Horrible Horoscopes: AquariusIt’s tough when your fellow football players pick on you in the locker room, asking, “Why don’t we ever see ya with any girls, Aquarius? Huh? Are you afraid of them? Hey guys, look! Aquarius is afraid of girls! Aquarius is afraid of commitment! Look at Aquarius, refusing to settle down and move forward with his life! Let’s whip him with towels, then go watch Varsity Blues and Rudy before crying in the hot tub together!”
Police: Woman Made Up Story Of Crystal Lake AttackA woman could be in big trouble after Crystal Lake police say she made up a story about being attacked in an alley in the northwest suburb.