“I Am Number Four”
By MICHAEL WALTERS
“I Am Number Four” scores a big zero in the thrills department. It’s mushy mix of dull special effects and ridiculous teen angst love story. The story is based on a hit young adult book from last summer and follows one of a small number of Alien teens who fled his home planet for a new life on Earth. But he’s being hunted down by a race of tattooed trench coated gill breathing thugs from his home world- who are bent on picking them off one by one.
At times I swear the script was written by an introduction to screenwriting class. Scenes seem to have been imported wholesale from a Final Cut template. Dialogue is sparse. And what there is of it- is remarkably wooden.
Alex Pettyfer stars as the hunky teen alien and his real life girlfriend, “Glee’s” Diana Agron, stars as his love interest. Their romance involves lots of moping in the “Twilight” mode. I can only hope they have more chemistry off screen than on because they look and act like two pretty people more involved in their own reflections than with anyone else in their scenes.
The special effects largely fail to dazzle. The flashiest thing he has in his arsenal are bright lights that shine from his hands. They make flashlights unnecessary and can protect him against Gremlins, but as inspirations for cinematic awe- they’re awfully dim. Originality is almost wholly absent from this exercise in CGI. It finally ends midway through to set up a sequel. But that feels a lot more like a threat than a promise.