February, the month of love!
Well I hate love. It’s terrible. Like a puppy, but instead of cute, it’s hair-less and blind with creepy, milk-colored eyes. All it does is poop in the corner. It doesn’t know any better, but it still angers you.
And that’s why the events listed here will have nothing to do with love, or Valentine’s Day, or anything even remotely romantic. So there.
February 1st: So You Think You Have Nerves Of Steel?
The Empty Bottle
Nerves of Steel tends to be a nice, healthy mix of great music with funny writers. House band Good Evening is absolutely lovely, which means you might want to cover your ears. Seriously, you’ll enjoy their somber–in a fun way–music stylings and want to fall in love. That is against the very theme of this article though. So don’t. No matter how nice Weston Rose and Alyssa Martinez might sound in your ears.
Other performers of the night include Bob Rok, Chris Bower, Ling Ma, and Daniel Shapiro. I can personally attest that any loveliness caused by Good Evening will be instantly undone by the likes of Chris Bower and Daniel Shapiro, who are vile in the funniest ways, and not worth missing.
All of this is hosted by Harold Ray, who is not special in any way whatsoever. Everyone else is great though!
February 3rd: Punk Rock Karaoke Zine Fest Benefit
Do you ever attempt to sing Clash songs in the shower, befuddled by Joe Strummer’s nigh-incomprehensible, British slurring? Well, get out of the shower, ya clean freak (punks don’t shower!), and get your butt to Punk Rock Karaoke! The greatest part about punk is that it’s devoid of any real love. Even pop punk’s love-inspired choruses (complete with energetic clapping) are too pointless to be emotionally genuine. That’s why I love it!
This event is in support of Chicago Zine Fest (taking place March 9th & 10th). It’s fitting that a punk rock event, even one as kitschy as karaoke, would be in support of a DIY festival that produces some great work.
Also, I hear the hosts are hot.
February 14th: Chicago Reader’s Anti-Valentine’s Day Party
Logan Square Auditorium
The Chicago Reader’s back with their Anti-Valentine’s Day Reading – something I can really get behind. That’s the spirit!
They’ll have plenty of entertainment: pro storytellers 2nd Story will leave you both bitter (about love) and entertained; Windy City Rollers will be there to keep everyone in line; and you’ll hear some great, dark music from the all-girl goth band Black Belles. So check it out!
Heartless Bastards and Smith Westerns
When I need a good show to get my mind off of the detestable aspects of life (like romance), I tend to check out WXRT. They know what’s going on in this city, and tend to have some decent shows featured on their events page.
Or you can check out Heartless Bastards on February 14th (what a perfect day to see a band named Heartless Bastards). If you love garage rock, you’ll love them. It’s not like you got anything better to do on February 14th.
February 12th: Van Halen
Accompanied by Kool And The Gang, Van Halen plans on ripping up Chicago with their unique brand of hair-glam-rock.
Who else is excited? With David Lee Roth (or, as I call him, David Lee ROCK), they’re absolutely unbeatable. Don’t forget to check them out, hopefully in their classic pink spandex, at the United Center!