Admiral Theatre Offers Lap Dances For Holiday Toy Donations

CHICAGO (CBS) — If you’re a stingy, Scroogey type at Christmas, the Admiral Theatre has an incentive for you to change your ways.

Yes, that Admiral Theatre.

Beginning Monday and continuing through Saturday, the Admiral is offering a free lap dance to anyone who donates an unused, unwrapped toy.

But you won’t get extra attention if you clear off the shelves at the toy store and come to the Admiral with a big sack on your back. The limit is one lap dance per customer.

The campaign was launched last year. The Onion A.V. Club reports the Admiral had customer participation in its service events drop, and wanted to provide an incentive for people to get involved again.

Last year, the event was accompanied by a seasonal “12 Days of XXX-Mas” celebration, which also featured what the A.V. Club called featured “a stripper-fied rendition of ‘The Nutcracker.’”

The blog Chicagoist reported the campaign last year raised five carloads of toys, and they were donated to churches around Albany Park.

By the way, the Admiral, at 3940 W. Lawrence Ave., is open 364 days a year. It is only closed on Christmas Eve.

CBS Chicago Web Producer Adam Harrington contributed to this report.

  • Steve

    Gives a new definition to peppermint stick

  • Bill Figel

    and unwrapped toy

  • OliveSorceress

    Ho, Ho, Ho!

    • Rutgers LadyBallers

      Congrats, Ollie.

      Yours is the definitive post.

      • Z25

        Interesting way to get donations in this type of economy. Just goes to show you, got to find ways to make stuff happen.

  • Jim Hamilton

    Sorry people I like beautiful women as much as any straight guy here but I just find it moraly bankrupt wrong to perverse a Religious Holliday set aside for Jesus Christ and shame on the churches for even taking the donations.

    • JustAGuy

      In southside Chicago, there are several churches where the preachers curse and carry on from the pulpit. Obama’s old pastor is one of them. Father Flager is another. Rev Meeks is another. There’s probably more.

      • Gary Allan

        But its for the Children. Ho Ho Ho

    • Neon

      If you think christ was born on Dec. 25th, you’re delusional. Spend 5 min researching and you’ll learn it’s a pagan holiday that acknowledges the sun’s trip back north. Just as Easter and the xmas tree. All pagan adopted and morphed into christianity.

      • Jim Hamilton

        no one said Dec 25 is christst birthday I refered to a Religious Holliday SET ASIDE for Jesus Christ not once was it refered to as his Birthday and if you think it was then you are perhaps the one who is delusional

      • Neon

        @Jim Hamilton

      • Sage49

        Where ever your anger and bitterness comes from is your business but anyone who has been to school knows that the calendar we use today was not in use during the time of Christ, but thank you anyway for your little rant And by the way, Einstein, the winter solstice or the “sun’s trip back north” as you put it, is on December 22nd this year. As for this lap dance thing, I find it crude and disrespectful and would hope that out of respect to believers, people will donate toys directly to a charity and give the dancing girls the night off.

      • PM

        Christmas is a pagan holiday, and its true people need to educated themselves, however I would add that it’s clear to me that Christianity has many misleading practices and teachings just as many other religions. When we learn focus our attention on loving each other given of our time, accepting each other differences and points of views, encouraging others in their time of need, and just loving ourselves as well as each other we will see the Most High true Grace not just on one that was pick by Man; we have the opportunity to see is and experience it every day. Sad for us because we continually to fail the test and the mission. Lack of knowledge is considered a sin. The True Meaning of Christmas is about Love not Toys Lap dances, I-pads, and smart phone its about giving of ones self.

    • Daz Nolte Ware

      Why don’t you send your comments to the children who will benefit from this effort. You’re the type person that thinks, “we want to help these needy children but will accept gifts only from those we decide meet our moral standards. You are unbelievably judgemental and miss the whole point of a compassionate religioh.

    • Frank

      Christmas was added as a holiday in 1870 by the US government in order to get people to spend more by the end of the year in order to increase GDP and tax revenue by the end of the year. That’s all it is, religion has little to nothing to do with it.

      • Jim Hamilton

        The Origin of Christmas Presents
        In pre-Christian Rome, the emperors compelled their most despised citizens to bring offerings and gifts during the Saturnalia (in December) and Kalends (in January). Later, this ritual expanded to include gift-giving among the general populace. The Catholic Church gave this custom a Christian flavor by re-rooting it in the supposed gift-giving of Saint Nicholas

        pre-Christian Rome was a bit before 1870 don’t you think?

  • Anthony Ellis

    This is nice for Christmas.

    • Bob

      Drugs are illegal, lap dances are not!!

  • ChimChimCheree

    @Jim – I, unfortunately, agree with you. I know drugs are illegal but would you mind if the local drug dealer donated all his proceeds from Christmas to a Church? I am secular but this is something that needs a forum to discuss, with live people from both sides.

    • Jim Hamilton


      i can’t see anyproceeds from sinfull behavier being accepted

      • Jim hamilton

        A church that knowingly accepts donations from continued sinful proliferation is wrong in doing so I can’t say much for that churches example and also that church by accepting those items is the same as saying well we’re not the ones who robbed the bank so it’s ok if we enjoy the money. When it comes down to it all was wrongfully gained by amoral sin and any acceptance is to become a part of that sin. It’s the perfect example of (Fruits of a bad tree).

      • Jim Hamilton

        ChimChim don’t get me wrong here I am not a religious person I do have a moral vision of how I would try to be if I were and I do believe in Christ but it’s not a belief in Christ. In other words yeah I believe he was here on earth as a man and performed miracles and all but I don’t have a following of his ways I hope that makes sense to you I know that I can never atain that level of hollyness and I am not even going to try. I am one who don’t like to fail so I’m not even going to get started You may say I just fail right out of the gate and thats ok I got no problem with that. But yeah the churches in this respect are in away participating in the very sin they preach out against and further more how can they themselves be moraly justified to preach against the very sin that they have become a part of? But who am I to question the church I just have my own set of values and standards.

  • matt2717

    As opposed to Jerry Sandusky, who may want lapdances from the toys’ recipients…

    • TheAcaciaStrain

      haha yeah he sure loves those kids. Jerry Sandusky 2012

  • John Gardner

    Toys for tits!

    • Obama Rama

      you win!

    • Bill O

      No, it’s tits for toys.

      • Big time

        Both wrong: tits for toys for tots

  • Mikey

    ” The Onion A.V. Club reports the Admiral had customer participation in its service events drop,…”

    The Onion A.V. Club?

    So this is just a big joke then right? Or is there actually an A.V. Club called The Onion?

    • Joshua Veverka

      I believe the AV Club actually reports some factual stuff.

  • Admiral Theatre Offers Lap Dances For Holiday Toy Donations « CBS Chicago »
  • walter

    This is the state of affairs in Chicago and the nation under the monster Obama. We are collapsing, just like ancient Rome, in a cesspool of decadence and ruin under this creature Obama.

    • Big Bear

      Thankfully, I live in one of the regions that will be Most Likely to Secede when the Socialist safety net unravels. Mullah Hussein Obama and the Beltway parasites do not represent most of the country anyway. Many of us have cut them off and many more will continue to do so. They will continue to hold sway over their liberal enclave cities, which will become Gazas once the funny money system collapses.

    • Patrick

      Lol what? You Drudgies are insane and give us true conservatives a bad name.

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    As long as it’s not used sex toys!

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    I don’t need my Tonka Trucks anymore.

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    I can hear Dana Carveys Church Lady saying “Isnt that SPECIAL, SPECIAL FOR SATAN!”

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    I see a guy with a red suit and white beard with a bag over his shoulder and a big smile on his face

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  • wokman

    I hope the strippers still get paid by the establishment for the lap dance. The strippers are there to make money & money only.

  • Midge Masters

    I love the self righteous moral police in here that probably support the 4 or more illegal wars that are killing children by the thousands.

    • Jim Hamilton


      You can protest my active participation in this countries armed forces all you want, you have the freedom to speak your mind and I will not stifle you nor will I try. Your freedom to enjoy these rights among others are exactly what I swore to die for if and when I am called to do so with no questions ask. But self righteous in reference to me? I will tell you myself right now right here in front of everyone that I am a dirty, rotten, low down no good sinner that doesn’t deserve one once of the blood that Jesus himself bled for the likes of us. I am worthless you are right. Im not the issue here, the children are what this is about and this strip club could care less about how these children are doing there is a hidden agenda here.

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  • Ryan Mouk

    Thats cool. At least they are trying to help children. What the hell have the rest of you done?

    • Jim Hamilton

      Nothing really I joined the service, served in a couple of police actions, done 2 tours in Southwest Asia, Lost my left leg, raising 4 kids, pay my taxes. Do you think these girls pay taxes on the tips they get?

      Perverting society and saying it’s ok because I gave a toy to a girl for taking off her clothes to give to another little girl so she will grow up and be happy to take off her clothes. Their target is children but It’s only to invest in their own perverted future and I would strongly recommend the church leaders rebuke such offerings. I’m not even an active Christian by no means but I know what morally bankrupt is.

      Pastors and congregations look out for this wolf in a sheep’s wool. The children are at stake here. Send their toys back to them. If this is what it takes to get someone to donate a toy then that person has problems. If your pastor thinks this is okay then challenge that spirit it’s your duty as a Christian and you will see it’s time for a new pastor because this per verses the church it promotes enticement of children.

      • Joshua Veverka

        Lighten up man. These guys were already going to the trip club. NOw they are donating toys as well.

      • Jim Hamilton

        Joshua V

        It’s not about weather or not they were already going to the strip prono club (Porno and kids don’t mix in my book) nor a lot of other peoples, even some of the people that go to these live porno shows have enough morals to not involve children. This place is using unfortunate children to justify it’s existance they don’t care if that child has a toy it’s not about that they are targeting children here but it’s not for charity.

  • freecheese

    Blago could make a few buck as a MC for such an event. Right up his alley !

  • Walt Campbell

    Do they .sell adult toys in back room of the club? Just in case I forget to swing by Toys R Us on my way to the club.

  • Halucination

    Free toys, but they might glow under a black light

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