Ok team! A couple pieces of news happened in Washington recently, and for the love of all things holy we can’t understand either one. So today, we’re going to do a comprehensive study of both RG3’s crippling knee injury and the recent Fiscal Cliff deal, and try to see which of the two is set to have a more devastating effect on Washington DC.
Tale of the tape
RG3′s Knee Vs. The Fiscal Cliff: Which Wintertime Disaster Will Screw Washington Longer?
|According to CBSSports.com, "a direct repair" of the lateral collateral ligament and "a re-do of [Griffin's] previous ACL reconstruction."||Wait, wait, wait. What happened?!||Per Forbes, “[T]he current 10/15/25/28/33/35% individual tax rate brackets [will revert] to the pre-2001 rates of 15/28/31/36/39.6%."|
|The most exciting player in the NFL shredded his leg.||I see. In English?||Your taxes are going up something fierce.|
|Well, let's be honest. It's the Washington Redskins. They had something like this coming to them sooner or later.||AUGH! NO! What!? Why?!||I don't...know. I don't think anyone knows. It was a bunch of people on both sides fighting and now we have a deal that nobody's really happy with, and everyone's paying more money.|
|A lot of people seem to think Mike Shanahan waited a little too long to pull RG3 out of the game.||WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!||A lot of people think that John Boehner waited a little too long to...heh...heh heh..."Boehner."|
|Long term? RG3 will be fine. He's expected to make a full recovery.||So what are the long term implications?||Hell if I know. But it sounds like the deficit will reduce, so...it's better?|
|If RG3's recovery is delayed, you're stuck with the respectable - but severely non-thrilling - Kirk Cousins.||And the short term implications?||You have less money to drink your face off at Kirk Cousin-led games.|
We'll just call it a tie
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