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That's All She Wrote: Kaner Gets Champagne Shower

By George Ofman-

(CBS) The Blackhawks and White Sox: a parade of heroes versus a parade of errors.

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Patrick Kane and Aaron Hernandez: A seemingly perfect representative for a team versus a perfect representative for a prison jump suit.

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Not sure whether Kane got sprayed with more water during that routine on the Late Show with David Letterman or champagne during Monday night's celebration.

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Kane acted like a real mench (top notch person in Yiddish) during his Late Show visit. Didn't seem like the same angel with a dirty face who apparently has survived incidents in Buffalo and Madison.

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You and I both know that Conn Smythe Trophy Kane is hauling around belongs to Corey Crawford.

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Once the Hawks won the Cup, crowds gathered around Wrigley Field. Funny, no one milled around U.S. Cellular Field.

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The ice was so bad for Game 6 at Boston; I would have suggested melting it and playing ball hockey instead.

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This just in: The White Sox have committed another error.

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I have this piece of news for the Bulls new draft picks: Patience. Both can shoot the three but if they can't defend well enough they'll collect enough splinters on the bench to make a camp fire.

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A mercy mission granted. Jed Hoyer called Carlos Marmol a distraction upon releasing the erratic reliever. A distraction is an understatement. He was destroying a clubhouse trying to win games. Marmol isn't a bad guy, just a bad pitcher. But some of the blame must fall on Dale Sveum who kept tempting fate by installing Marmol in the closer's role, and when he recently blew a 3-0 lead, that was all she wrote. If the Cubs get anything for Marmol, it will be more than they expected. And please, don't dump the Dan Haren mess into the conversation.

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The Cubs would like Tom Tunney to go away like maybe to Mars. White Sox fans would like to elect him mayor.

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The line for Matt Garza suitors may wend around the block, especially after Thursday effort in Milwaukee. The bosses are desperate to trade him now because he's screwed up several other trade opportunities by getting hurt. By the way, the line for Scott Feldman might get as long as Garza's.

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This just in: another White Sox player has been picked off second base!

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A-Rod tweets he's ready to play and Yankees GM Brian Cashman blurts out, "Shut the #%@#&* up!" Uh, Mr. Cashman, you made a fool of yourself.

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I just finished watching the Mel Brooks biography on PBS and the scene from "Blazing Saddles" when Cleavon Little declares, "Excuse me while I whip this out" remains one of the funniest of all time. And don't forget the farting scene.

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Last one standing and in one piece wins Wimbledon.

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And that's all she wrote.

George Ofman is a sports anchor and reporter for WBBM Newsradio 780 & 105.9FM. Look for him on Facebook and find him on Twitter at @georgeofman.

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