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That’s All She Wrote: Wait, Marmol Got A Save?

Carlos Marmol

Carlos Marmol (Photo Credit: Getty Images, By: Otto Greule Jr)

George Ofman George Ofman
George Ofman has been at this for 40 years. Starting at Southern...
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By George Ofman-

(CBS) I can’t believe it. Carlos Marmol got a save.

Of course, several Cubs fans suffered heart attacks while others jumped out basement windows. So let’s set the numbers: two games, 1.1 innings, two runs, three hits, one walk and one hit batter. And Dale Sveum insists nothing has changed: he’s still his closer.

Theo Epstein should immediately package Marmol and Alderman Tom Tunney for a rooftop owner to be named later.

Do you think the Royals would give up Jeremy Guthrie for Marmol? This way, the White Sox would never see him again.

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Tyler Flowers homered in his first two games. He has much to live up to replacing A.J.Pierzynski, but not his crusty personality. A.J. didn’t just grate on the opposition, but some of his own teammates. I really liked the way he played the game. I really disliked everything else about him. And doesn’t just about everyone have the Royals finishing ahead of the Sox?

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Is there any doubt Rutgers did the right thing with the miscreant Mike Rice? Too bad his players weren’t able to extract retribution. I would have allowed them to blindfold Rice, have him stand in the middle of the court and have everyone he humiliated throw basketballs at him. Wait. Better idea. Does Rutgers have a hockey team? Bring him back just for that. And while we’re at it, have Rutgers’ president and athletic director stand there with him.

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Speaking of ADs, did the one at UCLA hear of the term “background check?” All he had to do is read anything about Pierre Pierce. Of course, New Mexico was blind when it hired Alford and actually offered him a ten-year extension before UCLA reeled him in like the poisonous shark he is. Someone asked what John Wooden would have done in the Pierce fiasco. Clearly a lot better than Alford. The Wizard of Westwood is probably trying to kick his way out of the grave just to kick UCLA brass in the ass for this insane decision.

How about putting Alford in the same room with Mike Rice and never let them out? And while we’re at it, throw their bosses in there with them.

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Tom Ricketts wants a 6,000 square-foot jumbotron. Tom Tunney wants more parking. Here’s a compromise: build a 6,000 square foot parking lot behind the left field bleachers. This way no one will be happy. Both Ricketts and Tunney can go into that room with Rice and Alford as well.

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It isn’t all that bad. Can optimism ever get higher than watching Chris Collins charm a room in Evanston? Northwestern could not have made a better choice in hiring Collins, who said his goal is to build a top notch basketball program. I would not bet against him. The only trait of his father I hope he doesn’t have is burnout. Players tune out Doug pretty quickly. Like father, not like son. Otherwise: It’s all good.

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Here’s the latest rumor: Derrick Rose is never coming back!

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The Blackhawks added Michael Handzus. Big deal. Marian Hossa and Patrick Sharp are coming back. Much bigger deal.

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I helped a friend with his home run pool and there was one glaring omission. But there was room for a write-in vote in each league. The write in for the N.L was a no brainier: Anthony Rizzo.

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The Dodgers had the legendary Sandy Koufax throw out the first pitch on Opening Day. Now, go check out this stat: between 1963 and 1966, Koufax won 97 games. 97! And he lost only 27. Over the last four seasons, Justin Verlander won 79.

And that’s all she wrote.

George Ofman is a sports anchor and reporter for WBBM Newsradio 780 & 105.9FM. Look for him on Facebook and find him on Twitter at @georgeofman.