Love
Horrible Horoscopes: Cancer
The stars know where you can find love, Cancer. Somewhere large and indoors. A place of perpetual sales and bright fluorescent lights. They employ your grandfather–a man who put in 40 years at the plant and deserves a break, dammit–as a door greeter making minimum wage. The amount of misery their employees go through is only rivaled by the amount of money you can save by shopping there.
Horrible (Love) Horoscopes: Sagittarius & Capricorn
Capricorn, the stars get it, sometimes you feel like you’re comin’ up a few inches short. It’s natural. You shouldn’t let these fears bother you, particularly when you’re in a relationship with Sagittarius, who will seize any inadequacy festering inside your psyche and use it to bludgeon your soul to a shapeless, disgusting pulp. Imagine bad mayonaise resting sluggishly in a jar. That will be your soul, Capricorn.
Valentine’s Traditions From Around The World
With Valentine’s Day coming up, it can be interesting to learn the different Valentine’s Day traditions that vary with each country. The day that honors love is celebrated in different ways around the globe.
The Wanted Play “What’s That Song” – Part 2
Watch the boys try to guess songs by Christina Aguilera, LMFAO, the Beatles, Barry White, blink-182 and more. And Tom Parker, of course, gets a little bit dirty.
Horrible Horoscopes: Aries
Do you think Thomas Jefferson, Kristen Stewart and Rosie Huntington-Whitely found love by being honest and open?
Horrible Horoscopes: Cancer
Let’s face it, you’re too young to settle. This love, this extreme love, will do nothing but crush you under its weight. You know those old cartoons where an anvil falls on a coyote? It’s like that, but you’re not the Coyote, you’re not even the anvil, you’re like an ant underneath the coyote’s foot.
Horrible (Love) Horoscopes: Leo & Pisces
Pisces, we all know you’d lie (and lay) your mother right into a shallow grave–telling her everything’s going to be alright as you shovel dirt onto her face–if it meant getting ahead in the world. And Leo, you’re no lion – your roar lacks its bite. You might have a great smile and a tender heart, but you couldn’t scare a Middle Eastern bully if your lunch money depended on it…
Horrible Horoscopes: Cancer
Mason Johnson knows nothing about horoscopes or astrology. Seriously. When he was six, his mom thought it was funny to make him stick his head out the car window and scream, “What’s your sign?” at women walking by. That is the extent of his experience. Also, Mason is an Aquarius… ladies.
Screen Stars On The Chicago Stage
TV and film actors often take to the stage to get back to their roots, re-establish cred, or to avoid having to act in lowly commercials in between jobs, and Broadway productions have increasingly looked to Hollywood for ticket-selling star power. Here’s a selection upcoming productions with notable names and familiar faces.
Best Date Spots Off The “L”
The Chicago ‘L’ is the nation’s most romantic transit system. I must get stuck on the wrong train cars. Anyways, I’ve compiled a list of the best date spots near each of the five top mobile love shacks in Chicago. To your love!
Most Popular News
- Roseland Hospital Cuts Staff, Salaries To Keep Doors OpenAs it waits to hear if it’ll receive a $7 million bailout to stay open, Roseland Community Hospital laid off almost 70 employees, and other hospital employees will take a pay cut.89
- Rev. Jackson: School Closings UndemocraticOpponents of Chicago school closures are vowing to fight on, but they appear to have little chance of reversing the mayor's agenda... unless a federal judge steps in, reports WBBM's Mike Krauser.90
- Mount Prospect Man Falls To Death From Albany Park RoofA Mount Prospect man fell to his death from a roof in Albany Park Friday afternoon.113
- 3 Dead, 8 Hurt In Shootings Since Friday NightThe most recent fatal shooting happened about 1:50 a.m. Saturday in the Hyde Park community, roughly half a mile from President Barack Obama’s home in neighboring Kenwood.198
- Some People You Should Know: The MelodeersIt all began when barbershop patrons started singing while waiting to get their hair cut. A century or so later, the Melodeers chorus is taking the music to a dazzling new height with 140 ladies singing in unaccompanied four-part harmony. CBS 2's Harry Porterfield reports.155
- Mother Of Student Pushed Down School Stairs ‘Enraged’ At Security GuardNew video surfaced Friday that appears to show sophomore Lauren Goodlow being pushed by a male security guard. CBS 2's Dorothy Tucker reports.329
Contests & Promotions
- Benjamin Moore Which Team Colors Matter Most? May 24, 2013Which Team Colors matter most to you? Either way, you could be a winner! Just sign up now for a chance to win $500 Depot Dollars to the Chicago Sports Depot to pick up some gear with your favorite team colors as they battle it out this week!
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- Meet Jim Rome On Set In Los Angeles May 20, 2013AutoZone and the Jim Rome Show are giving one winner and a guest a trip to meet Jim Rome in Los Angeles on the set of his Showtime television show! Enter for your chance to win!
Twitter Updates
- Roseland Hospital cuts staff, salaries to keep doors open cbsloc.al/10rLkuW 2 hours ago
- 3 killed & 8 others were wounded in shootings across Chicago since Friday evening. cbsloc.al/10r9XYS 3 hours ago
