By Tim Baffoe-

(CBS) That’s some world-class trolling Sports Illustrated did with the question on this week’s cover above a partially submerged Ray Lewis, deep in prayer to his lord and savior—lawyers and money. The answer to the question is to any rational person, of course, no. With war, famine, disease, Honey Boo Boo (not yet classified as a disease), and celebrity diving shows, I think a football game—even if it is the most religious of American experiences—is not on the front burner of the most powerful being in the universe. God isn’t even American anyway. Canadian, possibly (definitely if Mark Trestman wins a Super Bowl).

I’ll never understand how somebody can believe God finds a scoreboard pertinent or any outcome within any entertainment outlet. To believe that God wants one person or team to succeed means that he essentially wants the others to fail, which would then mean God plays favorites, which means He doesn’t consider all people as equals. I’d like to think God isn’t so petty to care for a person who can run fast or hit a projectile far any more or less than his or her opponents, or any more or less than one good with numbers or words or painting or machinery.

By the way, Buddha likes the Niners with the points.

Weekend. Rock.

Is Te’o duping ND? Who are ND’s investigators, and what haven’t we been told? Could Deadspin missed something on this?—@KenKcx3

Notre Dame hired the forensics firm of Stroz Friedberg to investigate the existence of Lennay Kekua. The school has been public about that since Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick had the initial press conference about Manti Te’o. The one thing I am certain of in this weird situation is that the main parties involved, Te’o and Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, have lied about parts of it already and therefore should be under suspicion regarding anything they say about it all from here on out.

Jack Dickey, Timothy Burke, and the rest of the folks at Deadspin have done an admirable job being meticulous in acquiring information and properly using it for their story. Any journalist can “miss” something, so to speak, but the most responsible persons so far in all this have been the Deadspin guys. They can only work off the information available and then leave Te’o and Tuisasosopo at their respective (flimsy) words unless disproving information becomes available. As of right now Dickey, Burke, and the rest of us can’t be certain what is true or not about the “confessions” of both those guys.

This has become less of a Notre Dame issue, though, in the weeks since the story broke, and I’d be ready to criticize them if it was more so. The school seems to have handled a very unique situation in a legal fashion, and it needs to be remembered that Te’o isn’t part of the Irish football program anymore, nor was he when the story broke. While Notre Dame certainly doesn’t have the cleanest of noses, as of now this is a Te’o problem, not so much a Fighting Irish one.

Pizza Delivery Decorum ? – Should I have to pay for a $13 pie if driver cant give me $4 back because he doesnt have change—@panicstreak

Wait, you want a free pizza because the driver doesn’t have change? That better be a joke.

While a rarity if the driver isn’t an idiot, we do run out of singles if we’re amid a particularly busy run of deliveries. It’s happened a handful of times to me, usually in a situation like so: I have three separate orders in my car. The first two customers both need money back and deplete my store of dollar bills. I get to the third customer, and as Murphy’s Law would have it, that person only has a $100 bill for $11 worth of food.

It is ultimately the driver’s responsibility to have exact change (unless that involves coins—if you want coins back you need to be beaten with a sock full of them), but the driver also isn’t a cash register. We’re not strippers (unless you’re paying extra) teeming with singles. A solution on your part might have been to write check or pay by credit card if that was an option. An extreme option would have been to ask the guy to go make change at the nearest business. Or you could have thought to yourself, “Well, this person did drive a meal to my lazy ass. Maybe seven bucks isn’t too much to ask for me not having to leave the comforts of my own home to acquire sustenance. At least just this once.” In awkward situations with a delivery driver, my advice is always to put yourself in the driver’s shoes (which are probably Van’s) and try to settle it in the easiest way possible. The driver is not out to screw you over (unless you’ve given him prior reason to do so).

But free food? Seriously?

#tfmb is the SEC domination a bad thing for college FB? Not a big fan, but I enjoy close football games. How can other schools pull talent?—@Elkabong34

I wouldn’t say it’s bad for college football if the SEC domination continues. I enjoy watching that conference’s games, and the numbers show I’m like many other viewers. But I’m not sure that it’s a given that the SEC’s recent run of titles will be perpetual. The last seven champs have been from that conference, true, but there was only one from there in the seven prior to those, and LSU won the BCS championship game and was the USA Today/ESPN champ but not the Associated Press champ.

College football isn’t built for parity quite the way the NFL is, but it can have a bit of a cyclical nature to it. We’ve seen Notre Dame, for instance, go from traditional powerhouse to a joke and then back to the National Championship. NCAA violations have had USC ebbing for now, but to assume they won’t be near the top very soon would be nuts. Michigan is not the immediate threat of old, but they’ll never be a Purdue. Oregon has established itself, and Texas and Oklahoma won’t be asleep outside the BCS for long. And then there are many who argue had it not been for violations Ohio State would have been the 2013 champ.

As far as getting the top talent to go away from the Southeast, it all comes down to who can be the dirtiest the quietest. That’s where the game is at. It’s not the feel-good stories of walk-ons or storied histories of legendary programs. It’s getting the biggest and fastest and have a capable coaching staff.

Thanks for emailing, tweeting, and reading. If your question did not get answered this time, that does not necessarily mean I am ignoring it. It may be saved for the next mailbag. Hopefully you’re a slightly better person now than you were ten minutes ago. If not, your loss.

Want your questions answered in a future Mailbag? Email them to or tweet them with the hashtag #TFMB. No question, sports or otherwise, is off limits (with certain logistical exceptions, e.g. lots of naughty words or you type in Portuguese or you solicit my death). If you email, please include a signature.

tim baffoe small Ten Foot Mailbag: God’s Super Bowl Pick

Tim Baffoe

Tim Baffoe attended the University of Iowa and Governors State University and began blogging at The Score after winning the 2011 Pepsi Max Score Search. He enjoys writing things about stuff, but not so much stuff about things. When not writing for, Tim corrupts America’s youth as a high school English teacher and provides a great service to his South Side community delivering pizzas (please tip him and his colleagues well). You can follow Tim’s inappropriate brain droppings on Twitter @Ten_Foot_Midget, but please don’t follow him in real life. E-mail him at To read more of Tim’s blogs click here.

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