(CBS) After abruptly leaving the Cubs Friday night and threatening to retire, Carlos Zambrano finally surfaced Monday and explained his actions in an interview with David Kaplan on Chicago Tribune Live.

“I am feeling much better, and it is sad what happened,” he said. “I did want to retire, I feel bad with myself, not with the Cubs, not with the organization. I feel bad with me, with the performance, with what I am doing or was doing in the season, it’s frustrating.  It’s frustrating every time I go to the mound and I give up eight runs.  It’s not me, and I want to do my best.”

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The interview aired during Monday evening’s episode of Chicago Tribune Live on Comcast Sports Net.

Here are other excerpts of the interview released by CSN in advance of the interview’s airing:

On possibility of leaving the Cubs organization:
“The organization is great.  I’ve been with the Cubs for 14 years.  They’ve been great to me.  The fans have been great to me.  Nothing to complain, I’ve made some mistakes, yes.

“The Cubs have been to me like my family.  The organization is my family.  I’ve seen people come and go and I’m still there.  I want to keep pitching for the Cubs.  It was a moment of frustration Friday night, and I pitched so bad I wanted to retire, you know, I don’t want to be making 18 million and pitch like crap.”

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On interaction with Alfonso Soriano on Friday/throwing at Chipper Jones:
“No no, he (Soriano) came to me so nice, Alfonso is a great person.  He came to me and said what I did was wrong trying to hit Chipper.

“Why would I be hitting Chipper that night?  Chipper is the main guy on the Braves, and I threw some curves inside because I wanted to get them to extend their arms because they were too comfortable.  I have to pitch inside, and the pitch was a cutter.  If I want to hit someone, I hit him.  I think I have good target when I want to hit someone.  And (Jim) Edmonds can talk about that. When I want to him someone, I hit them.”

On who he’s spoken to on the team since Friday night:
“I have to talked to Marlon (Byrd), Carlos Pena and Soriano, but nobody else.”

On his relationship with Cubs manager Mike Quade:
“Relationship with Quade was good, that’s a question you have to ask individually.  My relationship with Mike was good.  Of course, some of the decisions he made while I was pitching I don’t mind, but he is the manager.  He has the right to do whatever move he wants.”

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On what he has to say to the fans:
“Some of them aren’t fans of Carlos Zambrano, some of them are.  I’m not the greatest person in the world.  I just want to say to them that I apologize for any incidents. I have not been pitching to the fans like they have expected and I apologize for that.  I want them to understand I was frustrated because that was not me.  I take pride in what I do.”