By Tim Baffoe-
(CBS) When I wrote last week about all the bad jokes being made about Aaron Hernandez, I at least understood that such people weren’t attempting to extract anything redeeming about the situation.
Unfortunately, there are many misguided, if not downright reprehensible, people out there lamenting not the impact this murder case will have on their fantasy football team, but instead the incarceration of an updated version of OH AN HE SEXY.
I first came across someone noting not how terrible it is that a man is dead, or even that a promising career is likely over, but rather that hotness has been wasted when I saw this:
Perhaps that’s just a taste of what you can find in Miss Castro’s upcoming book, The Modern Girl’s Guide to the Gridiron. Because I guess women need gender-specific reading to understand the sports things because, like, there’s so much more than those cute tight pants and stuff.
But, hey, isolated ignorance, I thought. Later that day, though, comedian Neil Hamburger began retweeting more and more people who find murder not to be the biggest crime in all this. If you’ve ever wondered how serial killers and other prisoners can get letters from incredibly pathetic strangers promising marriage, this is how. It’s what Tommy Tomlinson wrote about regarding the beautiful women at Rae Carruth’s trial: “It reminded me again of the raw sexual power that a great athlete can have — even one charged with putting out a hit on his pregnant girlfriend.”
For being a detriment to every female who has worked so hard to break down stereotypes in the sports world, these folks deserve a public shaming. So come along as we put the microscope on some seriously misguided people whose parents have failed hard.https://twitter.com/candymkvi/status/351450822514716673
Nope. You have many terrible peers below.https://twitter.com/StephMurillox3/status/351530353074249729
No justice, no peace.
I haven't said anything about Aaron Hernandez because I know nothing about the case & I find him very attractive so... yeah.— Yung (@YungYinkv) June 30, 2013
Thank you for not jumping to conclusion like THE LAMESTREAM MEDIA.https://twitter.com/DeeezNuuuts69/status/351112989769871361
Excuse me, but we have a little something called due process here in the U.S. of A. He’s not legally a murderer yet. A little respect, please?https://twitter.com/ATLBravesGirl49/status/350944057662521344
James Madison waxed on an issue like this in the Federalist Papers.https://twitter.com/ksull9/status/349886403435442176
This young lady quotes Proverbs 31:25 in her profile. “She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.” I’m not so sure she knows what dignity is.https://twitter.com/jasmine_fazz/status/351692306191089664
Another Bible reference in a profile. OH AN SHE HOLY.
Why does such a sexy man have to go jail @AaronHernandez ?— Kelsey (@BBLONDESPARKLE) June 30, 2013
Call your congressman and demand new laws on sexiness and incarceration. The government is taking away our sexy freedoms. I could be next!https://twitter.com/lovelee_ladee/status/351430952595099648
Tonight on Piers Morgan Live, @BBLONDESPARKLE and @lovelee_ladee debate the role sexiness should play in jail sentences. Plus, birthday girl Claire Forlani talks about frightening people in her confusing Scotch ads. 9 ET/PT. Only on CNN.https://twitter.com/rosamiroslava/status/351371567177011201
There needs to be a fundraising ad campaign for our endangered species. Call Sarah McLachlan.https://twitter.com/SavannahHaislip/status/351206723110973441
Well, maybe this is an otherwise intelligent girl who—https://twitter.com/SavannahHaislip/status/350492500529655808
I will go out on a limb and guess you’ll be a working a job that will take a long time to accumulate that bail money.
Why is Aaron Hernandez still so damn sexy? Hahaha 😍😂— taylor helms (@madetaylorr) July 1, 2013
I know, right? You’d think a murder charge would be a turn off, but not when you’re extremely shallow. Hahaha.https://twitter.com/ItsMandyyTHO/status/351203986193395712
IRONY: 1. a. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
b. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
c. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect.
2. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.
3. Having your stunningly bad tweet favorited by someone named “Pray for Boston.”
Aaron Hernandez!!! Is just soooooo fine! Idc idc!— A. Centeno (@adyy_so_amazing) July 1, 2013
I wonder if Odin Lloyd’s loved ones have ever thought, “Well, yeah, Hernandez did kill the man we care about. But he is really fine. Idc idc!!!”
im just going to put it out there and admit that for the record Aaron Hernandez is actually wicked sexy. but hes a bad boy, in a bad way.— Brandi Asselin (@brandi_asselin) July 1, 2013
Bad boy in a good way is one charged with manslaughter, just so you know.
“@annalisapires: I really dont wanna believe Aaron Hernandez is a murderer, i just cant” he's too hot..— chey (@cfigggy) June 30, 2013
I’d make a Ted Bundy joke here, but there’s no chance this girl even knows who Al Bundy is.https://twitter.com/MISS_AMBITIOUSx/status/350708541843181570
Might we interest you in some jury duty, madam?
It’s like he stole my heart, put it in a car, drove it to a remote area, shot it a few times, then dumped it somewhere else and destroyed evidence. <3<3<3
aaron hernandez is way too hot to be in jail lbr— amanda (@ghostinbiI) June 30, 2013
Right? Like only ugly peeps go to tha jailz!https://twitter.com/jasmine_fazz/status/351692306191089664
No, we don’t want him to shoot anymore, that’s the thing.
if the taylor swift concert is cancelled i'll literally kill someone im not even joking— amanda (@ghostinbiI) June 30, 2013
And not go to jail cuz you to fine for dat, gurl!
damn aaron hernandez is looking good on tv, but! he's on trial for murder— She_Aint_Me ✌🏾 (@Itzmemagen) June 26, 2013
If you’re into that forcibly-removed-from-bed-and-cuffed sheik.
I dont even care. Aaron Hernandez is fine.— Bone (@mama_ebone) July 1, 2013
Is it okay if we don’t care if you choose to enter a relationship in the future that winds up with you murdered?
"all the hot ones are either married or murderers" -@mb_horsethief in regard to seeing Aaron Hernandez's arrest on tv.— kelly shields (@kelly_lyn) June 30, 2013
Or gay. Don’t forget gay.
Ok gay twitter...did I already miss the conversation on how fine Aaron Hernandez is?— Papi Peludo ® (@brothafan) June 29, 2013
As much as I think Aaron Hernandez is sexy, he is so guilty.— 💰 (@jeskamedeiros) July 1, 2013
Do you understand that this might cause some people to lose respect for you?
If you don't respect me because I find Aaron Hernandez attractive, oh well.— 💰 (@jeskamedeiros) June 28, 2013
Oh, okay then.https://twitter.com/OhhDarlingCee_/status/351136009997656064
Because otherwise he’d being worthy of your pious self, crucifix next to your name.https://twitter.com/WinningErrday/status/351491108443926530
I’m just going to let that avatar marinate with the reader.
And these are just the tip of an incredibly awful iceberg. I couldn’t even include the profane ones. A round of applause for these great people. May they never procreate.
Tim Baffoe attended the University of Iowa before earning his degree from Governors State University and began blogging at The Score after winning the 2011 Pepsi Max Score Search. He enjoys writing things about stuff, but not so much stuff about things. When not writing for 670TheScore.com, Tim corrupts America’s youth as a high school English teacher and provides a great service to his South Side community delivering pizzas (please tip him and his colleagues well). You can follow Tim’s inappropriate brain droppings on Twitter @TimBaffoe , but please don’t follow him in real life. He grew up in Chicago’s Beverly To read more of Tim’s blogs click here.