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Horrible Horoscopes: Capricorn

November 5, 2012 2:00 PM

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NO NOT MY GLASSES! (Credit: Judas Preist / Youtube)

NO NOT MY GLASSES! (Credit: Judas Preist / Youtube)

screen shot 2012 11 05 at 11 08 41 am Horrible Horoscopes: Capricorn

NO NOT MY GLASSES! (Credit: Judas Preist / Youtube)

By Mason Johnson

Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry). Not your sign? Find more Horrible Horoscopes here.

Capricorn

Capricorn, no laws can hold you. And why should they? You’re [expletive]!

Jaywalking? That’s kids play for you. You’d break any law if you felt like it. You’d park in a no parking zone, go over the speed limit, litter… IN A PARK. Why! You’d probably even skip jury duty.

You make my skin crawl…

Don’t change, Capricorn. Not ever.



Horrible Horoscopes is updated Monday through Friday. Find the latest Horrible Horoscopes here!

Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology! He does know how to play Breakin’ the Law on his guitar though, so if you’re interested in starting a cover band, let him know.

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