CBS 2 Chicago wbbm7801059 670 The Score

Tale of the tape

Tale Of The Tape: NHL Negotiations Vs. A Bad Date

With the NHL lockout leading to the cancellation of more and more of the hockey season, the negotiations of commissioner Gary Bettman between the players union and team owners are looking less like a labor dispute with sports professionals and more like a bad date with someone your parents introduced you to. Are these contract disputes truly better or worse than your worst dating experience? Let’s take a look at the facts.

NHL Media Availability 123217065

NHL Negotiations

Bad Dates

Locks you out of your workplace for months with security guards at the ready. Being Stood Up Leaves you drinking water and eating table bread at a restaurant for over an hour before letting you know they can’t make it.
People who look like your grandfather with way too much make-up on and nothing like someone who had ever picked up a hockey stick. Who's Involved Someone who looks like your grandfather with way too much make-up on and nothing like that online personal you replied to.
Undisclosed locations that sound like dingy basements with blood-spattered walls and one fluorescent light bulb in the middle. Meeting Point A self-help seminar on how to trust people again after your parents put your dog to sleep and tell you he ran away.
Talks about money in a way only accountants and financial analysts can understand. Conversations Talks about money in a way only accountants and financial analysts would, as far as they know.
Abruptly breaks off talks and doesn’t speak to the other party for a week. Possible 2nd Date? Runs crying from the restaurant and calls you up a week later to tell you, “we should do this again.”
More action and drama than the NHL has had as a sport in years. Outsider Perspective Hilarious to everyone involved except the two people on the actual date.

More Tales of the tape

  1. (Photo Credit: Getty Images/Richard Heathcote) (Photo Credit: Getty Images/Warren Little)
    Tale Of The Tape: Winter Olympics In Sochi Vs. FIFA World Cup In Brazil

    With both sites having their share of issues in hosting major international sporting events, we went to the tape to decide who was the worst host of 2014.

  2. U.S. soccer coach Jurgen Klinsmann. (Getty Images) Netherlands v Germany - Group B: UEFA EURO 2012
    Should U.S. Play For Win Or Tie Against Germany?

    Both Team USA and Germany can advance to the knockout stage of the World Cup if they tie Thursday’s match against one another. For either side — more notably, the U.S., because of its lesser [...]

  3. LeBron James in 2009 with Cleveland. (Getty Images) LeBron James (Photo Credit: Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: LeBron James Decision 1 Vs. Decision 2

    Let’s compare LeBron James’ first decision to leave the Cavs to his decision to opt out with the Heat.

See all Tales of the Tape