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25 With Cystic Fibrosis: Stumbling On a Golden Archway

By Rachel Whidden

(CBS) — Being 25 with cystic fibrosis means living on the other side of a barrier from the rest of my peers.

I struggle with copays and financial assistance programs while they deal with student loans and car payments.

I struggle to stay awake to get my treatments done while they're up working on college essays that are due in the morning.

I, at times, need to carefully plan my day around how long my oxygen tanks will last while my friends wing it and make up the day as it goes.

This wall has always been there. But over the years I've always managed to find a few cracks just big enough for my tiny body to squeeze through and join my buddies for a little while.

This week, though, I stumbled on a golden archway with a moving sidewalk and a neon sign saying "come on through!"

The nervous wreck sitting in the waiting room seems to be a distant memory, after a recent appointment showed such big improvement in my lungs that I am now inactive on the transplant list.

THIS IS HUGE!

This means that I'm not jumping when my phone goes off. It means I have more time.

The goal of transplant is to hold off until the exact right moment. Getting lungs too early means unnecessary risk for rejection and infection. But waiting too long means that I could get too sick for the surgery.

I was also cleared to not need oxygen 24/7. This is also a big deal.

I still use it when I sleep and with workouts and heavy activity. But being in the clear to not need it at all times is a relief.

The feeling of going to the store with no stares at the tubes on my face is priceless. Not tripping everyone in my house with my 100 feet of tubing is a relief to them as well.

Since I am now inactive, I also get to leave what I call "The Loyola Zone" -- the distance I was allowed to travel away from my hospital at any given time in case a call for new organs came in.

With this new freedom, plans are already in motion for weekend getaways, visits to my little sister at her college, and mini vacations to anywhere I can go.

The old me is starting to come back to life. There hasn't been a night since my appointment that I didn't go to sleep with a smile on my face, anxious for my plans the next day. The relief of not waiting has lifted a weight on my shoulders that I had been carrying for seven months.

The barrier between my peers and me is still there. But I find a way through it. But it makes me thankful for the break I'm catching now.

Turns out Jake, the ex-boyfriend who is still a big part of my life, is right. I'm strong. I've got this.

The days in waiting rooms with my hands shaking are behind me. Here's hoping it stays that way.

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