Spiegel: Presenting The Ultimate Meatball

Matt Spiegel, co-host, The Danny Mac Show.

I love when the true, fearless, exhibitionist meatballs dress for their moment in the sun. You know, those brave few that happily paint the face and remove the shirt in hopes of looking so ridiculous, network TV decides an entire nation should be able to laugh at them. Fandoms need these people, and these people seem to be having a wonderful time expressing their fire and passion with zeal. Bless these boneheads.

Last Sunday brought us the pink-faced, bloated, seemingly hairless oaf in Bears overalls with no shirt underneath, and a Bear-head hat. Fox gave him lots of air time.

I want more.

Here, thanks to listener Steve from The Nimble Group, is the visual representation of one man’s ultimate meatball.

meatball bearsfan3 Spiegel: Presenting The Ultimate Meatball

Spiegel visualizes, Nimble Steve brings him to life.

Note the items Nimble Steve helped me visualize:

1) The full body bear pelt, with blood freshly dripping from the teeth, worn as a cape. It is of course painted blue and orange. I would accept a bear-skin rug, but bonus points are granted for the actual pelt.

2) He is shirtless underneath, with cold-pinkened skin, and exposed moobs. He has painted a Sweetness “34” across his chest, with a “Green Bay Sucks” just below at belly level.

3) He wears a sausage link necklace, which is replaced weekly. The original is tailgate fodder for a future game.

4) He sports cutoff Bears Zubas, which are shredded menacingly just below the knee.

5) He has tattooed Ditka’s face onto his own, mustache and all. The Blublockers are his own.

6) The foam finger is purchased freshly on game day. Where the money comes from, I have no idea.

If you see this man in the wild, please capture him for the kind of museum life we deserve him to lead. Thanks.

For the full size picture of the Ultimate Meatball click HERE

More from Matt Spiegel
  • Clark W. Griswold

    Speegs – don’t let Bernsy see this – he will give you a good ol’ fashioned North Shore pompous tongue lashing on how we are supposed to cheer for our football team around here.

    Nicely done kid


  • Eaglo Jeff

    Needs some sort of face painting, yet keeping Ditkaesque look. He’s also too skinny. Maybe some sort of utility belt for cigars, various meats and cheeses as well as beer….also not sure about where the money comes from that. ;-)

  • Larry Carta

    That can be the ultimate meatball or you can just say “David Kaplan.’

    • Dre Herron


  • Clark W. Griswold

    I wonder what Mike North’s doing

  • 800 hp

    Hahaha, that is great. I love the bloody teeth. Arrrgggh!


  • mabeno

    I’m surprised he’s extending his index finger.

  • Denver Deadite

    That is just awesome!

  • Bob Loblaw

    Shalom der my Meatpants friend! Can’t wait for Hit & Run so i can hear your pompous opinions!

  • Dave

    Leave the comedy to B&B they’re much better at it. As Jigs use to say…BRUTAL!!

  • Ditka's booger

    That’s actually Zach Zaidman without his mask on. Never forget Zach Zaidman who once said that “Rex makes throws like Brett Favre in practice.” During a report about training camp a few years back. The ultimate optimistic meatball is Zach Zaidman.

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