–No, I shouldn’t go on. What I was about to say would have been inappropriate. I would have felt bad. Horrible. The guilt would have eaten me up. Anyways, I’m glad I didn’t say it. And, you know what? I’m going to help you out. If you need to prepare for Halloween quick, then fear not, I’ve got everything you need right here!
You need a costume. Don’t try to wimp out. I swear, if you just wear a hoodie and some aviator sunglasses and say that you’re the “Unabomber,” I will hurt you. That is not an acceptable costume. What are acceptable costume ideas? Well I’m glad you asked! You can find some great ideas right here in our 2011 Halloween Costume Ideas article. Even if you don’t go with one of the recommendations there, it just might give you some ideas.
We’ve got an article for those of you brave enough to have kids. If you can’t quite decide on what to dress your brood in, just check out our Top Halloween Costumes For Kids article.
Yes, we’ve even got an article for those of you who prefer your dog over the idea of having children. For those of you wondering what to dress Lassie up as, check out our Best Halloween Costumes For Dogs article. Dressing your dog up is a sure way to make them hate you, but who cares as long as they look cute.
So you know what you’re gonna be, but where the heck will you find all of this? We can answer this. We’ve done the research. We’ve labored for you, finding the best Chicago costume shops so you wouldn’t have to. Yeah. You can thank us later.
The last time I was at a haunted house I cried. A lot. It’s not like I was twenty-eight when it happened, I was only seven, so it’s somewhat excusable, but still embarrassing. A man had come out from a hidden corner as we walked through brandishing a chainsaw. When you turned to run out of the room, men in masks jumped in the doorway, blocking the way. This is when the water works came in, tears and snot and spittle all flying out of my face.
But! I did punch one of the men in the family jewels. That is at least moderately redeeming.
I haven’t been in a haunted house since. They’re not for me. They might be for you though. If you’re into haunted houses, then you definitely have to check out our Best Haunted Houses article. All kinds of haunted houses are covered, from shops that’ll scare the pants right off of you, to great ones suitable for kids.
If trick-or-treating and haunted houses aren’t enough for you, then check out these other activities. We wouldn’t want you getting bored – you always do really weird thing when you’re bored. Weirdo.
Carving Jack-O-Lanterns is fun, but where o where do you get the supplies? Worry not, we’ve saved your butt yet again, buddy. Check out this list of awesome pumpkin patches that should give you the chance to find the perfect pumpkin for your creation. And for those of you short on ideas, check out our Festive Jack-O-Lantern photo gallery, which is sure to inspire.
Personally, I like to carve my Jack-O-Lanterns in the likeness of past political figures. But, you know, not everyone can be as cool as me.
If you are child-less, an adult and want to go trick-or-treating, then good for you. That’s fine. I’m not going to judge.
You might get yourself in a pickle though. So think it through thoroughly before you start goin’ door to door without a kid.
For those of you with kids that might need a little trick-or-treating help, we wrote an article for you! Our guide to trick-or-treating should have all the tips you’ll need to take your children out for a good time on October 31st.
Listen, kids are crazy, I know this, I’ve seen them when I go out in public. They’re just… insane. And you need to keep them busy. So here’s a list of some more activities to keep them busy. Don’t say I never gave ya anything.
This article details five awesome activities you can do with the children. From theatre to park district fun.
This family fun Halloween guide lists more activities to barrage your kids with, creating a whole host of fun your family can have in Chicago.
The guide to the North park village nature center has all the wilderness fun your kids will be able to stand. Don’t worry, it’s okay to pull them away from their Segas and Nintendos once in awhile.
And there you have it. Halloween fun for everyone, yes, even you. And, most of all, me. If you’re still craving more Halloween article to read, you can always check out our Halloween Headquarters page, which has more Halloween information than you could ever conceivably need. We like to go overboard, especially with the things we love.