By Dan Bernstein–
CBSChicago.com senior columnist

(CBS) It was a headline from The Onion made real, an Amy Schumer sketch taken to another level, with life going past imitating art.

Florida State University president John Thrasher on Monday actually addressed the football program to tell all of them to stop punching women. He had to do that, apparently, because Seminoles players keep doing that.

He spoke generally, of course, of “situations that reflect poor behavior or cause harm to others,” but this was a case of a top official of a state university feeling compelled not only to admonish players, but also remind the coaches that it’s their job to keep their players from punching women.

I wish this weren’t real.

Dan Bernstein is a co-host of 670 The Score’s “Boers and Bernstein Show” in afternoon drive. Follow him on Twitter  @dan_bernstein and read more of his columns here.