Bernstein: Cutler Drama Begins, Again

By Dan Bernstein- Senior Columnist

(CBS) Perfect timing to remind us that Jay Cutler is always something. Make that some…thing.

We should be ready for it, after two seasons of feverish, overblown arguments over everything about him: his departure from Denver, his acquisition by the Bears, the meting out of blame or credit for each of his 42 interceptions and 50 touchdowns, his shoulder-shrugs, eye-rolls, party habits, concussions, diabetes, and his infamous sprained MCL in the NFC title game.

It’s been a nice half-year away from that, right?

Well that respite has ended, and it’s ended hard. In the same week that ratification of a new labor agreement is expected to occur, opening training camps across the league, the news came yesterday that Cutler’s high-profile engagement to reality-TV body Kristin Cavallari is over.

(Some free PR advice: while the long-held theory of releasing/leaking bad news on Friday evening may be starting to backfire due to a wary, well-connected public, the Sunday afternoon release still guarantees full-tilt-boogie treatment in the next complete news cycle. You’re welcome.)

We will soon be back to Jaywatch most of the time, both off the field and on. The tabloids will first feed on the carcass of the relationship, before moving on to the “He/she now spotted with” stories. For the rest of us, we’ll deal with the truth of covering the Bears – it’s really all about Jay, always, no matter how we may try to convince ourselves otherwise.

As last year ended, so this one will begin, with one of the most polarizing figures in Chicago sports history back where he’s always been.

You can make a fair point that any NFL team is disproportionately QB-focused, considering both the changes in the game that have made this a passers’ league, and the desire of the NFL’s TV partners to follow primarily the storylines of the most famous, recognizable faces.

What makes Cutler different, though, is that he is still a cipher. We project feelings and motivations upon him because of the vacuum that exists.

Fans and media overreach in their interpretations of gesture and body language, because there’s so little actual language from him to describe what’s happening and why.

We have no idea if he has cared about any of it. If his unjust vivisection-by-twitter at the hands of fellow players even bothered him for a second, we may never know. Win or lose, pretty much the same, blank slate – one on which we create our own designs.

Since last season ended, Cutler and his girl have been making a spectacle of themselves at fashion shows and sporting events, gallivanting from clubs to parties to clubs, finding enough spare time for a well-publicized charity trip to Kenya.

The wedding was big news, even their registries much-discussed, and now it’s pfffft.

He’ll be asked about the breakup when he reports to camp, believe me. The angry “Talk sports! What is this, TMZ? You sound like women!!” crowd will have to deal with it.

Then the regular process of Bears football will crank back up, the one in which every practice pass Cutler makes has some greater meaning, a sideways glance in a preseason game is a sign of possible conflict, and Mike Martz tells us how Cutler has just successfully replicated cold fusion and solved both the Hodge conjecture and the Riemann hypothesis.

The work-stoppage is about to end. All we really missed were pointless, forgettable run-throughs and fantasy magazines.

And after all the damage and outages around here from the biblically-turbulent recent weather, we can sure benefit from a proven lightning rod.

Here he comes.

bernstein 90x130 Bernstein: Cutler Drama Begins, Again
Dan Bernstein has been the co-host of “Boers and Bernstein” since 1999. He joined the station as a reporter/anchor in 1995. The Boers and Bernstein Show airs every weekday from 1PM to 6PM on The Score, 670AM. Read more of Bernstein’s blogs here. Follow him on Twitter @dan_bernstein.
Listen to The Boers and Bernstein Show podcasts >>

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  • Larry Horse's Arse

    Just what the Bears need right as the lock-out ends…a dis-track-shun.

    • Spoon

      The only people distracted by this are idiots running around with IPhones that read TMZ.

  • Bronzo

    She sure is cute though…nice picture Dan posted of her.

    I’m looking forward to a HUGE series this week between the Sox / Tigers.

    • Beverly Brewmaster

      Sox-Tigers? What does that have to do with Cutler’s personal life???

      • Bronzo

        Absolutely nothing Bev…I was merely stating what I am interested in . her looks and White Sox baseball. this is not Bears news this is TMZ.

      • Beverly Brewmaster

        C’mon Bronzo… You of all people should know I’m being sarcastic!

        For the record, if I wanted to read about players’ personal lives, I’d read Deadspin.

      • Bronzo

        Bev I wasn’t sure if you were seriously busting my balls or not……I haven’t heard from you in a while… yes I should have known ….Glad your back

  • D.O

    For how private Jay has always appeared to me, I always found it odd he was engaged to a celebrity type. Given his personality, I always assumed he’d be a loner only interested in football, or marry some no-name nobody has never heard of so they can be alone together without distractions.

    Better to call it off now than in 2 years.

    • Bronzo

      I agree D O Cutller didn’t want any part of being a celebrity.. Look at his press conferences he HATES the limelight.

      Girls like her grow on trees for QB”s making 10 million a year.

  • Chris in Scottsdale

    But… what about the Sausage Stuffer?

    • Larry Horse's Arse

      Bernsie said that he and TB can’t get a refund…..only those who were registered with the Bridal Registry can return/exchange listed gifts.

      For years I would always give one of those wooden blocks with the knives sets as an engagement gift…….stopped doing that with O.J.

  • jack

    wow, i wonder who did the dumping – SHE because Cutler is not working or HE because her show got cancelled…

    HEY TMZ – why are you not all over this…..

    • PackerBacker reported that she got dumped by him. I just love that this is another excuse Bears fans will use to explain why Cutler sucks, always has sucked, and always will suck.

      • Chris in Scottsdale

        Who in the blue hell is going to blame any Cutler deficiency on THIS? There are plenty of other reasons why things go wrong with him.

        Now go milk your 210 pound woman.

      • Spoon

        Logic doesnt work vs herp-a-derps.

      • D.O

        Cutler doesn’t suck. There are many offensive deficiencies he’s working with on the Bears (OL, WRs). However, he also hasn’t lived up to his potential (far from it), and is no Aaron Rogers, if Rogers keeps playing the way he has. But Cutler is far from suck.

        I know its fun to talk in extremes when it comes to sports teams and their rivals, but reality is still reality.

      • Spoon

        210? Wow, he got himself a slim one!

    • D.O

      PEOPLE mag says Cutler dumped her. But who knows really. I’m sure its beyond her show being cancelled or Jay not working.

  • Spoon

    So the termination of an engagement is suddenly breaking drama? Really? Dear god the sports writing barrel must really be running low, or Dan’s outsourcing his writing to China.

    I dont think this could be the source of Cutler drama unless he also threw her off of an overpass.

    • Bronzo

      Amen Spoon…

    • jack

      it’s because the Sox and Cubs both won on Sunday. A blog that doesn’t carry a certain level of drama will not draw the amount of postings by us.

      Dan’s hiding somewhere in Chicago – Cutler news doesn’t fly well in China…they don’t have the bimbo + football QB = news factor

  • Murphs Upper-Lip

    If anything, Cutler will have MORE time to focus on football.

    • Spoon

      Unless he can focus himself some blocking, I doubt that’s going to be a positive.

  • Chris in Scottsdale

    On the good side, the jokes do flow rather freely… As usual, Deadspin is the forefront of tasteless funny on this one.

    In possibly related news, Caleb Hanie is now engaged to Kristin Cavallari.

  • Larry Horse's Arse

    Speaking of tasteless but funny….Bernsie speculated that Amy Winehouse would need to be triple-bagged to prevent ground-water contamination!!!

    • bronzo

      Wow that was bad !!!I didn’t hear that one…

  • Bronzo

    Reports are out that Cutler was hurt and unable to continue the relationship…HEY HEY

    • Spoon

      I heard she pulled left instead of right and he was sacked by a large group of blitzing paparazzi!

    • Larry Horse's Arse

      As Lovie would say, “Cutler has a groin.”

  • ML

    get a real football player, not a social slug

    • jack

      are you referring to Cutler or the babe

    • Chris in Scottsdale

      Expand… Just because Cutler’s a pud he shouldn’t be a football player? Should the Bears have focused on “real football players” that aren’t social slugs like Ben Roethlisberger or Brett Favre?

      Cutler comes across as a tool, no doubt… but the only reason this is getting major ink is because of his former fiancee’s profile… not because of his. Yeah, it’d get the mention locally, but it wouldn’t be TMZ fodder.

      • Spoon

        I guess we should also force James Harrison and Mendenhall to give up their uniforms too.

    • Spoon

      I love the implied idea that those two concepts are somehow connected… herp a derp!

      • Chris in Scottsdale

        I’m so stealing “Herp-a-derp” for everyday usage. Just wanted to let you know.

  • Wine 'em, Dine 'em... 69 'em

    That’s a nice picture of Kristin C. Check out that @ss. I wouldn’t hesitate to let her sit on my face and fart.

    • jack

      yeah – but take a look at Cutler’s face – that is not the face of someone who like the booty he sees….

      • Cameltoe Rancher

        Does he need to have his mouth open, eyes bugged out and tongue wagging? Don’t tell me- you are suggesting Kristin was a beard (BYE CRACKIE!!!)?

        Now THAT would be a story! He could appear with Tom Ricketts’ beefy sister on the ‘don’t hate gays’ commercials before Cub games.


    I’ve got to think Bears’ QB Jay Cutler will do his best (or worst) to downplay all the talk about what happened with Kristin Cavallari and the knee injury he sustained in the NFC Championship game as soon as Bears’ Training Camp OFFICIALLY opens in Bourbonnais as soon as the NFL lockout is squared away.

    Moving to another topic. This is the most important week of the 2011 regular season for the Chicago White Sox. I think this is the week that determines if the Sox are “ALL IN” as the ads claim or if they will be “ALL OUT”. A three game series starts tonight vs. the Tigers to wrap up 19 in a row vs. the AL Central. While I feel good that Mark Buehrle starts the series vs. the AL Central’s top team, I know absolutely nothing about tonight’s starter, lefty Duane Below (pronounced Bel-low) for Detroit. Usually, that’s not a good sign for the Southsiders. It won’t get any easier tomorrow and Wednesday when the Sox deal with Justin Verlander & Max Scherzer respectively. From the frying pan into the fire over the weekend when the red hot Red Sox visit U.S. Cellular Field. With the MLB Trade Deadline Sunday, I think we will know by the weekend if the Sox are buyers or sellers. A gut feeling? These Sox will sell.

    • Bronzo

      Thank you Shark I’m glad I’m not the only one interested in an actual sports story. I mentioned this earlier today and all I got was Sox / Tigers????

      Sox will throw Buehrle-Peavy-Danks at them …Not bad depending which Peavy shows up.

  • jack

    Sox – ALL IN – yes I think they can pull if off…

  • Cameltoe Rancher

    Injuries will be the key stat in the Bear’s season. If Lovie and his throbbing staff can keep the boys healthy, the Beloved just might be able to topple the Pack. If two weeks from now we hear that #’s 54, 57 and/or 90 are hurt, they’ll go 6-10 at best.

    Injuries (or avoiding them) should be #1 on the staff’s list of camp ‘musts’.

    Anybody try that new Palestinian chicken joint?


  • Joe

    Why TF are they giving Bernstein a column?
    I know Channel 2 hasn’t had the most compelling sportscasters lately, but they give a column to THIS annoying idiot?

    • Murphs Upper-Lip

      Joe, you’ve proven just why this idiot has been given a column.

  • Cameltoe Rancher

    Joe- if you think that this is bad, try reading D!ck Slapkowski’s blog that blames Martz for the Bears not acquiring a cr@p shoot of a WR!


    Read anything by Cowardly Joe Cowley. Both will invoke nausea and an@l bleeding.

  • Berstein's smug grin

    I never realized how homely looking Dan Bernstein is. I only know his voice from the radio. Can someone please explain to me why jews are so unattractive? Seriously, I’d like to know.

    • Beverly Brewmaster

      You’re not fooling anybody, Mr. Coppock.

      • Cameltoe Rancher

        HA!!!!!! B.Bev- you kill me!

  • George Oscar Bluth

    somewhere David Haugh is busy typing a story about how horrible Jay’s body language looks in that picture.

  • Big Tiny

    To hell with Bernsies’ blog…I love reading you’re guys posts!

  • meesohawnee

    best audible Jay ever called. Smart man. Jay dont need reality hose-bag. must have read The Predatory Female ..

  • Denver Deadite

    Hmm, I thought my comment went through earlier.

    I’m wondering what the other people in that photo are thinking. The guy behind Cutler thinks the women to his left have cooties or something. And the guy who’s face is right next to Cutler’s now-ex appears to be trying to hypnotize her.

  • hust44234eczĐáç
  • Larry Horse's Arse

    I agree with Bronzo and others.
    The Sox-Tigers series could well be the series of the year.
    The Tigers just whipped the Twinkies arse up here in MN.

    I would not be surprised if Bernsie’s next column relates to whether Kenny ought to be buying or selling.

    • Murphs Upper-Lip

      Not too long before we’ll be asking when/if Kenny will be buying/selling his Naperville complex. Definitely on the backside of his Sox career.

      • Murphs Upper-Lip

        Selling. Not buying/selling.

      • Larry Horse's Arse

        I’ll be happy to contribute a little statue of St. Joseph (or Frank Thomas) to help Kenny sell.

  • pulseczar

    I never even heard of her until they hooked up.



      Me neither

    • Murphs Upper-Lip

      I’m with you pulseczar.

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