By Mason Johnson
I don’t really want to be writing this. I’d rather be doing something else.
BUT THERE’S NOTHING ELSE GOING ON.
Right now, Thursday morning, there are no cool bands playing or comedy shows I want to see. No readings or movie premiers. There’s nothing. Just me and my cubicle and my desk. The only decoration in my cubicle is a laser-printed certificate stating I passed the “Business Conduct Statement” CBS has its employees take. I’m proud of that certificate. Hence me hanging it up in my cubicle. I can’t stare at that certificate — subsisting on the warm, fuzzy pride it pours into my soul — the whole day! I gotta do something. I’ve got two options: cleanup my desk, or write this article.
So here ya go! Five events I wish were happening now, but are actually happening in the future — in March to be specific. You should go to them.
Dark of the Male Light of the Female: Women Writing About Horrible Things VI
2630 N. Milwaukee Ave.
Chicago, Il 60647
Remember the shower scene in Pscyho? Dark of the Male Light of the Female is like that, but the killer is a woman, the background music is more urgent, and the scene is far creepier. A little weird, a little dark, a bit awkward; this show is special. Surprisingly it all works together to make a fun time. Run by Meghan Lamb, whose personality fits the same characteristics as this reading, Dark of the Male Light of the Female is definitely worth checking out. Despite it’s creepy oeuvre, the show provides a wide range of fiction and poetry that’ll please all kinds of tastes. Plus, Uncharted Books is a great, cozy used bookstore you have to check out.
Performers for March 2nd: Kathleen Rooney, Tovah Burstein, Olivia Lilley, Tim Jones-Yelvington, Caroline Picard, Jamie Kazay, and Hillary Stone.
The Sweats and Basketball at The Whistler
The Sweats are fun, funky and poppy in a 60s & 70s kinda way. This is the kind of band that shines bright live, so go see ‘em live at the Whistler. For those of you into fancy schmancy drinks, the Whistler serves some of the best cocktails in the city. Personally, I’m more of a drink-bourbon-straight-from-a-barrel-on-the-side-of-the-road kinda guy, but I can appreciate a good cocktail.
Chicago Zine Fest
It’s free and it’s hip! Do you like words? Do you like interesting people? Do you like art? Regardless, you should go to Chicago Zine Fest. It’s two days of great panels from creative types and awesome people behind tables showing you the cool little zines and books they’ve made, often by hand. It’s kind of like reading tumblr blogs, except interesting and not on the Internet. Let’s be honest, you spend a little too much time on the Internet. You could use a break. Go to Chicago Zine Fest.
Shoplifting From American Apparel Chicago Film Premiere
Shoplifting From American Apparel is a docudramedy that’s as boring as your life, but with better production value and talent. Based on the novella that’s also as boring as your life, but with more literary talent, it’s definitely worth seeing. It looks funny and weird and there’s even a great reading after. Plus, The Logan Theatre is pretty awesome. For those who haven’t been there in a few years, they got rid of the rats, fixed the ventilation so it doesn’t smell like pee, remodeled to make it look classy and added a bar. I would have settled for just the bar, but good for them for going above and beyond.
Here’s the thing: you need to buy tickets beforehand. If they don’t sell enough tickets beforehand, the movie won’t show. So buy tickets now if you want to go.
Check out the trailer:
They Might Be Giants
You’re a nerd, I’m a nerd, let’s just go see They Might Be Giants already. We can sing “Birdhouse In Your Soul” together.
Have you seen their Chumbawumba cover? So great.
Wow. I feel like I should apologize for the fact that most of these events are in Logan Square. Well, I’m not. If you have cool events in other neighborhoods, mention them in the comments, and maybe I’ll show up (or add them to our events section). I like cool events.
Also, for those who need more than five events to keep themselves busy, here’s a list of other great events going on…
Here’s the Story
Two Cookie Minimum
RUI: Reading Under the Influence “Madness”
NAP in Chicago
Seven Deadly Sins…
Ray’s Tap Reading Series: Manners Please
Guts & Glory