By Mason Johnson

Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry). Not your sign? Find more Horrible Horoscopes here.

(Credit: KIMIHIRO HOSHINO/AFP/Getty Images)


Gemini, the stars understand that you’re an “open” soul.

But maybe you’re a little too “open.”

For one, it annoys the heck outta the Moon. When the Moon looks down upon the Earth, the last thing s/he wants to see is your far-from-perfect and painfully nude body.

Personally, I’m as liberal as the next guy. I say let it all hang out. Unfortunately, astrology isn’t based off my opinion. It’s based off the complicated positions of the stars and planets.


I can’t just go around manipulating my findings and advice to suit my own personal beliefs. Astrology is just too important of a science.

Anyways, put some clothes on. The stars insist.

Horrible Horoscopes is updated Monday through Friday. Find the latest Horrible Horoscopes here!

Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology and usually goes “commando.”