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Bernstein: A Week In Need Of News

By Dan Bernstein--
CBSChicago.com senior columnist

(CBS) All-Star week means the sports gears grind to a halt, leaving us just standing around and looking at each other while wondering how we can convince some NFL players to light fireworks near and around Chris Berman.

The Cubs are good and White Sox are not, but the latter has the luxury of being in the perfect spot to be really stupid -- a last-place team straining hard enough to imagine itself a contender. Anthony Rizzo and Kris Bryant will take hundreds of unnecessary swings Monday night in the Home Run Derby to debatable effect on anything that matters, while Chris Sale will warm up to pitch an inning for no reason, at an event that according to calculations by Joe Sheehan has now named 76 of MLB's 460 regulars "All-Stars." That's one in six material players, or 16.5 percent of them.

Meanwhile, Fred Hoiberg has "debuted" as Bulls coach in the NBA's Las Vegas Summer League -- a festival of bums and ill-advised conclusions from glorified pickup games, the strip becoming the Boulevard of Broken Plays as we hear of vaguely recognizable names doing things we'd be smart to then forget immediately.

Blackhawks prospect camp. Yay.

So thanks, Aaron Kromer, for beating up a child in a dispute over beach chairs. That helps a bit. Now go get eaten by a shark.

There's always a good chance another Florida State football player will do something newsworthy, but Jimbo Fisher has now banned his pet criminals from area bars, apparently sending the message that their cowardly assaults and other transgressions are better committed at home, so the aftermath can be covered up properly by campus police and the coaching staff. Or so one can assume.

We may have the final verdict soon on the investigation into Tom Brady and the deflated balls and my head hurts and I don't really care and I don't like anybody involved in any of it and I don't remember most of it anyway and it was like months ago and whatever.

Tennis schmennis. Jordan Spieth is very good at golf.

Let's take a nostalgic look back at the 2005 World Series champion White Sox! Actually, let's not.

The great thing about this week in the sports-talk business -- especially the way we do it -- is that we have no earthly idea where it can possibly go. In the next few days, we'll find out along with you in real time.

Dan Bernstein is a co-host of 670 The Score's "Boers and Bernstein Show" in afternoon drive. Follow him on Twitter  @dan_bernstein and read more of his columns here.

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