Bernstein: Favre Now Beyond Insufferable

My only hope on a Bearsless Sunday was that the cart carrying Brett Favre off the field would just keep going.

Out of the stadium it would trundle, puttering all the way down to Mississippi, where the self-obsessed hillbilly would be plopped back into his swamp and forgotten, and his bizarre personal narrative of football torture-porn would end.


In his typically vainglorious postgame comments, Favre proclaimed “I’m shocked that I was able to play and move around the way I was…I don’t know what to say – to be able to come out and play, and give us a chance to win, and play at a high enough level, I mean Monday and Tuesday I couldn’t even walk.”

Not sick to your stomach yet? Try this: “The physical side of it? I really can’t complain. I probably should. I’ve played with a broken foot and I’m getting eight stitches in my chin. The elbow, I’ve been battling tendinitis.”

Never can I remember a pro athlete so actively involved in his own mythmaking, and so comically unaware of how transparently he’s doing it.

Every moment of every game, it’s as if he’s hearing the fawning lapdogs in the booth describe his slow-motion reactions. There is no move too small to be calculated – the wince, the groaning rise from the turf, the weary walk to the sideline, and the “look at me!” run down the field after a TD pass, during which all his ailments of the day disappear miraculously.

We saw it in the split second when he decided to milk the moment yesterday, after the Pats’ Myron Pryor clipped his chin. The riding exit only needed James Brown’s assistant placing a white cape over him as Favre screams “I can’t do no more!” The announcers played their roles, immediately affecting the solemn tones befitting a presidential funeral procession. Turns out it was no big deal.

He once had his agent leak pictures of his injured ankle to the media, so the world could see just how tough he really is.

Actually, he’s the worst kind of weak.

It’s not enough to just play, and let his accomplishments speak for themselves while he deals with the constant pain faced by all veteran players each week. And it’s not enough to allow his legion of de facto PR staffers on various media platforms to sing his praises. He has to lead the band. He’s that needy.

(As an aside, with each day he reminds me more of Mel Gibson. Here are two guys dealing with the public embarrassment of unfortunate voicemails, both of whom love to play characters who overcome torture. Favre is always playing Favre, while Gibson’s characters in “Payback,” “Lethal Weapon” and “Braveheart” endure similarly [not to mention what director-Mel delighted in showing you with Jesus, and with the fun-loving Mayans of “Apocolypto”]. Mel is welcome to join him on the cart to the swamp, and they can revel in their shared taste for commercialized sadomasochism.)

All you need to know about Favre, really, was contained in that one postgame comment.

“I really can’t complain. I probably should.”

On both counts, the opposite is true.

More from Dan Bernstein
  • Vexed in Valpo

    Hey Bernie — Did you catch Mortenson’s malapropism when discussing Favre’s “injury?” He said it was a possible “joken bra.”

  • Denver Smeghead

    Favre is an attention whoar, pure and simple. Everybody watching him probably gives him a bigger (tiny) woody than Jen Sterger ever could.

    And I had a post eaten by the CBS grue on Friday talking about a couple of things. One of which is that I had a WYC read a couple of weeks ago, but Bernsie didn’t use my alias. Apparently they don’t think it’s appropriate for the airwaves. So, I’ll probably modify it; after all, it’s no fun just being a Dave or Bob or whatever.

  • mad as hell fan.....

    Thom Brenneman could probably be more insufferable, but not much more. “He is 41 years old”!, playing through blah blah blah balh”. “Our thoughts are all with Brett Favre”. Uh, actually they aren’t and they shouldn’t be you embarrassment of a national broadcaster.

    • Bob Loblaw

      And he can take his old insufferable joke of a father Marty with him. Anyone remember his comments about Cub fans a few years back?

      PS- “Tom” is spelled T-o-m, not T-h-o-m. Idiots! Now I am going to go take out the thrash, as my garbage can is full.

  • Zombie Chris Henry

    Bernstein, whaddya know about being tough? You never played football a day in your life, which also makes you gay.

    But seriously, this hick is tarnishing his legacy more every week. Assuming everyone knows the stories – Favre would stay over for hours on end to talk football with that week’s broadcast team b/c he was older and wasn’t going out with his younger teammates, so he was loved by these pathetic broadcasters and painted as some kind of “all football all the time man’s man.”

    Watching him get punished every week is a beautiful thing. It’s definitely better than actually having his season ended by a real injury like a broken bone. I hope he continues to play like sh-t, keeps milking his “tough guy” persona to his media lapdogs and then limps back to hickville after a 6-10 season.

    • Ben "BoBo" Bodart

      6-10…that’s a little optimistic don’t you think?

  • Pulseczar

    Favre is such a drama queen. Now he needs to remind us of how hurt he is and how great it was that he could even grace an NFL field yesterday.

  • Shawn

    I’ve never seen a football player lay in the fetal position while another man holds his chin as he’s carted off the field, and all this for 8 STICHES!!! I don’t want to sound too meatballish, but how many players each week are stiched up and sent back out to play in that very same game? In his own words after the game he said, “I remember everything. Unfortunately I do remember everything.” Doesn’t sound to concused there. JUST 8 STICHES!?!?!?!? I was really hoping the final football moment I would see Favre would be him being held ever so lightly with his eves closed as he is driven away. Now we’ll have to hear him butter up this latest “flesh wound” as he looks for more and more ways to cover up his coming suspension. GET OFF MY TV YOU OLD B!TCH!!!

  • Jimmy G


    For a guy who probably never wore a jock, you sure are an expert in how aging sports stars should conduct themselves. Obviously he knows one thing…how to conduct himself on the field, where he truly is a warrior. Don’t confuse him with those illuminaries off the field… maybe our mud slinging policitians or whiny sports talk show hosts. If he was a Bear you or the other hating types above wouldn’t be saying a thing. So go back to carping about the failed QBs the Bears have had since Favre joined the league, or your current over rated prima donna…he of the jerk face and attitude.

    • mad as hell fan.....

      What does this have to do with an “aging” star? It is about how a person should handle himself, nothing more. You think former players, Qb’s, like Favre? They do not, and they are more tired of his act then the fans. A warrior doesn’t look like such a pansy with a cut chin. A warrior doesn’t tell him how tough and “awersome” he is. A warrior doesn’t cry as much as he does, or try to get as much attention just for being an old QB. It is an embarrassment to everyone involved.

    • Beverly Brewmaster

      Jimmy: please, please, please, please, PLEASE call into the show today. That would totally make my Monday.

    • Denver Smeghead

      Favre is a deutschebank period.

  • bronzo

    Wow Bersie you really do hate Favre!! I grew tired of his act a long time ago. So let me get this straight….anyone who lives south of the Mason / Dixon line is a Hillybilly/redneck?

    Now there’s an open mind for you.

    • CHet's Inflated Ego

      Bernsie thinks that anyone who lives South of I-90 is a hillbilly/redneck.

  • Jimmy G

    Mad as hell fan,

    First, what are you mad about? Grow up….it’s a game played by ego driven maniacs who aren’t exactly PR / crisis management experts. But I’d love to see you get up from the hits he takes, including the one from the 300 pounder who hit him with the crown of his helmet. All you have to do is watch the supporting reactions from his Viking teammates, or listen to their comments, to see the complete respect they have for him….which is something you or Bernsie will never understand. But ask Douggie Fresh or Eddy O’B, and they’ll tell you the guys a warrior….again, unlike any Bear QB you have ever know.

    • Chris in Scottsdale

      Who’s defending Bear QB’s here? At what point has anyone said anything about a Bear QB being tougher, better, or even in the same league as Favre? Are you even reading this thread? Nobody has mentioned anything about the Bears… but you.

      I don’t remember Doug or O’B crying about their injuries suffered… in fact, I can’t even remembering them making a mention of it in more than passing reference, if that.

      I don’t remember

    • mad as hell fan.....

      What are you so defensive about Jimmy? There are plenty of former athletes and current athletes that are completely tired of his act and have been long ago. Apparently you are too busy waxing your johnson to your Favre poster every week to actually see a guy that you call “jerk face” get beaten into submission every week. I don’t think he has Moss, Harvin, or Adrian Peterson with a good O-line. I think he has the worst O-line, Johnny Knox, Hester, and Matt Forte, plus has Martz calling his plays for him. There are a ton of Qb’s who take hits every week and get back up from them. Favre apparently doesn’t have enough people on his junk so he has to go talk about “awersome” and tough he is.

  • Scoopie

    Having his chin held while he was on the cart was extremely embarassing. He looked like such a little girl. He’s a tough player, but that took me over the top. The reason it was so embarassing is because he was fine and could talk perfectly fine after the game. Yeah, he got hurt, but him going out on the cart like that made me think he would have to be in one of those braces and have his jaw wired shut.

    But alas, it wasn’t, and he continued to spew.

    I’m glad that the viqueens are losing though.

    • mad as hell fan.....

      He could see the TV camera and its crew running along side the cart so he tried to “dramaqueen” it up as much as he could.

    • Chet's Inflated Ego

      Amen to that…glad to see the Vikes bite it.

      Was that a mirage yesterday, or do The Lions have enough talent to be a major concern for next year in the division???

  • Chris in Scottsdale

    It doesn’t have anything to do with Cutler. When was the last time Bernstein gave a Bears QB a pass, exactly? He’s not doing it with Cutler, despite the fact that he’s perpetually counting clouds on Sundays.

    It’s entirely because Favre the person has become a farce since that first Green Bay retirement press conference. There are tons of tough guys that played through pain for a long time that felt no need to milk it beyond the last drop. Nobody’s ever questioned his toughness. Nobody’s ever questioned his talent. It’s firmly established that he’s among the top in both regards among anyone who’s ever played the game.

    Problem is, he can’t just go out and let his play speak for itself, nor can he let a press conference go by without trying to add THAT to his legacy rather than the game he just played. He turns every single week into his own personal version of “The Decision”. We get it. You’re great. You’re tough. You now need to shut your mouth and either play or not. I don’t even mind the choreographed celebrations where he seemingly wills his way into a 4.6 40 when celebrating his latest touchdown with a downfield receiver. I’m simply sick of hearing him talk about it. You argue he’s not a politician. I say he’s remade himself into one before our very eyes. If I want to hear someone ramble on incessantly about how great he is, I’ll pop in Diddy or Fiddy, not the Vikings postgame.

  • Chet's Inflated Ego

    That moron, Trent Dilfer, on Booyah, called him “heroic.”

    Let’s reserve that word for our armed forces, police, fire-fighters, etc.

  • thebizkit

    Wow, the Bulls come back from 20 points down, Derrick Rose play’s like a superstar in the Bulls home opener, the defense absolutely shut down the Pistons in the fourth and yet Bret Favre is a bigger story?

    LOL at the 670 commercials “While the other station talks Yankee’s off season plans we talk Chicago Sports!”

    More like

    “670 the score, we talk more Favre than anyone else!”

    • Chet's Inflated Ego

      Excellent comment…thank you…DRose and The Bulls deserve some love.


    I posted this on my Facebook page yesterday. There was a Rex Grossman sighting late in the Washington/Detroit game, and naturally the ex-Bear fumbled the snap. The Lions ran it back for a touchdown and Detroit ended up winning 37-25 over the Redskins. Head coach Mike Shanahan’s explanation for why he benched Donovan McNabb in favor of Grossman being more comfortable with the 2 minute offense makes the Washington head coach an early candidate for Thursday’s “WYC” come 5p. It was that stupid!

    • Lovie's Shiny Chin Scar

      He was hit from behind on the fumble. I can’t understand why everyone is saying that he fumbled the snap….unless deep down they just wish he did.

  • meesohawnee

    Hey.. can someone tell me where i find the Randy Moss book of English at Barnes and Noble. ? just “ax’n”

  • Paul

    so lets write an article about him…

  • Pete

    Bernstein…look no further than the DSM-IV Axis II diagnosis of Histrionic Personality Disorder 301.50 criteria. He fits this to a T. I was thinking the exact same thing after the 2nd “collapse” on the field and then in the fetal position on the cart. The worst thing about this disorder is that he is likely not conciously doing these things with full knowledge of what they look like to others. Another problem is that, the kool-aid drinking media lives for this and buys every minute of it. He got hit in the chin and like you said, needed a few stitches…c’mon. I’m not a huge hockey guy but didnt Duncan Keith have his face bashed in by a puck, lose 8 teeth, got stitches and novacane and came back to play. I’m glad you are calling this dude out! Enough!

  • Girth Brooks

    After hearing Bernsie talking about this, maybe this is the sports version of the Truman Show.

  • bigtime sucker

    What Favre is doing is putting his legend in debt, and he adding debt on top of his debt and the only way he feels he can get out of debt is by adding more debt, accept he doesn’t realize that he is in debt. And here’s the kicker, adding Randy Moss to his receiving corps, hasn’t gotten him any bit closer out of debt. When they got Moss, I was thinking of Favre the player getting the ball out to Peterson, Moss, and Harvin and reinacting the 1998 Vikings that were virtually unstoppable, especially when Rice comes back, but that ain’t happening, so to save face, he needs to create a hero(more debt) and do heroic things(more debt) and put his team in jeopardy while making it look like he fighting through pain and suffering for the team. If Favre was the team player he is, and is hurt as he is, he would step aside and let Jackson start a game or two. Let Jackson follow the very simple game plan that is football 101. Handoff to the best running back in the league over and over and over and over again, then go play action and throw it deep to Randy Moss. That to me is simple football, it’s the only thing that has worked for as long as the forward pass has been legal. Than he will heal up and then see what he can do, but nope he can’t let his “streak” end so he will continue to pile up debt and continue to become a bigger and bigger deutch bank.

    • bigtime sucker

      i meant the team player he isn’t

  • Ray From South Bend

    The Patriots will probably resign him and still get the draft pick

    • Chet's Inflated Ego

      Clever thought…but I’m very sure Moss has worn out his welcome in NE.

  • Chris in Scottsdale

    Thanks for mentioning the Skins-Lions play. Ndamukong Suh is going to be a biannual nightmare for as long as he’s in this division. I don’t think I’ve ever had more pleasure watching a rival player than I do Suh. He scares and excites me at the same time.

    The best part about that was that he was hit from behind, and he lackadasically turned around and backpedaled into the end zone. Total un-Suh, but it was funny regardless.

    • Chet's Inflated Ego

      He is awesome.
      Suh already has 6.5 sacks this year, should be going to the Pro Bowl.
      And will be going there for many years to come.

  • Chris in Scottsdale

    And now Randy Moss is cut? That’s delicious.

    Let the “BEARS SHOULD GO GET HIM” chants begin? LoL.
    Honestly though… I wouldn’t hate it.

    • Chet's Inflated Ego

      I guess he burned that bridge in MN very quickly.
      What a piece of work.

      And I agree, he’d be an upgrade for The Bears.

  • General Soreness

    I really do not think that Favre is trying to show how tough he is. If that were the case, he would’ve sat up like a man in the cart while being driven off the field. I believe that he is preemptively making excuses as to why he is going to retire before that whole purple, gold, and white ship goes down. Everyone (especially Chilly) knows that it was a mistake to bring back a 41 year old QB into a league full of young beasts like Detroits “A Boy names Suh”. He better hope is is not in uniform when he meets that dude.

  • General Soreness

    excuse me….Detroit’s “A Boy Named Suh”.

  • jeff ircink

    I listened to the Boors & Berstink show today from WI. I guess anyone can get radio gigs on-air.

    Couple things. It’s no revelation that Bears’ fans or people from Chicago are going to rip Favre a new a-hole. I’ve hated Chicago and the Bears my entire life. But these two radio clowns act as though they’ve hit on something when they comment is overdramatizing his injuries AND their general distain for Number 4. So what? What’s just as pitiful is that the callers (and most of the comments on this site) echo Boors & Berstink’s sentiments as if, “Oh my God, B&B are right! Brett IS like that! I never knew I felt the same way!”

    Not sure which B of B&B said this but one of the callers today correctly called you out on your incorrect observation that Favre overdramatizes his injuries, then jumps and runs around after a TD. Wrong. If you’re referring to the game last week, Favre was jumping around but a blind man could see he was jumping and hobbling, jumping and hobbling. Open your eyes.

    And listen up, Score 670 listeners…these radio clowns could care less about you. I was shocked (and I’ve worked in radio before) how B&B blatantly rip on their supportive callers while the caller is on the air and once they’ve hung up. I’m not a fan of 1250 ESPN The Big Show in Milwaukee, but even those guys don’t act that way toward their listeners.

    As one of their callers pointed out today (which Boors & Berstink vehemently denied), the fact that the spent so much of their radio time today on Favre proves the point that FAVRE SELLS. If B&B truly wanted Brett to ride off into the sunset on his lawnmower (or a stretcher), they’d simply ignore stories about him and concentrate on the Bears.

    Hey, I’m not saying Boors & Berstink aren’t entertaining. That’s part of their job. But to inform and educate? No.

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