CBS 2 Chicago wbbm7801059 670 The Score

Moon

Take a cue from King Pisces Chuck Norris and learn how to be a decent human being (and how to round house kick). (Credit: Newsmakers)

Horrible Horoscopes: Pisces

Is good fortune coming your way? Is the love of your life right in front of your eyes? How do your job prospects look? Is that rash on your unmentionables ever going to clear up?

02/04/2013

Sorry, Buzz. The Moon's just old and grumpy. (Credit: Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Horrible Horoscopes: Leo

So stop blaming the full moon every time you do something stupid. Also, if you see Buzz Aldrin, tell him the Moon thinks he’s a jerk.

11/30/2012

The Moon doesn't usually make it to the Pride Parade, but he supports it. (credit: B96 Chicago)

Horrible Horoscopes: Taurus

The Moon feels it’s a monumental waste of time to oppose gay marriage, and doesn’t quite understand why the country of the “free” can’t just, you know, ALLOW EVERYONE THE SAME RIGHTS…

09/24/2012