DiCaro: Bears Responsible For Message They Sent To Ray McDonald, Other Players

By Julie DiCaro--

(CBS) -- I said pretty much everything I had to say about the Bears' signing of accused rapist and domestic batterer Ray McDonald back in April. Even after word broke Monday that McDonald had been arrested for domestic violence again, this time for assaulting the mother of his child while she held their two-month old baby, I didn't plan on writing anything, believing my original column spoke for itself.

But the sheer number of tweets (some from Bears fans, some from media) portraying the Bears as wholly innocent in what shall be known as "The Ray McDonald" incident was too much to take. While the Bears' signing of McDonald didn't cause McDonald to commit domestic battery (again), it sent a message to its players and potential victims that they stand firmly behind whatever stories their players choose to tell them.

Though Bears chairman George McCaskey said he didn't believe the team got much backlash for signing McDonald (he must not spend much time online), in reality, the team was heavily criticized, both locally and nationally, for adding McDonald to the roster after speaking to his parents and former coaches, including defensive coordinator Vic Fangio, all of whom vouched for McDonald's character. The team admittedly didn't talk law enforcement or any of McDonald's array of accusers.

McCaskey puzzlingly explained, saying, "An alleged victim, I think -- much like anybody else who has a bias in this situation -- there's a certain amount of discounting in what they have to say."

Perhaps McCaskey now understands that those accused of crimes also have a bias in such a situation, one that compels them to tell the story that most likely will get them signed by a team, whether or not it's the truth. Given that psychologists, attorneys, social workers and advocates spend years learning to understand the dynamics between abusers and their victims, it was the height of arrogance for McCaskey to think he could see into McDonald's soul after a single meeting. Looking back, McCaskey's "assessment" of McDonald is laughable.

"I told him that my assessment was 'bad decision-making,' allowing himself to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or not withdrawing from a situation at the appropriate time," McCaskey said, according to the Tribune. "And I told him, if he's to remain a Bear, that needs to improve. And he pledged to me that it would."

Then again, perhaps McCaskey's evaluation of McDonald makes sense, considering the research that went into it.

"He said, 'If you want, you can talk to my college coach, Urban Meyer, and my position coach from college,'" McCaskey said, per the Tribune. "And after talking to him I said, 'I think I'd like to talk to your parents.' And you need to be careful putting too much stock (in that). What would you expect a parent to say about their adult child? But the thing that impressed me after talking to them was the support system. They go to almost all of his games, even the out of town games. They're there for him. He came from a strong two-parent upbringing, which sad to say isn't all that common anymore these days. And even discounting what a parent had to say, I came away impressed with the support system that he has."

If McCaskey had any education at all in the psychology of domestic violence, he would know that abusers often cultivate a large support system of their own, while systematically dismantling any support system their victim may have had. The inequality in support grows exponentially when the abuser has an NFL franchise at his back.

McDonald reportedly rents the apartment at which he was arrested for the mother of his child and his two-month old child. He allegedly returned to the apartment after a night out with friends and demanded the baby's mother leave, as he wanted to stay in the apartment that night. Where was she to go? McDonald has millions of dollars at his disposal, yet sought to remove the mother of his two-month old from the apartment because he wanted to stay there. When the victim refused to leave, McDonald allegedly assaulted her while she held their baby. As much as cultivating inequality, domestic abuse is about power and control.

Given that McDonald apparently financially supports the victim and his child, don't be surprised if she refuses to cooperate with any prosecution of McDonald. But don't let that lack of prosecution convince you of his innocence as easily as it convinced McCaskey, either.

While the Bears aren't responsible for McDonald's actions, they're directly responsible for the message they sent players throughout the league and victims of domestic violence at the hands of those players. That message said: "We find victims' stories inherently suspect. We will not take your experience into account when evaluating a player. We will continue to be part of the problem with domestic violence in the NFL."

The NFL's supposedly tough stance against domestic violence is meaningless unless the front offices, as well as the players, are held to account for their role in protecting abusers. Cutting McDonald from the team isn't enough. The Bears need to educate themselves and take part in the process of keeping abusers out of the NFL.

Unfortunately, if George McCaskey's past comments are any indication, I won't hold my breath.

Julie DiCaro is a columnist for CBSChicago.com. She's also a former attorney who spent 15 years working on both sides of domestic violence cases. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieDiCaro or on Facebook. The views expressed on this page are those of the author, not CBS Local Chicago or our affiliated television and radio stations.