Holmes: Superhero Football Team, Part IV

(WSCR) I’ve taken my love for football and my love for comics and tried to combine them. In putting together the team, I tried to make it to scale with the bigger players closest to the ball. In this imaginary world, I wanted to try to resemble how an NFL team would pick starters. You may agree, you may not.  Either way, have a little fun and tweak my list or create your own. The player/coach/executive that inspired the superhero/villain I placed in the position is in parentheses.

Team Marvel’s Defense

*Doom thinks the defense can maximize their strategic advantage by running out of a 4-3. This team blitzes like Lionel Richie: ALL NIGHT LONG… all night.

DE: Luke Cage (Julius Peppers). He’s everything you want in an end. Super strong, has great speed off the edge and a fantastic hand-fighter. Signed as a free-agent. And has turned out to be a real hero for hire. Tremendous speed off the snap. Takes time to warm-up to teammates. Physically imposing specimen at 6’6, 425 lbs. Surprisingly agile for his size. Relentless rusher.

DT: Juggernaut (Vince Wilfork). Some will think he’s starting because he’s the Xavier’s brother, but they’re wrong. Once he gets going he is unstoppable. Perfect for the 3-technique position. Gets up the field and is NEVER pushed out of his gap. Fast off the snap impossible to block. He is both the irresistable force and the immovable object. Coach Magneto will often use him as a FB in short yardage and goal line situations.

NT: The Hulk (Haloti Ngata). He is the anchor of the defense. A terror to gameplan for. Plays with rage. I would suggest you keep the trash-talking to a minimum. As angry as he plays, he’s also smart. Knows how to split double teams and sniff misdirection. Plays hard. Fantastic in run-support. Able to read, react and blow up screens better than anyone. 6’6 and 1,150 lbs of trouble. Takes punishment and laughs it off. Almost seems to get stronger when challenged. Even when he celebrates a good play and claps his hands, the stadium shakes. High motor guy. Keeps ripping his uniform.

DE: Thor (Mario Williams). He loves to play. Ridiculously competitive. He has a god-like physique. Lightning quick. Thunderous power at the point of attack. Well educated. Arrogant, but always plays to his potential. Loves putting on the shoulder pads. Thor refers to it as “my armor”. Could paly anywhere on this defense with tremendous size/speed combo: 6’6, 640 lbs. Has a hearty laugh when he gets to the quarterback. Well-traveled and is an excellent quote. Has his own radio show. Enjoys hunting in the offseason.

OLB: Sabertooth (Jon Beason). This is one bad dude. He has questionable character, but incredible production. Fast off the end. Great vision. Fantastic measurables: 6’6, 375  lbs and one of our fastest players. He’s a vicious tackler. Been none to scratch and claw opponents on the bottom of the pile. Phenomenal blitzer. He and Wolverine have to often be separated in practice. There’s rumors of bad blood between these too stemming over a woman.

MLB: Captain America (Brian Urlacher). Captain of the defense. Has the respect and trust of teammates. He’s the face of the franchise. Small by team standards, 6’2, 220 lbs, but a freakish athlete. Great sideline to sideline player. Sure tackler. A rush and rally player who has a nose for the ball. Loves the game. Weight room fanatic. Always prepared to play. Studious, courteous and kind. Big supporter of the military. Fantastic agility that borders on acrobatic. Always available after games; win or lose. Loves when the team travels to New York to play. Character off the charts. Sells the most jerseys by a landslide. Born leader.

OLB: Cable (LaMarr Woodley). Patrols the strong side at 6’8, 350 lbs. Not afraid of the dirty work. Loves a good fight and seems to slide off of blocks with no problems. Eyes seem to twinkle when he’s about to make a play. Looks older than he actually is because of countless surgeries. Always answers the call. Plays fearlessly and will sacrifice his body to make a play. Always sets off metal detectors in airports. Can usually been found asleep in his locker. Extremely intelligent. Great at play diagnosis.

RCB: Quicksilver (Darrell Green). Fastest player on the team, but a little light at 6′, 175lbs. Makes up for it with the amount of ground he can cover. Takes risks because he has incredible recovery speed. Takes on all-comers when it comes to races, but is starting to show his age. Excellent in man-coverage. Has a strange sister who hangs around the complex and makes a lot of the other players uncomfortable.

LCB: Spider-Woman (Nmadi Asomugha). She is hard to beat off the jam. Especially male players. Stronger than she looks. Sticks to you like glue. She’s experienced and covers a lot of ground. Fantastic instincts and ability to jump routes. Incredible agility that allows her to break on the ball for interceptions. A risk/reward corner.

FS: Nightcrawler (O.J. Atogwe). Now you see him, now you don’t. Nighcrawler seems to just appear and make interceptions. He routinely baits quarterbacks into making bad decisions. Can often be seen crouching in his spot right before the ball is snapped. Can line up anywhere and get to his landmark. A natural athlete and acrobat. Celebrates picks with back-flips. Good hand-fighter and solid in run support. Off the field, likes the finer things in life. Speaks many different languages. A bit of a loner, but always ready to play.

SS: Deadpool (Bob Sanders) Every team needs a guided-missle, lunatic playing that position. And no one is crazier than Deadpool…

Thanks for indulging me. I hope you enjoyed the series. Follow me on Twitter (@LHolmes670).

Superhero Football Team, Part I: DC Comics’ Defense
Superhero Football Team, Part II: DC Comics’ Offense
Superhero Football Team, Part III: Team Marvel’s Offense

More from Laurence Holmes
  • MorganEdge

    DE: Hulk, Thing
    DT: Drax the Destroyer, Juggernaut
    Speed on the ends, strength in the middle

    MLB: Wolverine
    OL: Hogun the Grim, Black Bolt

    Three strong silent types at line backer.

    S: Vision, Punisher
    DB: Silver Surfer, Young Conan (pre steroids)

    Speed at the corners and guys who can hurt you at safety

  • Chris in Scottsdale

    Or, we could do it the way Marvel does its comic books:
    DE – Wolverine or Deadpool
    DT – Wolverine or Deadpool
    DT- Wolverine or Deadpool
    DE – Wolverine or Deadpool
    OLB – Wolverine or Deadpool
    MLB – Wolverine or Deadpool
    OLB – Wolverine or Deadpool
    CB – Wolverine or Deadpool
    CB – Wolverine or Deadpool
    FS – Wolverine or Deadpool
    SS – Wolverine or Deadpool

  • Creighton

    Dude your teams are so mismatched, you didn’t even try with team marvel. You have a bunch of street level hero’s going against guys like Doomsday and Darkseid. Deadpool, Spiderman, Nightcrawler, Spiderwoman, Captain America, Sabertooth, Luke Cage, Reed Richards(crazy smart but not a banger in anyway)

    You can’t load up one team with Cosmic level or near cosmic beings like Darkseid, Superman, Hal Jordan, Black Adam, MM. I mean Superman can take a bath in the sun and sometimes does, Darkseid has beaten the DC big seven by himself, Doomsday has beaten the entire Super family and Darkseid by himself. Also you only put three Villiams on the marvel team. You skipped guys like Nova, Terrax, Silver Surfer, Venom, Blackbolt, Namor (one of the first Superheroes ever and a guy who beat the entire FF), Herc, Red Hulk, Sebastian Shaw, Jean Grey, Abomination, Beta Ray Bill, Thanos(if you can have Darkseid) Omega red, Loki, Ms.Marvel, Odin, Darwin, the Super Adaptoid, Zemo.

    On a high note if you ever do this with baseball John Rocker= Red Skull. What? Also if your going to have Spiderman on one team you gotta have the Blue Beetle on the other, that’s part of comic nerd code Laurence and you broke the code. Please not you kept your street level characters Like Batman, Tim Drake, Night Wing all on the sidelines for team DC but you splattered Marvel with them. Shame on you Holmes, your trying to fix the imaginary game between imaginary characters being held on a Sports blog.

    Well I am not letting it happen, I am having my own pretend game, and Galactus is on my team, and your team consists of the Vibe, Skateman , The Red Bee, and I am sending you Dazzler and Thunderstrike even though they are Marvel characters. Plus we got Squirrel Girl on my team, that’s right Squirrel Girl. Are you shaking now, you gonna cry LH, you gonna run to your momma? Does anyone want Starfox?

  • Creighton

    Wait what am I saying, Starfox can’t be on a team. He is to busy hosting his show, “Superhero all access” over at the Halas Hall of Justice. His alter ego is Jimmy Olsen, he will also be doing the radio sideline reporting for SNFL DC team on Newsradio 780. Gosh who does he remind me of? He likes to be called the Ginger haried genus sometimes but only by Thor. Speaking of Which how is Thor not playing TE for the Marvel team? Greg Olsen anyone?

blog comments powered by Disqus
Daily Weather Reports Delivered To You!SIGN UP NOW: Get daily weather reports every morning from meteorologist Steve Baskerville!
CBS Sports Radio RoundupGet your latest sports talk from across the country.

Listen Live