By Mason Johnson
Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry). Not your sign? Find more Horrible Horoscopes here.
Capricorn, no laws can hold you. And why should they? You’re [expletive]!
You make my skin crawl…
Don’t change, Capricorn. Not ever.
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Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology! He does know how to play Breakin’ the Law on his guitar though, so if you’re interested in starting a cover band, let him know.