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Homeless people! The look so weird... (Credit: JOHN MACDOUGALL/AFP/Getty Images)

Horrible Horoscopes: Cancer

Poor people? What’s the deal. They’re always hungry and stuff. So weird…

10/09/2012

Holy cow! This is blowing my mind! (Credit: STR/AFP/Getty Images)

Horrible Horoscopes: Capricorn

Listen Applebee’s (you’re a Capricorn, right?), we got bigger things to worry about than a woman breastfeeding her kid in your restaurant.

09/28/2012

Geri (Credit: Getty) and Fred (Credit: Frank Micelotta/ImageDirect) a match made in heaven!

Horrible Horoscopes: Leo

I know, Fred Durst, you thought you were at the top of your game when you found an alternative, (dare I say, better?) way of spelling bizkit. And Ginger Spice, you’re probably wondering how you can spice up everyone’s lives any more than you already have! But let’s be honest, your best days are ahead of you, not behind you, guys.

09/25/2012

DON'T TRUST HER, PISCES! (Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Horrible Horoscopes: Pisces

Mason Johnson knows nothing about horoscopes or astrology. Seriously. When he was six, his mom thought it was funny to make him stick his head out the car window and scream, “What’s your sign?” at women walking by. That is the extent of his experience. Also, Mason is an Aquarius… ladies.

09/22/2012