Cure For Boredom: March’s Events

February 28, 2012 2:00 PM

(credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images for AG Adriano Goldschmied)

by Mason Johnson

The month of February has been a miserable one. For me at least. Maybe for you too? I’ve spent my time indoors, the lights dim, afraid to go outside. Why? There is simply too much to do in this city. Chicago, the sprawling, wondrous monster that it is, has too much culture, too much going on, too much fun.

Or maybe I’m just a big loser.

Since the problem seemed to be a matter of not knowing what to do, of coming home every night and being besieged with too many choices, I’ve come up with a plan. The plan is to plan. To look at March’s offerings and to decide what to do in advance. To pick out the best of the best, and stride to these events confidently!

I will leave the house this month. I swear.

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(credit: Chicago Zine Fest)

March 9th & 10th

CBS Event Page

Chicago Zine Fest is back, ready to celebrate the written word through the do-it-yourself ethos. This may come as a surprise to you, seeing as how I’m barely literate, but I love words. Love ’em. And will be at this.

Zine Fest is spread out amongst two days (like a fine slathering of cosmically tasty Nutella); on the 9th is a slurry of readings and events, and the 10th offers zine exhibition to the general masses. I’m particularly excited about “Silver Tongue Presents: Gender, Race and Sexuality: A Discussion with Women in Self-Publishing (with Cristy Road, Mimi Thi Nguyen and Anne Elizabeth Moore).” (Yeah, I know, a real mouthful.) Not only is it a good way to celebrate Women’s History Month (high five!), but I’m genuinely interested to hear what these ladies have to say about women, how they’re viewed in the publishing world, and how this view changes throughout the world. I wouldn’t miss zine exhibition on the 10th either; it’s the entire point of the whole she-bang. And for good reason, nothing’s nicer than walking from table to table and seeing the product of so many hard working people who are essentially just like you.

It’s nice.

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Seth Dodson and Kellen Alexander, NEDtalks hosts.

March 16th

CBS Event Page

TEDTalks are great and everything, but they’re exhausting. Not to mention offensive to my intelligence. I can only take the drivel of people smarter than me for so long.

That’s why Nedtalks is so great. Hosts Kellen Alexander and Seth Dodson, a stupid-in-a-very-funny-way comedic duo, cut through the pretension and intelligence TEDTalks promotes to give you raw, unbridled comedy. If you go, plan on not learning a darn thing. In fact, plan on leaving with less.

So if you want to see something funny and have a good time, go to this.

Helping Kellen and Seth out on the 16th are Steve Waltien, Ross Bryant, James Kennedy, and Christina Boucher!

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(credit: Frank Polich/Getty Images)

March 17th

Saint Patrick’s Day Parade

There are two ways you can “do” Saint Patrick’s Day:

1. You can pretend it doesn’t exist. This will ensure that you walk around angry and bitter all day, dodging drunks in green shirts as you walk to the store, feeling like the only person in Chicago who isn’t in on a funny joke.

2. You can give in, and celebrate that darn thing. And, you know, have fun.

Usually, I go with the angry and bitter approach, but this year, I’m gonna try and enjoy it. Like a real person, or something. And, let’s face it, the parade, green river twinkling in your eyes, is pretty fun. So hop, skip, or stride (but don’t walk, nobody walks anymore, soooo uncool) over to Balbo & Columbus on March 17th. Also, you might be glad to hear that Chicago’s South Side Irish St. Patrick’s Day Parade is back, read about it here.

If you’re looking for someone to celebrate the parade there, B96 will be present, so why not keep a look out for them?

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(credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images for AG Adriano Goldschmied)

March 19th

CBS Event Page

Blues and beat inspired rockers The Black Keys are playing what will undoubtedly be a great show with indie funsters Arctic Monkeys. Yeah, funsters, it’s a word I just made up. Because I think the Arctic Monkey aren’t only good, but fun. So there.

93XRT was nice enough to write us twenty-five interesting facts about The Black Keys (with pictures!) in preparation for this show, so read up. Unfortunately, none of the facts detail whether they prefer boxers, briefs, or some sort of hybrid (what? I’m curious). Still, you should take a look.

There ya go, four events to attend. You got music, words, comedy, and drunken parades. What else do you want from me?

If by chance I did miss something awesome (well, I missed many things, I realize this, but still…), and you want me to know about this awesome thing, feel free to email me at

Mason Johnson, CBS Chicago

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