“Fast & Furious 6”
by Michael Walters
The Cantankerous Critic
“Fast & Furious 6″ is just as ludicrously implausible as its predecessors, with only a fraction of Fast Five’s gonzo energy. It turns the international street racers of the earlier films into a cross between the gang from “Mission Impossible” and “The A-Team.” So instead of chasing illegal thrills, they’re chasing international terrorists through the streets of London.
Vin Diesel and his crew are living the high life on the millions they stole in the last movie, when federal agent Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson comes knocking. He reassembles the crew to track down a terrorist bent on launching nuclear war.
Diesel has all the charisma of an engine block, and how he made it onto a movie set in the first place is beyond me. The Rock dangles the prospect of full pardons, and this one contains a surprise twist already revealed in each and every trailer. Michelle Rodriguez is seemingly back from the dead as Diesel’s wife.
“Fast & Furious 6″ must set some kind of record for people jumping out of moving vehicles at high rates of speed, and then landing perfectly on other vehicles traveling on the roadways. It basically becomes a giant pinball machine with The Rock, Diesel, and countless others jumping out of cars, bouncing off pavement, and walking away seemingly without a scratch.
This all culminates in a climax in which Diesel tries to take down a cargo plane with a Land Rover, on a runway that seemingly stretches all the way from London to Dusseldorf.
I can applaud the sheer audacity of it all, but there’s still too much here that insults even a meager intelligence. I’m all for dumb fun, but this is just plain dumb.