Bernstein: Appreciating A Sunday Feast

By Dan Bernstein–

Too often we take for granted the fact that we’re lucky to live in a high-major professional sports market that affords such big things as yesterday. Four teams in meaningful action — two of them on broadcast TV – all while the Masters tightened to a dramatic end.

Here’s what you (meaning “I”) needed to make it work: an early rise to get things checked off the list to clear time and TV entitlement (cardio, garbage out, some light bulbs changed, grocery trip, dishwasher loaded and run, and the stack of clean, folded clothes by the dresser finally, actually put in the dresser), the kids in the suburbs with grandparents for the day, a special channel list arranged on the DirecTV remote, the wisdom to know what to watch at any given time, and the dexterity to zap there.

Brunchtime hockey got it going, with bitter rivals skating on slush as they hacked at a flubbery puck. The crisp call of Mike Emrick, enthusiasm of Ed Olczyk, and the win-and-in tension combine to the effect of strong coffee.

Then the Bulls tipped off in Orlando, still trying to match the Spurs for the top overall record in the NBA. Hot shooting early by Derrick Rose and his teammates appeared to predict the expected blowout of a team missing Dwight Howard, but turnovers and bad defense kept the score close enough to merit interest.

Just after 1:00 PM, both baseball teams begin and final-round golf coverage resumes. It’s 80 degrees outside, open windows are letting the strong breeze push long-missed spring air through the house, and the plasma glows.

Sox rake early, and Gavin Floyd is throwing strikes, commanding all his pitches. In Milwaukee, farmhand Casey Coleman holds his own on a day where Yovani Gallardo seems without his best stuff. Tiger Woods is posting red numbers and staying on the first page of the CBS leaderboard.

Baseball can wait.

Hawks fall miserably, despite a late power-play chance. Playoff spot looking bleak, it’s back to the Bulls for the DRose show, with the game exemplifying both the Bulls’ joys and concerns: Rose is spectacular, but shouldn’t have to be. The defense must operate on full-tilt effort to be effective, and Joakim Noah and Carlos Boozer are playing smaller and weaker than their statures and reputations.

Jameer Nelson’s game-tying three-pointer was late. Ballgame.

Woods shreds Augusta’s front nine, going birdie-birdie-eagle on 6, 7, and 8. I forgot how much sheer fun it was to watch Tiger stalking a major. Big names keep emerging to contend into the afternoon.

The Sox are missing only picnic tables and beer kegs as they cruise over the punchless Rays. Three more homers back Floyd on a wind-whipped day. Meanwhile, Kerry Wood leaves a hit-me fastball on the outer half of the plate for Casey McGehee, who crushes it to the opposite field to give the Brewers the lead in the eighth. Marlon Byrd on base as the tying run in the ninth, with hot-hitting Aramis Ramirez up against combustible closer John Axford, and nobody out, and Byrd inexplicably and inexcusably tries to steal second, and is out. By a mile. Cubs lose.

For the first time since 11:30 AM, the remote can be set down on the coffee table, and it’s back to golf. Tiger lips out his 4-foot eagle attempt at 15, and we get the feeling it’s over for him. Even without much of a rooting interest, the tight finish compels. Congrats to the Clarbl Pretzel guy.

I’m full. The afternoon-long banquet has me ready to doze.

But I’m still keeping an eye on the Stars/Wild game, first on the internet gamecast, then back on the TV after getting the tip that it was on. Empty-netter, improbable upset, and the Hawks squeak in as the eighth seed.

I didn’t have room for dessert, but I ate it anyway.

bernstein 90x130 Bernstein:  Appreciating A Sunday Feast

Dan Bernstein

Dan Bernstein has been the co-host of “Boers and Bernstein” since 1999. He joined the station as a reporter/anchor in 1995. The Boers and Bernstein Show airs every weekday from 1PM to 6PM on The Score, 670AM. Read more of Bernstein’s blogs here. Follow him on Twitter @dan_bernstein.
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  • Larry Horse's Arse

    Good blog Bernsie.
    Hate to back-in……but I’m delighted the Hawks are in the playoffs.


      That summed it all up, nicely. The Cherry on top: Mr. New Guy gets the green jacket!

      I have the center Ice package, and the Wild game was blacked out (gwha?)
      I maintained a defeated vigil until I saw that it was 3 to 3 after the second.

      Um, yeah, why did WGN replay a Cubs game from 2006? When they were–oh, that was live? My mistake.

  • Real Fan

    GO CUBS!!!!!!!!

    • Mr. Pouty Pants

      To quote Homer Simpson: “Gay.”

      • Cameltoe Rancher

        Did anybody notice how the overpaid, underachieving bum named Aramis Ramirez NOT HUSTLING between first and second on his last double? If he had hustled, he would have made third standing up. As a result, he was stranded and the Cubs end up losing by a run.

        I don’t care if he hits 6 doubles, the BUM needs to hustle. So much for the hairless wonder Mike Quade instilling discipline and fundamentals on the North Side of Town!

  • Downstate Chad

    Schwartzel may have won The Masters, but Jason Day takes over the lead in the “pro golfer with the smokin’ hot wife” competition. You won’t find this kid trolling at Perkins.

    • Likquid Swordz


    • Dave in Champaign

      Did you see Schwartzel’s wife? She was way hotter than Day’s wife.

      • Chris in Scottsdale

        I guess I missed Day’s wife… EVERYONE was talking about her.

        I was too busy watching balls hit from inbetween condos. It was a scene all too familiar to me.

  • Larry

    The weekend was nicley bookended with local sports buffets. Bad White Sox defense late spoiling a Friday night sweep for our local heros.

    P.S. No, I don’t think athletes are heros, I just had the Bruce Springsteen song “Local Hero” running through my head for some reason.

  • Gentleman RaRa

    This is the most enthusiastic and positive Bernstein has ever sounded without mentioning wine or cooking.

    • Mr. Pouty Pants

      But he did make a lot of food analogies, referring to the Hawks as “brunch” and an “afternoon-long banquet” and ending with “I didn’t have room for dessert, but I ate it anyway.”

      Man, now I’m hungry

      • AT3374


  • Likquid Swordz

    Coo…..still potentially horrific. Can I get some consistenet offensive production from an outfielder please? Soriano hitting solo shots doesnt work for me.

    White Soo…Happy for Humber coming back from a long road to win that game Saturday.

    Boo…there was no Dwight Howard, that game shoulda been cake.

    Hoo…I wonder if Luongo tossed his cookies at the end of the Wild-Stars game. If we had only kept Big Buff

    Masters…I felt bad for KJ Choi. He had plenty of makable birdies that just wasn’t falling for him.

  • Stretch Armstrong

    Regarding the Hawks..

    – click the CBSChicago logo at the top and go to the main page
    – Scroll down and watch the video of Bernsie’s favorite attractive weatherperson, Megan Glaros.

    Apparently they were discussing the Hawks and their playoff berth just prior to her segment, so the first thing you hear is:

    Anchor: “Megan’s phrase of the day: ‘The back door works just as well as the front door.”
    Megan: “That’s right, you could go in through both. Not a problem, my friend. You know what I’m sayin?”

    I know, I know. I’m juvenile.

    • Likquid Swordz

      Not quite the Bonnie Bernstein level, but still funny

  • Denver Deadite

    For all the squeaking in and backdooring, this is how many points the 8th seed in the West has had since the lockout:

    97, 95, 91, 91, 96, 95

    This year, it’s pretty much Vancouver and then everybody else. Here’s hoping the Hawks can string together a few good games in a row again.

    • Beverly Brewmaster

      You’re absolutely right, Deadite. I certainly don’t want to absolve the Blackhawks of their issues (poor secondary scoring, forwards failing to get back on D–which I think is the actual reason for what others see as a decline in our defensemen, poor penalty killing, and an inability to play hard for 60 straight minutes in consecutive games), but if you look at the numbers you’ll realize they’re just as good as or better than any other team in the West not named the Canucks. I expect the Hawks to give Vancouver a run for their money and wouldn’t be surprised if the Hawks pulled off an upset… especially if they can jump on Luongo early.

      Paging Tomas Kopecky Brian Bickell: it’s time to do your best Byfuglien impressions.

      • Denver Deadite

        What’s interesting is that the Hawks finished this year with 258 goals scored, 225 allowed, 97 points.

        Last year, 271 scored, 209 allowed, 112 points.

        If we’d hit either mark that we set last year – either in goals scored or goals allowed – they would easily have been be the #4 seed at worst. I mean, even Detroit only scored 3 more goals than the Hawks while allowing 16 more.

  • Bob in Rockford

    Nice job of painting the picture, Bernsy. My wife and I welcomed our second son into the world late Saturday night, so I was in contact with much of my social network as the games were going on. It was memorable to celebrate the personal moments while, a few seconds later, unpacking an important play in one of the games. It’s what most of us do, and none of us would trade it.

    • Jaimie in Hoffman Estates

      Congrats Bob, i went to the Brewers/Cubs game Sat. Nite pretty lame!! Caught up with some old college buds has a great time,though.

    • Larry Horse's Arse

      Hey, congrats Bob!
      Hope the little guy and the Mrs. are all healthy and well.

    • AT3374


  • Jon, Montgomery

    since when did bernsy’s blog become a rundown of his daily life?

  • DaMaNaa


  • Darth Boers

    Am I the only one who thought Jameer Nelson was throwing shoulders into Derrick Rose?

    • Chris in Scottsdale

      I was screaming at the TV in the 4th simply begging Thibs to take Rose out. This game does not matter in the bigger picture. I don’t want to see Derrick Rose taking a physical beating in the second half of a game when conference HC is locked up.

  • Jon, Montgomery

    i missed the masters because as i was coming home from the bar after the sox game, my car got a flat tire, and since i have dish network, i couldn’t record the masters because DN can’t record more then 2 things at once.

    but anyway, enough about my life, (bernsy). i had almost forgotten how much more fun a tournament is when tiger is in contention, but as usual, (usual lately), tiger puts together some good rounds, but he can’t finish, and i was very surprised to see McIlroy fall off the table, congrats to schwartzel on his win at augusta.

    i have said it all along, matt thornton needs to be our set-up man and sale needs to close, and if ANY more bullpen blow-ups happen, i’m going to call for coop’s head. the offense is perfect, but the pitching is very suspect. anyway, glad that the sox are off to a great start and minne and detroit are behind a couple games, and don’t worry, KC and CLE will revert to normal soon enough and the division will be in the white sox’ hands.

    the magic-bulls game was encouraging for me yesterday to see us hang in there without dwight, and i’m really ready for the playoffs to begin, especially ready for round 2 because every bulls fan i’ve seen on the internet or in my life is talking smack and being arrogant like they’ve already won s.hi.t in the playoffs this year, the fact is the bulls haven’t been out of the 1st round in the d.rose era, and yes, they’re much better, but show some respect for orlando, they’re the only team in the past 2 years to get to the ECFs or farther.

    congrats to the hawks for a 3rd straight playoff berth, too bad we didn’t take care of our own busniess on sunday against detroit, but i’ll take a “Wild” upset over dallas for us to get in. seriously, how the hell did the stars lose to minnesota?? LOL. thank god they did, otherwise the hawks would’ve gone down in history. and i know vancouver is a much, much better team than last year, but it seems only fitting that we’re going to face them, and i think we can beat them, we’re still in luongo’s head even though buff is gone. and i think that if crawford gets on a hot streak, the hawks will be able to pull of a ‘montreal-halak’ run like last post-season.

    • Joakim's bong

      Flat tires, underrated seed.

  • meesohawnee

    good blog bernstein. i just get this feeling that many members of the Hawks around 8 were yellin “damn that sucks, gotta cancel that tee time!”… anyone out there think its so obvious the NHL was trying to make sure those Chicago ratings didnt go away?…except the hawks..

  • Kevin S

    Stop bein so positive Bernstine!!!


    It was a really nice Sunday feast of Chicago sports. The Blackhawks should send a “Thank You” card to the Minnesota Wild, with a lot of healthy scratches, knocking off the Dallas Stars on their home ice in St. Paul to backdoor the Stanley Cup Champions into the postseason as the #8 seed, just hours after a gut-wrenching loss to the division rival Detroit Red Wings at United Center on the final day of the regular season. Game 1 with the Vancouver Canucks is a late start Wednesday night come 9p vs. a Canuck team the Hawks have actually eliminated the last 2 years.

    As for the Bulls, think Saturday for Game 1 of their first round NBA Playoff series vs. the Pacers on the West side. While I’m not sure if they’ll tip at 12Noon on ESPN or at 2p on ABC Saturday afternoon, the Bulls would certainly like to shore a few things up with 2 games remaining in the regular season. They shot the ball great vs. the shorthanded Magic in Orlando yesterday, but got very sloppy with the basketball committing about 21 turnovers and nearly had to play OT vs. an Orlando team not only locked into the #4 seed but didn’t have Dwight Howard and Quentin Richardson due to NBA suspensions. I’m not so sure the Bulls will overtake the San Antonio Spurs for the #1 overall seed, but they’d like to have momentum looking ahead to Saturday afternoon.

  • West Town Tom

    I liked Cabrera signalling ‘fore’ with his left arm, to no one but the trees and the creek. Maybe Bambi was in there. Or another condo.

  • West Town Tom Byfoogleein

    So, another 10 years and they’ll be no more American golfers on the leaderboards. Where are all the young’ns? All this hypercommunication, and they’re nowhere to be found. Oh, they’re tweetfacexailing from the cloud. Drop down here and work!

  • Ry

    Uh-oh, it’s becoming Juan Pierre Sucks Day on B&B. I better get out my umbrella before Bernstein makes it rain Sabremetric stats on Pierre defenders.


    For those wondering why I said that the Bulls & Pacers would tipoff their NBA first round Playoff series Saturday, here’s the reason. The Stanley Cup Champion (for now) Blackhawks have the United Center for Game 3 of their own first round NHL Stanley Cup playoff series vs. the Canucks Sunday night. As for when the Bulls & Pacers will tipoff their series, that’s another story, but I am reasonably sure that Game 1 airs on either ESPN or ABC. The four-letter network has games at 12Noon, late Saturday afternoon & Saturday night, while the alphabet network has a single game at 2p that afternoon. TNT gets in the game Sunday and will have the Eastern Conference Finals, should the Bulls get there.

  • hughwynn

    bernstein trying to say something positive and nice. i continue to hope wscr fires you and the stuttering idiot boers. they can get the same quality from 2 other guys for 1/10th the price. you 2 losers hate everything and everyone. why wscr has you on makes no sense. and they can fire the idiot goff too. all of a sudden he knows everything. sports should be fun. you guys dont know what fun is. good riddens

  • Bernstein: Appreciating A Sunday Feast | Mrs. Schwedler's Creations

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