By Dan Morgridge

Lincoln Square is for liebhaber. The cute little crannie of the Northside is mostly known for its yearly descent into Oktoberfest madness, but break free from those beer tent walls! (Metaphorically. The last guy who really did that got the tent rental company really mad.) Here’s our little journey down the lovely strip of Lincoln that neither hipster scum nor worthless yuppies have been able to sink their claws into. Hurry before they find it!



2656 W Lawrence Ave.
Chicago, IL 60625
(773) 942-7547

Alright, well maybe they’ve heard of some of it. Chris Nugent’s big debut after leaving Les Nomades has delighted the ears of many a foodie – BYOB, 8 and 12 course menus, and the fancy-pants-iest local and seasonal ingredients being used. If you’ve got the wallet to afford roasted quail with spiced beluga lentils, ginger and compressed apple, we doubt anyone’s doing it better.



2312 W. Leland Ave 60625
(773) 784-2314

Hey, you probably need some wine for that previous suggestion? Heck, you could also just get some wine and drink it surreptitiously out of a bag in Kempf Plaza. But either way, Provenance has a delightfully curated selection of non-bank breaking vinos, craft beers, some smelly cheeses, and tiny chocolates for feeding to your lover (advanced players only!).

Laurie’s Planet of Sound

4639 North Lincoln Avenue
Chicago, IL 60625
(773) 271-3569

Of course, you could also just go on a little record shopping binge if the dame or dude is a music nerd. Laurie’s has been in the game for years, and they can flip vinyl as well as anyone.

Well, except maybe these guys:

Lincoln Lanes

4874 North Lincoln Avenue
Chicago, IL 60625
(773) 561-8191

The only bowling alley in the world where there’s the slim chance that your ball could crash through the floor, smash through a display of paint cans, and you’d roll a perfect rainbow strike. Unfortunately for that daydream, the alley is kept in a non-decrepit but far-from-flashy state of coziness. There’s a spacious bar with jukebox and table seating, a fairly high ceiling, and a dozen plus lanes of bowling that have been hiding upstairs since roughly 1975 without being found by time.



4721 North Lincoln Avenue
Chicago, IL 60625
(773) 561-2507 ‎

The pseudo-pedway stretch of Lincoln is probably the most iconic stretch in the Square, what with the two beautiful archways, the maypole and Kempf plaza. Of course, the nice bars in there help too. The one you’ll notice pleasantness simply pouring out of is named Huettenbar, and while they’re not carrying the wildest and latest craft brews, they keep a robust draft list of german goodness you’d be hard to match in the city. Grab a spot by the window on a warm night and the odds of having a pleasant eve can’t really get more in your favor.


Chubby Weiners

4652 N. Western Avenue
Chicago, IL 60625
(773) 769-1394

The Capitalist Pig costs $250, and consists of one of Chubby Weiner’s finest dogs served with a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. The store purveyor will walk to the liquor store next door to acquire this. This might be a terrible place to take a special someone, but just in case you or your date finds $250 lying on the street, we absolutely demand that you spend it in this manner.

Dan Morgridge hates getting stuck in traffic jams on Leland when spontaneous maypole dances occur.