By Tim Baffoe-

(CBS) Turds float to the top, and with a big news story like that of the two high school football players from a town that invests a lot of pride in its high school football, perhaps inordinately so, accused of sexually assaulting an intoxicated girl, boy, do you get some extra ripe steaming floaters voicing their vile opinions. One of the more galling byproducts of this unfortunate situation is that it’s exposing a significant number of people that either do not understand what sexual assault is or believe there are acceptable levels of it.

And this is a sports story, you WRITE ABOUT SPROTS people. It’s as much a sports story as the Jerry Sandusky one because the deification of sports and athletes and coaches has become a vehicle for disgusting behavior to occur and inappropriate reactions—particularly going out of the way to ensure all the cracks in the false idols are properly spackled—to become almost the norm.

It bothers me deeply when I hear an attempt to justify or qualify rape of any kind—take this genius who tried to play semantics and failed miserably—and what bothers me more is the volume in which such defenses are made in our culture. We indeed live amid a culture of rape, and the very reason such a culture exists is because many of you who read this sentence initially responded “What the hell are you talking about?” There’s an ignorance and naïveté toward what uncalled-for sexual advances are, and music, TV, movies, and advertising play their part in fostering that, because the biggest culprit is pretending it all doesn’t exist. In case I still need some ethos for my argument, read what the underappreciated Henry Rollins wrote about all this.

I refuse to be part of the comfortable group of ignorant. So, besides not raping people, I’d like to do my small part by making fun of some idiots that think stuff like this is okay on various levels. Kudos to the blog Public Shaming for gathering all of the following tweets (most have since been deleted by their awful authors).

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Remember, kids, if you want to piss away a future career in radio, go down in flames with some thoroughly unsympathetic misogyny! Actually, I shouldn’t rush to such a conclusion. He might still be well-cut-out for a certain sports media monolith.

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It’s as though Tyler Durden and Beaker from The Muppets had a baby in a fumigation tent. Biased results? Stupid anti-rape activist judge!

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Between the time this case started and now, I was able to take solace in one thing—most people are not sexual predators, including overly-hormonal high school boys. When discussing this case with my students, almost all the boys responded with bewilderment as to why anybody would want to do such things to a girl. That makes me feel ever so slightly confident that idiots like this can be combated.

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Scrutiny became more intense when a video surfaced showing some Ohio teens laughing hysterically about the incident, referring to the girl as so drunk she seemed ‘dead,’ and discussing how she was apparently carried from party to party, vomiting all the while.

The witness reportedly said her shirt was covered in vomit and that she’d been asked to leave the party because she threw up.”

What “truth” is the valiant truthwatcher watching? Is it the “truth” that people who don’t share his political beliefs unfairly painted people like him as women-haters? So unfounded. Or maybe the “truth” that asinine theories about a lower likelihood of pregnancy from rape should be taken seriously? This is fairly understandable as his medication seems to either be absent or not working.

Unfortunately for truthwatcher only four people and two spam accounts have signed on to hear the truth via Twitter. People would much rather put their heads in the sand, I guess. Ain’t that always the truth?

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Finally a clear-cut, non mealymouthed, good ol’ fashioned victim blame. Jake says on his other Twitter account, @JVJustChillin (PRO TIP: trill boys have multiple accounts—get with it), that he tweeted before reading the whole story. Because what intelligent person hasn’t just assumed it’s the victim’s fault without trying to learn about the case? Hopefully Jake writes a rap song really soon about how much his haters are hating on his flow.

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Agreed. Ever been in a bar and some dame thinks it’s Karaoke Night when clearly today is Thursday and not Tuesday LIKE THE SIGN NEAR THE DOOR SAYS. I don’t care if you’re drunk; I did not come here to hear your version of “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” even if that song is a total jam. On Tuesday, I will come to hear you sing that song. Tonight is Trivia Night, and you’re making the Geography category difficult to hear. BE AWARE OF YOU’RE SURROUNDINGS AND STOP SINGING AND GETTING RAPED. Gosh. For real. So inconsiderate.

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This woman is a former volleyball player for the University of Tennessee. In 2011 she was nominated for the Lowe’s Senior CLASS Award, in part due to having been “involved in numerous community service projects, most recently helping with Habitat for Humanity” where she presumably built homes for drunks who did not ruin innocent lives. “She also works with those in assisted living twice a week” telling the people she works with that they need to be responsible for the aging process instead of ruining their middle-aged kids’ lives, “and she has also given volleyball lessons to girls in surrounding Knoxville schools,” likely teaching them how to be responsible for their actions that might otherwise get them raped.

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Don’t know about you, but I like to get my reality from a Twitter account that promotes his belief in horoscopes.

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Here are some other things you should avoid if you don’t want to get raped:

  • spraying yourself with Big Ben’s Rapist Attractor (now in teriyaki jerky scent) before heading out
  • traveling to Rapeville, Delaware
  • reading Alexander Pope’s “The Rape of the Lock”

And here are some things you should do if you encounter someone who is “blackout drunk”:

  • Don’t rape that person

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The great thing about stupid people is that they usually spread their stupid around. Take this young lady, Kenni Shane. She was kind enough to make videos of herself so that we could put a face to her rape apologist tweet. Her racist tweets, too! What would you expect from such a die-hard fan of country Rick Astley with a song promoting “Friday night football is king.”

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Is the beer in your hand in your profile picture responsible for that mustache? Hey, at least you’re teaching your young son to respect women by criticizing them after they’ve been sexually assaulted.

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The same day it tweeted the above, this thing tweeted “I was raised to not make fun of how ppl looked because your making fun of Gods creation…so i opt out of cyber picture bullying.” Cyber rape bullying—totally okayed by God, though.

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That is, homegirl, unless you have swag.

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As any rape victim will tell you, though, his or her life was hardly screwed up afterward. Ms. Kuron took a lot of heat after her tweets, and I feel for her. Let me get my violin

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You know what the proper repercussion for being drunk is? Hangovers, you massively dumb waste of organs. Hangovers and dreading your Facebook notifications the next day. Rape is not a justified repercussion for anything. Ever. And if someone were unfortunately to be sexually assaulted after doing anything (or having something done to him/her)—no matter how subjectively wrong it was—I’d say sexual assault amounts to cruel and unusual repercussion. Adding an underage drinking misdemeanor would satisfy your lust for justice, though.

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I learned from the public response to this case that passing out from drinking is whore or slutty behavior. How many of you are surrounded by whores at Thanksgiving, eh?

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Mr. Crook is what interneters call a “griefer,” so he’s long deserved to be covered in Kool-Aid and fire ants.  He also is apparently a bigoted pedophile who now has to destroy much of his Internet presence and history because he angered some people affiliated with the infamous hacking group Anonymous. But I will remember Crook most as loveable Mediterranean stereotype Balki Bartokomous on the ABC sitcom Perfect Strangers.

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Remember that “stupid spreads itself around” stuff I was talking about earlier? Well

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I don’t know how I feel about you posting pictures of giraffes to hypocritically represent what you claim is a night consuming 20 shots of alcohol. I’m not saying you asked to be a dumb college chick who contributes to a negative stereotype of your peers, but why do you seem to work so hard at it?

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Immediately after the two defendants were found guilty, CNN began lamenting how tragic all this was for the two boys. Aaaaaaand scene.

tim baffoe small Baffoe: Let’s Mock People Defending The Steubenville Rapists

Tim Baffoe

Tim Baffoe attended the University of Iowa and Governors State University and began blogging at The Score after winning the 2011 Pepsi Max Score Search. He enjoys writing things about stuff, but not so much stuff about things. When not writing for, Tim corrupts America’s youth as a high school English teacher and provides a great service to his South Side community delivering pizzas (please tip him and his colleagues well). You can follow Tim’s inappropriate brain droppings on Twitter @TimBaffoe , but please don’t follow him in real life. He grew up in Chicago’s Beverly To read more of Tim’s blogs click here.

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