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Horrible Horoscopes: Pisces

March 26, 2013 2:00 PM

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Keep tryin', buddy. You'll reach your nose with that tongue someday. (Credit: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Keep tryin’, buddy. You’ll reach your nose with that tongue someday. (Credit: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

By Mason Johnson

Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry). Not your sign? Find more Horrible Horoscopes here.

Keep tryin', buddy. You'll reach your nose with that tongue someday. (Credit: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Keep tryin’, buddy. You’ll reach your nose with that tongue someday. (Credit: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Pisces

What’s the “golden rule,” Pisces?

No, it’s not “blame the cat for your farts.”

It’s simple: “Treat people the way you want to be treated.”

Do you want to be treated like a second-class citizen, Pisces? Would you like to be discriminated against because of your sexual preference? Would you like to be told by the government that you can’t marry the person you love?

No?

Then don’t treat others that way.

It’s not too late, you know! You can still make the right decision – the decision to treat everyone with respect. It’s what the stars think you should do. It’s what the Moon wants.

Now is not the time for cowardice.

Seriously, Pisces, do the right thing, and the Moon just might buy you a drink at Berlin tomorrow night. If that doesn’t convince you, nothing will.

Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology, but he can tell right from wrong when it comes to equality. Follow his extremely inappropriate and unintelligent twitter here.

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