CHICAGO (CBS) – There’s more to a turkey than what’s on a farm or a table. There’s also a turkey of the year.

The turkey of this year is Tom Ricketts: billionaire-owner of the Chicago Cubs, asking taxpayers to help him pay $200 million to renovate Wrigley Field.

And the turkeys at Northwestern University, scheduling a football game on a field with an end zone a few inches from a brick wall.

And can you name a bigger gobbler than Ron Huberman, chief of the Chicago Public Schools, who says he cares about kids but denies them a library? Let ’em peck around for their own books.

At the Cook County Board, President Turkey, Todd Stroger, stuffing his friends with county contracts. His turkey-ette, Carla Oglesby, got the gravy: a no-bid, no-work contract — pumpkin pie.

Congressman Turkey, Jesse Jackson Jr., wiggling his waddle about being a senator or a mayor, into the Blagojevich suit. And a blonde in a bathing suit. No senator or mayor for him. He’s well-done.

And at the airports tonight, the turkeys are roasting, sizzling and cluck-clucking like hens: “Don’t you dare touch my feathers.” Better to be burned to a crisp than some security guy taking a peek.

And if you think I’m a bad chef, over-cooking those birds, I admit that when it comes to turkeys, it takes one to know one.

Watch & Listen LIVE