By Mason Johnson

Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry). Not your sign? Find more Horrible Horoscopes here.

Lookin’ good there, Chris Brown. (Credit: David McNew/Getty Images)


Ding dong the witch is dead.

Seriously though, Taurus, deleting your Twitter account is the best thing you’ve ever done. Ever.

Don’t stop now! This was a step in the right direction, but it’s not quite enough. Why stop with your Twitter when you could also stop producing music? Or stop leaving the house? You could turn into a hermit, Taurus.

Do you have any idea how happy everyone would be if you completely cut off your connection to the rest of reality?

Who knows, maybe 5 years of being a hermit could help you reflect on the horrible things you’ve done and make you a better person.

It’s doubtful.

But it could happen.

Good luck to you, Taurus.

Horrible Horoscopes is updated Monday through Friday. Find the latest Horrible Horoscopes here!

Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology.