By Mason Johnson
Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry). Not your sign? Find more Horrible Horoscopes here.
Lile Wayne, you’ve officially surpassed Jeff Goldblum as my favorite Libra.
What’s your horoscope? What do the stars think you should do?
Keep on being you. I mean, don’t go back to jail or anything, but keep messin’ with lawyers every chance you get.
You, Lil Wayne, are a shining star. You’re a shining, shooting star. A superstar! You’re buzzin’ past Venus and Venus is all, “Hey! You can’t buzz past me,” and you’re like, “Whatever, Venus! Don’t tell me what to do!”
And then you go play a sweet show for some hot chick.
Lil Wayne you’re so cool. A bit short, but cool.
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Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology. He hopes Lil Wayne can give him some legal counsel in the future.