By Mason Johnson
Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry). Not your sign? Find more Horrible Horoscopes here.
Aries & Pisces
Look, guys, you’re a great couple. Aries and Pisces! You just go together really well. Like peanut butter and jelly. Like salami and mayonnaise. Like fried chicken nuggets on top of cheap mall pizza.
Who’s hungry for love? I know I am!
Aries, your fierce nature makes you the perfect mate for the sensitive Pisces. In terms of pop culture, Aries is Patrick Swayze and Pisces is Jennifer Grey. I mean, look at this electricity:
That’s totally you guys!
Only one thing can ruin your relationship: social media. Communicating effectively is hard enough in person, when you throw the internet—filled with photos of cats with bad grammar and Dirty Dancing clips that make it impossible to get work done—into the mix, things might get rough. An errant tweet or petty fight over your facebook relationship status could make everything you’ve built crumble faster than Jennifer Grey’s career.
So please. Watch what you say on Twitter.
And at award shows.
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Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology and realizes that pole dancing has become a popular and respectable pastime and workout regime. Follow his extremely inappropriate and unintelligent twitter here.