“Is Marriage For White People?” by Ralph Richard Banks. (Credit: CBS)
Reporting Jim Williams
(CBS) – The single life is a challenge for many people – dating and finding the right romantic partner are not easy. But for one segment of the population, it is even more difficult, according to a new and controversial book.
CBS 2’s Jim Williams takes a look at “Is Marriage for White People?” by Stanford University professor Ralph Richard Banks.
Danielle Smith, 38, and Tiffiney Ross, 29, seem to have it all. They are attractive, well-educated and have successful careers. But we asked them, where are the men?
“That’s what I keep asking myself every day,” Smith said. “I don’t know where they are.”
We wondered what the dating scene was like for Ross.
“There isn’t one,” she said. “I’m dating absolutely no one.”
They are not dating, so chances for marriage seem slimmer.
“I don’t even think about meeting someone,” Smith said. “That’s how disillusioned I’ve become.”
Smith and Ross, both African American, are not unusual according to the book “Is Marriage for White People?”
Stanford University Law professor Ralph Richard Banks writes black women are more than three times as likely to never marry as white women.
Why? Because Banks says the pool of black men available to them is smaller.
“Ten percent of black men are in prison,” Banks said in an interview with CBS 2. “Black men have much higher unemployment rates; much higher school dropout rates than other groups.”
And for black women in the middle class, meeting the right man can be an even bigger challenge.
“Twice as many black women as black men graduate from college and that shapes the relationship market for all of them,” Banks says.
Women like Danielle and Tiffiney say they want to find men who are similar to them.
“I want to spend, you know, time with someone who will talk to me and share my interests,” said Smith.
Banks has what some call a controversial opinion to give black women a better chance of finding a mate. He says they should be open to dating men who are not African American or they could risk facing life alone.
“That means to bypass all the things that one might want to do in life, to accept that one cannot have the home the family and the children and the husband that one wants because black men are doing poorly,” said Banks.
Banks points out another challenge to black women. African American men tend to be more open than black women are to dating outside their race. As for Danielle Smith and Tiffiney Ross, they have differing thoughts on dating men who aren’t black.
“I figure why not be open to it,” said Smith. “Why not try something else?”
Ross is firm about dating and marrying in her race.
“It will happen,” said Ross. “It’s within the realm of possibility for me.”
Williams says that many African American women he has spoken with say even if they’re willing to date outside their race, their experiences have told them many non-black men are not always interested in them.
Still, Banks urges African American women to keep an open mind to increase their chances of finding a suitable partner.
273 Comments
what ever ALL RACES have similar issues. GET OVER YOURSELF!!! YOU IGNORANT “person”!
January 25, 2012 at 11:06 pm
Who said that black women can only marry black men? The whole premise of this book is racist.
January 26, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Ah,..yah…does anyone address how many black men (when they get sucessful) only date & marry white women as a status symbol??
January 26, 2012 at 8:49 pm
Nigras seem to have the most problems…. or I mean “issues”. That’s the PC way of saying it right?
January 26, 2012 at 9:13 pm
With some exceptions, the African American male is a defunct segment of society. Given to use by compassionate big hearted Democrats.
January 26, 2012 at 9:19 pm
2 more reasons black women can find a partner…
!. Another 20% of those black males are either in the Chicago morgue or cemetery.
2. They are so ugly as Fred G. Sanford would say “they could stick their face in some cookie dough and make gorilla cookies.”
January 27, 2012 at 1:22 am
Yeah but theres another problem the black man only knows how to take, thats why their all in prison or dead.
January 27, 2012 at 1:25 am
Put Michelle Obama on the issue; she will tell us what to do. She will have our President create a Regulation and a Presidential Order for an Equal Marriage Provision in all of our Agencies to ensure that all races have equal marriage rates. It may be necessary to destroy marriages in other races to make them equal.
January 28, 2012 at 9:58 am
first they say they have a hard time meeting men. then they go into a laundry list of things that are wrong with black men.if I used this method to attract women I’d be dateless forever. successful daters realize romance is about give and take and not something you are entitled to like a job promotion or diploma.
January 26, 2012 at 1:34 am
No one is “entitled” to a job promotion. You earn it. That is a major problrm with employees today.
January 26, 2012 at 5:22 pm
You aren’t entitled to a diploma either. That”s a major problem with kids these days.
January 26, 2012 at 6:21 pm
That may be wrong with what is wrong with black relationships. Maybe the US govt needs to provide Relationship Affirmative Action…. only allow states to issue so many marriage certificates to black men seeking to marry non black women.
January 26, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Minorities seem to think that they are entitled to everything, that’s why they have special privileges. Don’t believe me, look at moochelle (got into Princeton with bad grades, got to graduate with worse grades) and hubby chairman chicken (of whom we really don’t know whether or not he really did go to Columbia and Harvard, challenge and you’re “racist”).
Minorities love to riot for special privileges, but they don’t have the brains to figure out that, in order to be the best you can be, takes hard work and talent, with natural talent above all else.
January 26, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Sam you have some serious issues. sounds like you have issue with minorities You need to have your head check asap. And yes..i’m calling you out on this one
January 27, 2012 at 12:38 pm
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What the hell is going on over there at CBS? There were more opinions here this morning, what the hell happened to them? Also, the top story on the main page has no comment section at all. Whoever is supposed to be taking care of things at CBS, isn’t doing a very good job of it!!!! Get on the ball CBS!!!!!
January 26, 2012 at 12:10 pm
Interesting article. Thank you for talking about this subject because it is a huge deal for black women. The thing that I think the author is missing is that the professional educated black men are dating white or Latin women. They don’t even want women of their own race anymore. It’s almost as if a black man hasn’t made it unless he’s been able to go white, Asian, Indian or Latino.
The author further writes that Black women should date outside their race or risk being alone. He fails to realize that men of other races don’t seem to want black women either!! Have you ever gone on a dating site and looked to see what race is generally always most excluded from the “race seeking” column? It’s almost always ‘African American”…. what’s a black woman to do?
I agree with one of the women in the story. I’ve about given up on finding a man. Not because I don’t truly desire to have one but because its better than trying and feeling like nothing you do will ever be good enough.
Instead of saying marriage is for white people only I wish the author had explored the real issues. Marriage isn’t only for white people and to suggest so is inflammatory and designed to sell books. Marriage is for everyone but the reasons why black women seem to more often than not be left in the cold is because of: Black men dating outside their race at even higher rates, Black men not desiring Black women, Black men having higher rates of imprisonment, unemployment and lack of education.
What should also be discussed is the fact that the media has a part to play in why black women are seen as undesirable by men of all races. Casting directors don’t look to hire attractive black women for film roles or television shows. Often times when they do hire attractive black women it’s the Paula Patton or Halle Berry types. These women aren’t black,they are biracial. But they have become the norm and what men of all races have started to see as Black. Men want Halle Berry black rather than Angela Basset black.
Biracial isn’t black and even though everyone wants to say it is doesn’t make it true. People may think President Obama is a black man, he is a genetically a biracial man. Furthermore, do you think for second the Black community would have been so in favor of Obama’s bid if he’d married a white women?
January 26, 2012 at 2:42 pm
I am a white man who finds many black women attractive. There are good men out there of all colors. Just keep your eyes open.
January 26, 2012 at 3:57 pm
As a W/M you have to be on guard about spouting off and using the wrong words. But that the way it is.
January 26, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Yes, JB, I agree that there are good men of all races because I have dated some pretty good men of different races. I appreciate the encouragement and positivity.
January 27, 2012 at 8:33 am
ConcernBlkWoman, It seems to me that a basic part of the problem is that the only black people who want to even consider marriage are college educated/professional. And, as the author points out, far more black women have college degrees than black men. Compounding this, it appears that well educated/employed black men prefer to marry white/Latino women. So, the necessary changes are not going to occur w/in this sector. And, the Professor from Stanford is wrong: Black women need not settle for marrying outside their race. Instead, black people need to demand that all marriageable members of their race marry. Marriage itself needs to become valued within the whole of the black community.
The situation needs to be corrected from the ground up and the people guiding the correction need to be better educated black people demanding better standards from less socially cultivated black people .
If uneducated black women were to uphold marriage as a practical moral value and not have children w/multiple men (effectively, unfathered children) then the dire state of affairs w/in the black community would most certainly change for the better. And it would begin to change within one generation.
Educated black people need to hold the right parties responsible for the demise of their marriage market: uneducated blacks unwilling to marry and the Democrat politicians who prefer to cultivate destructive dependency in exchange for votes.
January 26, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Daisy, why is marrying outside your race “settling?” I don’t agree with that at all. Wouldn’t you agree that love, friendship, attraction, trust, etc. are the important elements we should seek in a companion? These things are all independent of race, so why should we allow race to be an arbitrary obstacle to finding a partner?
January 26, 2012 at 4:35 pm
You are right on the money. I certainly hope that your welll-thought out comment is not labelled as racist in order to try to make it seem. invalid. Black men have to want to change before this situation gets better. No one can do it for them or legislate it for them or create a government program to eliminate the problem.
January 26, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Care to site a source for your statement that “…it appears that well educated/employed black men prefer to marry white/Latino women”
According to the US Census 97% of married black men are married to black women. Just because you see something on tv doesn’t mean that it’s the norm. How many black people do actually even know? Pfft.
January 26, 2012 at 6:24 pm
Jeremy, I couldn’t agree more with your statement. I don’t think a black woman marrying outside her race is settling. I would be more than happy to marry a man of ANY race.
As stated, in my original comment my problem is that I have found (recently) that it’s increasingly harder to find a man of ANY race that is willing to date a black woman. I’ve had black men tell me that they don’t typically date black women for a variety of reasons and often times men of other races will date you because of curiosity or the desire to “sample” something different but marriage is never on the table.
But unlike some of the racist or closed minded comments posted here mine isn’t meant to discriminate. I think people should be able to be with anyone they chose regardless of race, sexual preference or whatever else. The issue I was raising was that men of other races often times don’t prefer black women and with so many black men choosing partners outside their race often times that leaves a black woman with no options.
January 27, 2012 at 8:44 am
I’m a white guy, but frankly, I think the way black women are treated by black men is the single most racist attribute remaining in our society. Having a beautiful blond blue eyed woman on his arm seems to be the greatest status symbol of success for a black man. Yet black men would have never achieved the civil liberties to be successful at all had it not been for the efforts of black women. Quite pathetic, actually. Thats one thing I admire about the president – he selected a beautiful, elegant and sophisticated black women to be his wife, and appears to treat her right.
January 26, 2012 at 4:23 pm
“Having a beautiful blond blue eyed woman on his arm seems to be the greatest status symbol of success for a black man.”
Isn’t that what’s propped up as the ideal by the mainstream? Black men are just as susceptible to white media propaganda as anyone else. In American culture, White women are held up as the ideal standard of beauty, so how is it shocking that black men want what the media tells them to want? It’s called programming.
January 26, 2012 at 6:31 pm
The president married a black woman for the same reason he joined a Christian church when he moved to Chicago- that was his route into politics. Who did he date in college?
January 26, 2012 at 6:36 pm
so, you haven’t seen obama’s white girlfriend?
guess his media pukes have done their job to keep the public ignorant to his girlfriend as well as his boyfriend
January 26, 2012 at 10:52 pm
Stan1026 – I agree with your comment and think you are right on the money.
January 27, 2012 at 9:05 am
I’m a white man married to a black woman with two beautiful biracial children together. However, race is never even a topic in our household. It’s a shame that so many people want to view everything in terms of race. Anyone who uses race as a barrier to finding a mate may very well be missing out on something great.
That being said, I do think attitudes are changing in the right direction. It probably depends on what part of the country you live, but I have noticed in the South (especially Atlanta) that interracial relationships/marriages in which the man is white and the woman is black are becoming very common. In my daughter’s 1st grade class of 20 students there are two other children from the same type of interracial marriage (black woman/white man) in addition to her.
Nobody needs to be alone, but if they create artificial barriers to companionship then they are only hurting their own chances.
January 26, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Jeremy, It’s interesting that you’ve chosen the one thing in my comment which you can misconstrue into something that has personally to do w/you and not reply to the major content of my comment.
Incidentally, my use of the word ‘settle’ had to do w/what the woman said in the interview. As a woman I understand what the word ‘settle’ means. And it’s not something I would do as a single woman. Therefore, I’m married to an exceptionally high caliber man. Moreover, I married a man w/a far different religious background than I have. Trust me, we talk and create understanding.
If you think that married people from different backgrounds don’t need to talk about the issues that can arise from their differing backgrounds, you are naive. Moreover, if you think that the black community is not deeply riddled w/problems, you are flagrantly in denial of reality.
Nevertheless, I’m glad you’re happy.
January 26, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Good comment, Jeremy. I’m white and have dated women of all races including black. If some white men can’t see the beauty of black women or other ethnicities, then they’re missing out.
January 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Concerned Black Woman,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment on this topic.
I’m an educated black man who married an educated (and strong!) black woman. While I dated a few non-black women in college, I conscientiously chose to marry within my race and to have children. While non-blacks might describe my decision as “racist,” I chose to marry black because the African-American community is desperately in need of successful, non-athlete black role models. (We also believed that we should stay in “the Hood” to set a good example, but we moved to the suburbs when we began to fear for our childrens’ safety.)
Across all races in the US, the least fit to survive are reproducing at a rate far faster than those most fit to survive. This is strikingly true in our community… and if you play out the trend over a few generations, it is frightening to think of the consequences.
I wish all the African American women reading this article happiness. Marry black if you can, and have kids, because the world is in desperate need of more Cosbys and Obamas. But if no compatible black man is your equal, I share the author’s recommendation to be open to another race.
“Mommylinda” has good advice below. I would add that you should consider dating sites, particularly a site like eHarmony, where prospective dates are far more likely to consider the whole you rather than just your skin color.
January 26, 2012 at 5:18 pm
The world doesn’t need anymore Obamas.
January 26, 2012 at 5:23 pm
AnthonyRobinson
Very Racist….Why is it so important to procreate children in your own image? I married outside my race and have 2 great children. You are really hung up on the wrong things. Your “people” will reject you and then hate you and then kill you because you think you are superior to them and are “slumming” it to help the “poor uneducated blacks”. You should be your own person and live your own life and let your life be the example you leave. I imagine you are 28-35 years old. I to thought like you, since I made it from poverty to get educated and then successful, others in similar positions as I was would look at me and say “I want to be like him” and work hard and impove their lives…but all they do is resent you. So you live and learn and if you found a great wife of the same race…great…but to think it is your responsibility to maintain the black race…well, that is so medieval. I truly hope you overcome your racial hang-ups as you mature…no insult intended. PS: Obama is what you said you feared…he is biracial, not black. So if he is a role model to the black community, then if you married a wonderful like minded white woman, Couldn’t your children also be role models?
January 26, 2012 at 8:20 pm
Please stop with all of this narcicism. The concern is not who we should marry or ‘be with’ We are ignoring the problem, which is the lack of concern and downright neglect of children…. boys especially. Unfortunately, we live in a ‘me-first’ society.
January 26, 2012 at 9:33 pm
@AnthonyRobinson wrote: “Across all races in the US, the least fit to survive are reproducing at a rate far faster than those most fit to survive. This is strikingly true in our community… and if you play out the trend over a few generations, it is frightening to think of the consequences.”
William Shockley, the co-inventor of the transistor, noted that the less intelligent were reproducing at a higher rate and referred to it as a “dysgenic” effect, the opposite of eugenic. Shockley was attacked for his position but he wasn’t necessarily wrong, just politically incorrect.
January 26, 2012 at 9:45 pm
You’re a racist. Well spoken, yes, but still a racist.
January 27, 2012 at 8:10 am
Hi Anthony, I have tried eharmony but didn’t meet anyone that I was interested in pursuing a relationship. Besides skin color, especially in the Midwest, is ALWAYS a factor regardless of where people meet. To try and say it isn’t is simply an illusion. All you have to do is look at all the racists comments on this board.
While I appreciate your comments I don’t necessarily agree with marrying black and/or having children just for the sake of promoting positive examples for black youth and the black community. There are other ways to accomplish that such as community service or mentoring.
I agree that we need more Cosby/Obama types but also think there are plenty already. It’s just that the lower socioeconomic class is larger and due to poverty, criminal activity and lack of education they garner most of the attention from the mainstream media. I am a educated professional (MA level) and my friends of all races are on the same level. The difference between us all is that the white and Latino women are marring and having children. My black friends are more often than not single. Most of my black male friends are single as well but the few that are involved are with non-black women. Do I begrudge them? No… My original essay was to simply point out is that black women don’t have a fair shot in the dating game. We aren’t alone as it’s been proven that Asian men have just as much trouble as we do. But I don’t wish to get off topic…
The point is that the Obama “types” of black people aren’t marrying or having children. Very few of my professional black friends have children or are married. The ones reproducing out of wedlock are the ones in the hood who live off the government, are unmotivated, under educated. People outside the black community aren’t willing to admit it but there ARE two black America’s. There’s the Obama America and the Ghetto America (for lack of a better term). How do you survive when white America sees you as one black America no matter how much different you are? And how do we stop Ghetto America from producing out of wedlock children and get Obama America to start marrying and having children? I talked to a couple of friends last night and we were just saying how we’ve purposely NOT had children to avoid being the stereotypical single black mother with a child.
January 27, 2012 at 9:29 am
Look – I don’t think it’s narcissistic to take seriously the responsibility of trying to be a role model. Yes, people may resent you if you try to lead your life as a role model (ask Tim Tebow). But my mother taught me an important lesson: Do It Anyway. If people resent you for escaping poverty, it’s likely because you are flaunting your wealth. Of course people will resent you if you’re just a white collar version of a football player who drives his Escalade through his old neighborhood a few times a year. But I know that people take notice when you drive a family sedan to church in your old community every Sunday and when you interact with them with dignity and respect.
I respect the choice of bi-racial couples. My choice was to marry a black woman who shared my life experience, values, and view of our responsibility to success and be role models. As CountYob points out, the truth is often not very PC. My view is that people are essentially tribal, regardless of what anti-discrimination laws are on the books. I have a good friend who is Jewish, and I have had conversations with him about why Jewish people are so disproportionately successful. His short answer was that Jewish people marry their own and take care of their own. His long answer was to refer me to an excellent book entitled “The Jewish Phenomenon: Seven Keys to the Enduring Wealth of a People.” I believe it could be a blueprint for turning around the African-American community.
I’ll just say that I don’t agree with Obama’s policies either. But, Kate, you have no idea how powerful it is for black children to see a black family in the White House. I’m completely aligned with successful bi-racial people. I just fear that if the trend continues, most successful black people in a few generations will only be 12.5% or 25% or 50% black, and that people will come to view black as a negative, recessive trait that these people somehow overcome.
January 27, 2012 at 10:05 am
Unfortunately, I think you’re probably spot on, Ma’am, and I’m 59, White, and male. Good luck to you.
January 26, 2012 at 5:19 pm
I date Angela Basset and I am a white guy. To me it seems like most want to stay within thier race. I would rather find the right person for me and as long as we share the same values and are attracted to eachother then it could be anyone of any color.
January 26, 2012 at 5:57 pm
FD, I can’t speak for everyone else but I don’t desire to stay within my race. I have dated men of ALL races and would marry a man regardless of his race.
The problem I have is that often times men of other races aren’t open mined enough to date black woman. YOU have dated a black woman but how many of your friends would do it? I would guess that not many… you probably don’t even know what your friends or family truly feel about your dating a black person. This wouldn’t be an issue at all for black women if men of other races dated black women in equal numbers but the fact is that they don’t. Just because you are exception doesn’t mean the rule changes.
January 27, 2012 at 9:37 am
I would date a black woman,in fact,I’d like to meet one who really challenges me socially and intellectually.I know they’re out there.I think Whooppi would have been cool to hang out with,regardless of how diametrically opposite we are politically.But that’s just me,and it’s very unpopular with all cultures.
January 26, 2012 at 6:33 pm
Thanks for such an open, honest post, CBW. I feel for your plight but I’d like to share with you that finding a good man isn’t a problem only black women face. I’m white and I too, gave up dating for many years at a stretch. The older I got the more issues single men my age had, making it appear hopeless.
But I did finally meet and marry a wonderful man, he’s my best friend, actually. Love can happen, and seems to occur when you least expect it. It helps to be open about age differences. If I’d known my husband’s age when we met there never would’ve been a first date; he was younger than I and not just by a couple years. And what a waste that would’ve been to exclude him over such a non-issue! We’ve been married 10 years now. Each day something new happens we can’t wait to share it with the other.
I’ll put you in my prayers tonight, CBW. Speaking of which, it might behoove you to ask G*d for help on this. I finally did and less than a year later He sent me my husband.
January 26, 2012 at 6:39 pm
Blessed, thanks for the encouraging words. I hope that I’ll find love just in the way you did. I also don’t think for a second that isn’t hard for ALL women to find love. I can, however, only speak to my experience. And the fact is that all my Latino, White and Asian friend are attached while the vast majority of my black friends are not.
But I’m glad you have found your true love and appreciate the gesture of your prayer.
January 27, 2012 at 9:40 am
I’m a white guy who finds black women attractive. I dated one once and got some pretty nasty reactions from some black men. I’d say these African American women should seek husbands from Nigeria or other parts of Africa. I have known many good educated black men from places like Nigeria and Ghana. Just make sure they aren’t doing it for a green card…
January 26, 2012 at 6:40 pm
BrilliantThoughts, interestingly enough black men often times don’t like it when they see black women with white men or men of other races. It’s not ok for us to do it but we are expected to accept them doing it. It’s def a complex dynamic but not something I care enough about to concern myself with.
Dating African isn’t the solution though… Africans aren’t black American’s. Their culture is different and often times they don’t even respect black Americans. If you call an African black he’d probably get offended. I can’t speak for every black person but I was taught never to date or marry African growing up because of the way they treat their women. I have a friend who dated an African guy and he treated her like his slave. I finally got to see first hand what my family taught me growing up about them. African is no more black American than Eastern European is white American. Sure it’s all black or white but still not the same.
January 27, 2012 at 9:49 am
You heard it here first… Barack Obama is not black
January 26, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Obama had a black father and a white mother. He’s not pure black. He’s not pure white. He was raised by the white side of his family. The father did what a lot of black fathers do – he took off. Yet Obama identifies as black. He married a black woman so his children are more black than him.
Races can change and evolve over time. Geographic isolation was a major factor in the formation of today’s races. Modern transportation and social changes have temporarily made it somewhat easier for races to mix. As transportation becomes more expensive and difficult when fossil fuels are used up geographic isolation will, once again, move to the fore in the maintenance and development of human races.
January 26, 2012 at 10:23 pm
ConcernBlkWoman,
Are you really trhat naive? The reason the article can be titled ” Is Marriage for White People?” is because it can be. Who wouold dare challenge it with any authority?. Enjoy your life flying solo.
Hey, BTW, aren’t we supposed to be a colorblind society? Just how long have you been a racist?
January 26, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Gary1206, I am not a racist. I agree we should be colorblind but the fact is that we aren’t. I never once stated that people shouldn’t date outside their race. I was simply pointing out that due to racism, stereotyping and other factors black women don’t get a fair shake in the dating game.
You obviously didn’t read what I wrote objectively and/or with comprehension.
January 27, 2012 at 9:55 am
ConcernBlkWoman ,
Very well written response…very thoughtful and accurate! You sound like a good catch…but I bet you are married already:)
January 26, 2012 at 7:57 pm
Thanks Jack. I’m not married but hope to be one day.
January 27, 2012 at 9:51 am
Stop with your obssession with race! It is the Progressive’s deliberate destruction of the ‘Black’ family for the last 100 years that is the problem. 70% of black children born into ‘families’ with no father. Since there is or never has been a woman capable of properly teaching a boy how to be a man, is it any surprise that our society is crumbling?
January 26, 2012 at 9:17 pm
well,,talk to me sometime,,im open to change
January 26, 2012 at 9:24 pm
You seem to blame everyone but the black woman. If black men or other men aren’t desirable of black women, maybe it’s the behavior of the black woman. Just food for thought.
January 26, 2012 at 10:06 pm
@ConcernBlkWoman
It doesn’t matter how much mud is in the water it is still muddy water so all you mud people that think your white, you’re not and neither is the one occupying the Whitehouse
January 27, 2012 at 1:31 am
Concerned Black Woman,
I’m sorry I posted before I had a chance to read your most recent comment.
I agree with you about prevalent stereotypes about black women, but I’m confident that you’ll find a man who appreciates and loves you for who you are. You’re probably fed up with unsolicited advice, but I’ll echo someone’s sentiment about not dismissing “someone who works with his hands.” One of my best from high school didn’t go to college simply because he felt an obligation to begin immediately taking care of his mother and his younger siblings. I read somewhere that education level is the most predictive factor in who marries who… but don’t write off people simply because they don’t have a white-collar job or a Master’s degree.
Yes, there is an Obama or “Hard-Working Black America” outside of the “Ghetto Black America.” I think it’s important for those of us in hard-working black America to have real dialogue about what it takes to turn the Ghetto around.
But take care of you first before you worry about the community. If you want kids, but can’t find a man good enough for you, then have kids.
Keep your head up. ;-)
January 27, 2012 at 10:47 am
I am so tired of hearing about this ratting. I agree that there are far too many black men incarcerated, unemployed. However, the decision that we make are our own. The reason for the high incarceration rate is because black men choose to go down that route and choose to “sling” and wear pants that I can put a gallon of milk in and still have room for another gallon. My family was born and raised on the west side of Chicago which we call “K” town. We refuse to give in and be the statistic of not wanting a good education and career. My mother and farther work and sometime had to get welfare to survive. We knew what hard times meant so we did our best to move ahead.
Now that we have work our butts we are look down on as not wanting to marry someone in our race. I was married for 11 years to a black woman and let me tell you I tried from A to Z to keep things together. Since I was in school and working a full time job and binging every penny home to the family wasn’t good enough. So I was kick “thrown” to the curb. After my divorce I raised all four of my children by myself. No woman was needed and I happy and proud to say that all four of them “3 boys and 1 girl” have complete college and graduate school. So don’t tell me what a black man can and can’t do. I’ve never seen the inside of a jail and don’t want to. And encase you are wondering I did try to date a black woman and none of them wanted to be bother with me and my children.
I’m married now to a wonderful Korean woman who I met while working at the same company together. We have been married for 18 years now. She’s been there when I was making less than $10K a year and now that I make $100K a year she is still by my side.
One more thing, each one of my kids are making over 80K a year. Not bad for a father who raises his kids by his self and refuse to buck to the easy way out.
January 27, 2012 at 1:05 pm
…a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle
January 26, 2012 at 3:45 pm
A man needs a woman like a nail gun in the head.
:)
January 26, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Don’t be so upset Joe, logicalconclusion was quoting a U2 song.
January 26, 2012 at 5:52 pm
Actually, I believe that quote comes from Gloria Steinem.
January 26, 2012 at 10:54 pm
Actually she was quoting Gloria Steinham the destroyer of a generation of American families
January 26, 2012 at 6:34 pm
LOVE that album,er,cd!
January 26, 2012 at 6:36 pm
the ‘great society’ has deemed men irrelevant, they are not needed. The government has been sold as the answer, providing support as a parent or husband with it’s programs. As such, men don’t feel obligated to stay with children and mother – the government is there to care. Now flush with free time, a lack of role models, and hanging around with like-minded individuals, they tend to do something dumb and end up on the wrong end of the law. Feminism’s promise was that a woman can have everything….men will oblige, by leaving. The woman then has it all – the children, the bills, the responsibility
January 26, 2012 at 6:38 pm
I understand the woman/fish part, but what’s with the man/bicycle?
January 26, 2012 at 9:00 pm
There, I rest my case. Not a speck of logic in your statement. A woman may not ‘need’ a man, but a boy certainly does!
January 26, 2012 at 9:20 pm
““Ten percent of black men are in prison,” Banks said in an interview with CBS 2. “Black men have much higher unemployment rates; much higher school dropout rates than other groups.””
So attractive huh? That doesn’t stop them from having kids with these ‘bums’ she speaks of since 70% of that community’s children are fatherless.
January 26, 2012 at 3:56 pm
maybe black women shouldnt mother children out of wedlock. dont open your legs until you have that ring on your finger. i used to have empathy for black women, because they truly are mothering this shrinking race, but… you give an inch you give a mile. just the tip, they go balls deep.
January 26, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Black man Jones, I haven’t had a child out of wedlock. I agree that too many women allow themselves to get pregnant without being married.
But why is that women should close their legs? How come you did’t say that the black men should step up and TAKE CARE OF THEIR CHILDREN???
Furthermore, have you NOT dropped your pants until that ring was presented???
January 27, 2012 at 10:00 am
We’re talking about college-educated black women here, and they’re not the ones typically having kids out of wedlock.
January 26, 2012 at 5:55 pm
They’re the ones who are not having kids, period.
January 26, 2012 at 7:05 pm
Cindy, you are correct. That is who I was referring to… college educated black women.
Robea, you are also correct professional blacks (men and women) who are unmarried are not having children. I am in my early 30s and non of my professional black friends, male or female, have children. Personally, I have made a conscious choice NOT to be statistic. I refuse to be an unmarried, single black mother. Becoming a single parent because of divorce or one thing but getting pregnant out of wedlock is something entirely different. I am intelligent and will never allow a man to put me in such a vulnerable position.
January 27, 2012 at 10:24 am
It’s time for the black community to discuss the breakdown of the family more openly and honestly. This article is somewhat misleading when it states the reasons black women cannot find suitable mates: in prison, high unemployment, high dropout rate. It makes it sound as if these are the causes of the breakdown of the black family, when in truth it’s the other way around: the breakdown of the black family has led to higher incarceration rates among blacks, less employment and education opportunities for blacks, lower lifetime income for blacks, etc. Until and unless the black community is willing to discuss the real reasons the family unit has broken down, black women will continue finding it difficult to find a worthy partner. 72% of African-American babies are born to single mothers, and research shows that no other single factor is more likely to lead to poverty and prison time than being raised with no father in the home. Black men need to step up and take responsibility for the children they father, and black women need to take responsibility for their promiscuity and use birth control (and abortion is not birth control).
January 26, 2012 at 3:58 pm
Completely agree, FactsofLife.
January 26, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Don’t you good blacks know what time it is?Its too late in the day. Believe it or not, young blacks lawlessness has given the far right all the ammo they need to round up the gangstas for good. Good blacks have allowed for a few teenage hoodlums to utterly define them all, and said nothing about correcting it.
January 26, 2012 at 5:59 pm
“Good blacks have allowed for a few teenage hoodlums to utterly define them all, and said nothing about correcting it.
Mayor Nutter had a few choice words, as I recall. So did Cosby. . . .But the race hucksters (Jackson, Rev. Al) are just worthless.
January 26, 2012 at 6:35 pm
There is no such place as the “black community” unless you mean the place where black people live untill they can afford to live where the white people are. Unfortunately for them, once they move to where the white people are, the white people leave. It appears that nobody wants to live where black people live, including black people.
January 26, 2012 at 6:32 pm
So, they are always the vidtims, eh? Maybe that is the problem. Take some accountability and responsibility and that will lead to dignity.
January 26, 2012 at 7:30 pm
If you want to see the real “victims” google “black on white crime’. There are your victims.
January 26, 2012 at 8:49 pm
FactsofLife, I agree. And I think professional, educated black women have stopped having children out of wedlock. I’m not talking about the blacks in the hood. I have not had children out of wedlock and never would. My black professional friends haven’t either.
I agree that Black men do need to step up as well.
January 27, 2012 at 10:27 am
Ross is firm about dating and marrying in her race.
Is Racist? What if a white person said this?
January 26, 2012 at 4:00 pm
I have to agree with you. I’m totally offended by this article. It is completely racist, even the title.
January 26, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Answer: If a white person said this they’s be called “RACIST!!”, just as James called Ms Ross racist.
How about, IT Is Her CHOICE?!?! To heck with calling every other move by someone “racist”. If she wants to marry someone of her own race, Its her own Choice. If she doesn’t want to ever eat shrimp, Its her own CHOICE. If she only wants to drive American made vehicles, Its her own CHOICE.
If I only want to marry someone who is not Irish, its MY CHOICE. If I never want to go to NYC, its MY CHOICE. If I don’t like to eat collard greens, its MY CHOICE. If I only watch college footbal and not the NFL, its MY CHOICE
This is still a free country, where we are allowed to make personal choices. “Tolerance” and “diversity” and “Political correctness” are total BS concepts designed to mask what anyone might really feel or choose or THINK.
Let Ms Ross and anyone else make their own choices without calling them names. This is America; she’s allowed to choose what she prefers, and she doesn’t need to give anyone any reason or rationale.
January 26, 2012 at 10:48 pm
Jeez, sometimes people are so stupid I wish I were a goat or a squirrel
How about who cares about your race? If two people are into each other then give it a shot. Life is short.
It seems like less of a big deal as time goes by anyway. Besides, if we all took DNA tests we would probably find a little of everything anyway.
January 26, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Jon, I love you! That’s exactly what I was thinking, Fellow Squirrel.
January 26, 2012 at 4:23 pm
You 2 may as well be squirrels you already have the brains for it
January 27, 2012 at 1:37 am
Not only are black men doing poorly, but let’s be real, black women aren’t doing so great either. The two in this article are obviously the exceptions. Too many black women are fat, unattractive, unfashionable, angry, speak like they can’t even handle simple ebonics, let alone proper English…so the black men that actually don’t end up in jail and make something of themselves, really have very, very little to choose from as far as black women go.
And many beautiful black women who are thin/in shape, articulate, well dressed and groomed, and who are decent women, deliberately go out with whites or other non-blacks because they feel they are too good for black men (and they’re really right).
Unfortunately, most black men AND women just aren’t worth dating to the ones that are actually decent.
January 26, 2012 at 4:04 pm
I am very concerned for this generation. I have six children. Two have graduated and are doing will. I have had such a wonderful marriage that I hate to see my children unmarried. My beautiful and successful daughter wouild like to get married. My son has a girl friend and we accept that but with hesitation. I like the commitment. I like even the thought that my wife and I are married. I want my children to have wonderful marriage and even babies. I long to hold a grand child in my arms. And, we are white. It can only be worse for the black wanna be grand parents.
January 26, 2012 at 4:06 pm
RobertV, my mom has stopped asking about grandchildren altogether. I hope that your children will find mates and that they will make you a grandma one day. It is indeed hard for all people in this day and age and I never meant to imply that it wasn’t.
January 27, 2012 at 10:31 am
Racism much?
January 26, 2012 at 4:14 pm
It seems the pool of quality Black men is preemptively reduced by abortion – over 80% of Black babies are compassionately murdered every year.
January 26, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Horrendous, and true.
January 26, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Margaret Sanger’s dream has come true. The racist.
January 26, 2012 at 5:19 pm
I am 56 and still married to and love the woman I married when I was 22. My three children, the youngest is 29, are all married. I am white. Is this racist? No. Is it cultural? Probably.
January 26, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Get to church, ladies. It is more important to share values than an educational level. If you a smart, educated, successful woman in her 30′s and not married, you need to expand your territory a little bit.
Some tips:
1. Eat breakfast out at a typical breakfast place, like Denny’s. The working guys are there early, and having a job is a definite requirement. Go between 6-7 AM. If you go earlier, you will get the bar crowd. Go later and it will be the married retirees.
2. Don’t go to art galleries and poetry readings expecting to meet a guy. Attend the Robotics Club meeting or enroll in the HVAC class at the Community College. These are the nerdy guys who are awkward with girls, but they usually have passable educations and pretty good jobs. All they need is a good woman in their lives.
3. Do not ever dismiss a guy who works with his hands. He might not have a college degree, but that does not mean that he is not intelligent or well read. He might even make more money than the typical college graduate.
4. Meet guys through family and friends. This is still the best way to find someone.
5. Ask you parents for help. If I had to pick spouses for my 2 children, I would pick the ones they have. I tell our son that if he and his wife ever get divorced, we get custody of his wife. Mom and Dad might know someone but are afraid to “interfere”. They love you and would never hurt you, so give them permission to look for you. There is something to be said in favor of arranged marriages, not for 15 year olds, but for women in their 30′s
6. Connect with a cause. Nothing is more attractive than the passion you develop for the poor, homeless, youngsters, the elderly or another cause.
7. Again, I say. Go to church. You might be surprised. You can find God and let him lead you the right way.
January 26, 2012 at 4:23 pm
You’re a smart cookie, mommylinda :)
January 26, 2012 at 4:27 pm
You got it. If you both share the same values and the values are good ones, all else takes care of itself.
January 26, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Outstanding,mom!
January 26, 2012 at 6:20 pm
AMEN, MommyLinda! What an upbeat, dynamic post.
January 26, 2012 at 7:04 pm
A fine point that many blacks miss, the book is about blacks and dating, but for some reason, instead of saying hispanic, chinese, indian, the author focuses on white people. Look, a white person is NOT causing your problem, it is just that simple. Think about it. Think long and hard about it. If you think there is a color problem, good for you, think about it and figure it out. Whites, as far as I can tell here, do not give a d*mm about color. Seriously, so stop telling us to care about it. Thanks in advance. Now change the title to something like “Why are blacks having problems dating?” and leave it at what it is about, it’s not about white people.
January 26, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Good comment!
January 27, 2012 at 7:21 pm
This is all because most of the black kids in this country grow up without a father. Most do not even know who their father is. Then, they in turn, do the same thing over again, and so on. The leftists in this nation have destroyed the black family in the last 50 years.
January 26, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Why restrict yourself to race? I’m married to a great Latino, going on 30 years now.
It’s sad that people still put up a race barrier.
Love knows no color.
January 26, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Black women are not physically attractive to most white men. Sad for black women, but true. Women often like to move up the musculature/physicality/sexuality chain, which goes Asian-Caucasian-African. Men generally don’t.
January 26, 2012 at 4:28 pm
@Paul in FL …. The IQ chain goes in the exact opposite sequence, which probably explains most of the Black race’s problems.
January 26, 2012 at 5:39 pm
Damn! You beat me to it….
January 26, 2012 at 7:06 pm
I’m white Brit and am happily married to a beautiful, elegant black woman for 18 years. We have 3 wonderful chilldren. You obviously need some grotesque carthasis from bad-mouthing people,but you certainly don’t speak for me or any other wm who actually know something abt bw.
February 2, 2012 at 10:55 am
Re: Is marriage for white people?
Has it ever crossed the authors’ minds that this is what happens when the government thinks it can be a better husband, father, and provider than anybody else?
This is the legacy of the welfare state that Obama thinks is so swell: broken families, poverty, and black women who often have to “marry down” if they wish to marry at all.
January 26, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Ralph Richard Banks.! You piece of work! Open your eyes! You wanna know the fault here? Lyndon Johnson D Texas! That’s who! Prior to Johnson, there was pervasive societal racism in the country. Johnson’s cure is just as poisonous as the disease (of racism), just in a different way! The sad fact is Black Americans embraces this poisonous pill and loved it until it practically destroyed us as a people!
YES, I SAID US! I’m BLACK!
I could go into great detail of the fallout from Johnson’s Great Society, but I’ve said enough already.
Oh yea, you know what President Johnson said about the Voting Right’s Act?
“I’ll have those ni**ers voting Democratic for the next 200 years”
You wanna know the cure for all this! BAN THE DEMOCRAT PARTY!
Do it for the children!
January 26, 2012 at 4:36 pm
I couldn’t agree more. LBJ has done more damage to Blacks than anyone on record. Talk about social engineering.
January 26, 2012 at 4:43 pm
You must be Clarence Thomas.
January 26, 2012 at 6:27 pm
Yeah. A highly educated and literate man who reached the very pinacle of his proffession. A man who would be an OUTSTANDING role model for any child, but especially young black boys. Instead you get criminals like Tupac held up as the role model.
January 26, 2012 at 7:34 pm
@The New Order,
WRONG! Care to offer an intelligent response this time?
January 26, 2012 at 9:34 pm
To just a guy, I get so damned depressed and discouraged sometimes, and then I come across your post. You, singlehandedly, restore my faith in my fellow Am’ericans. You could be purple with yellow polka-dots for all I care. Someone’s skin color has never been a determining factor for anything in my life, but it puts a smile on my face to learn that you speak from experience concerning the ‘black’ race. Too often, young blacks can be as ignorant and dangerously stupid as whites concerning society’s obligation to correcting society’s injustices in history, yet the most intelligent responses ever come directly from you (as a subject of the current topic) and some others like Thomas Sowell, Walter E. Williams, Shelby Steele,, and many others. Bravo, bro. Well said ,indeed.
January 26, 2012 at 9:56 pm
How do you break the cycle? Many of these black men grow up without men in their lives to show them how real men should act. A little self-discipline, hard work and perseverance can go a long way. Ending the drug war would help as well. Locking someone up for a non-violent drug offense doesn’t help the person, their family or their community.
January 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I read an article a couple of years are about this same topic, but they had some numbers to go along with it. The numbers are 17% of White women marry Black men. And oddly enough 17% of White men marry Asian women. The two groups that are being left out are the Black women and the Asian men. The problem is those two groups just don’t, in my opinion, seem like a good match, but its better than living alone…well maybe not!
January 26, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Umm, are you sure that’s true? There are six times as many White women in the US as Black men which would mean that (17% x 6 = 102%) 102% of all black men who get married marry White women. Of course if they were polygamous that wouldn’t apply…
January 26, 2012 at 5:16 pm
yep, those numbers of ron300 are bogus.
January 26, 2012 at 6:04 pm
LOL You must have pulled that number out of your ax. There are hardly enough married black men or Asian women for those numbers to work out. Asian women are 2.5% of the US population. White men are over 30% of the US population. So 200% of Asian women married white men. Therefore, there are no marriages between Asians in the entire US
January 26, 2012 at 6:24 pm
Here, watch this: “Is Marriage for Chinese People?”. Or how about this: “Is Marriage for Indian People?”. Or even if you can consider it, “Is Marriage for Hispanic People?”
See how ridiculous the title of the book is? It’s not even about white, chinese, hispanic, or indian people, but the author just has to drag in white people to sell a book about blacks.
God, when will blacks stop race baiting whites?
January 26, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Race baiting is the most profitable industry for blacks without athletic or rapping skillz
January 26, 2012 at 6:21 pm
“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”
- Socrates
———— http://911essentials.com
January 26, 2012 at 4:45 pm
The truth is a lot of Africian Americian men don’t want to have a committed relationship to one women. They have what my dad used today loose shoes.
January 26, 2012 at 4:53 pm
The author is black or biracial for those of you who think he’s a racist white guy. The title is provocative, but it got people talking.
January 26, 2012 at 5:10 pm
It just exasperate me that the negativity taking place in the black community is wholly preventable.
1st: Stop selling your soul to the Democrat Party
2nd: Do Not look to government for your solutions
3rd: Decide that single parenthood is NOT a perfectly acceptable alternative to raising your children in a 2 parent household.
4th: With number 3 at a goal, make adult choices when you’re involved in relationships and social life.
In other words, take responsibility/blame for your own choices and decide to make healthy choices. And anyone who tells you all this is rubbish, run away from that person as fast as you can!
January 26, 2012 at 5:18 pm
So if it was a white guy who wrote the same thing it would be racist?
January 26, 2012 at 6:20 pm
How dare you to even bring it up the thought!
Report to reeducation camp train cattle car #676-98556.
At arrival you’ll be processed thru PC approved defanging and declawing, then proceed to Uranium Mines.
Lovingly.
Comrade Stalin
January 26, 2012 at 9:46 pm
A simple solution. No sex until marriage.
January 26, 2012 at 5:13 pm
Feminism has taught men one thing. They can get all the goodies of marriage without the responsiblity. Why pay for the milk when it’s free? An old saying, but just as true today as it was years ago. Sex is too easy or rather girls are too easy nowadays. There are still good men out there, but they are not the ones women seek. You definitely cannot meet a good man in a bar.
January 26, 2012 at 5:15 pm
So true. Where can a good man find a good woman or vice versa? Maybe at work, health club, or religious service.
January 26, 2012 at 6:19 pm
So because I go to bars once in a while that means I’m not a good man? Gee, thanks for letting me know. So tell me, what percentage of men do you think has never been to a bar or club?
January 26, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Mandatory birth control for all unmarrieds.
January 26, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Where all the black women at?
January 26, 2012 at 5:16 pm
We be at Popeye’s wif our 11 chirrens.
January 26, 2012 at 5:52 pm
The African Americans have been listening to to hateful RACIST Jack@zz like this leftwing prof for the last 40 years and this is why the AA’s overflow in our jails, lead in single mom housholds, are at the bottom of the job/income market.Etc etc etc.
TIME to stop listening to these social justice enablers! Rekindle the family stop whoring around & restore pride. Go back 40 yrs agobefore the LIEberal bs of you need th gov. Yes the mothr may have worked long hours scrubbing floors BUT there was usually a father there & the kids werent rasied by gangs!
January 26, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Au Contraire. My mom grew up in the 30′s in NC and she said blacks never married back then, either.
January 26, 2012 at 6:35 pm
I heard JesseJ about 10 years ago say that he was in DC walking through his car one night and had just pulled out his keys and heard someone behind him. He turned and breathed a sigh of relief to find that it was a white guy instead of a black guy.
Believe it or not.
January 27, 2012 at 12:58 am
No sex unless you are married.
That will bring back romance.
January 26, 2012 at 5:18 pm
I’m a white guy, two degrees, making 6 figures annually, very spiritual-minded, but I’ve basically given up after 30 years of looking. Most women today seem to prefer a man who they can stay one step ahead of — smart enough to make a good living, but not smart enough to avoid getting bossed around. I like women of all kinds, smart or otherwise, but the “new liberation” leaves me out of the loop.
January 26, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Same here. I have two grad degrees and am 38 and single. I see no point in getting married when your “partner” spends her life trying to take advantage of you.
January 26, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Should Black Men Keep Jumping?…..soon to be out
January 26, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Anybody who wants to get married should quit worrying about the odds and ignore the media’s false message that true love is so elusive and unusual. You only need one partner. You’re a person not a statistic and you deserve to be happy as much as anyone else.
January 26, 2012 at 5:34 pm
meh, Im a white guy and happily married, but I know alot of white guys that marry foreign women cause the native white chicks are too spoiled.
With 74% of black babies born out of wedlock to welfare queens, I didnt realize that many back women even wanted to get married anymore, cause that cuts off all the free benefits.
I do feel bad for em though, the fed gov had been successful a totally destroying the black family. By paying women to crank out babies and NOT get married.
January 26, 2012 at 5:39 pm
White American women want to be like men in almost every way and care mostly about money. That is why I married a foreign woman. Agree on welfare destryoying the black family too. Thanks, LBJ and the democrats.
January 26, 2012 at 6:23 pm
I’m looking for a foreign wife who only knows 2 words ‘Yes, Master’.
January 26, 2012 at 6:39 pm
“Banks points out another challenge to black women. African American men tend to be more open than black women are to dating outside their race.”
Inter-racial marriaage will not solve the social and employment ills of the American black male. 4 generations of LBJ’s heralded “Great Society” have kept black males in a place that black women have come to accept. Most black women in the US want not much to do with unemployed black males from inner cities or from backgrounds with single parent mothers.
As late as the mid 1990′s most of the black women and men in northern Mississippi wanted nothing to do with each other duiring our massive hiring in the gaming industry. Unemployment was over 35% and dropped to less than 10% in 8 years. Most of our black female hires were 3d and 4th generation single parent mothers who had no use for any man, black or white. Our largest HR headache was the black women not wanting any instruction or diirection from any “male” authority. These women have been the “family” authority for years, and it’s still not changed, or changing.
The author of this article lives in a Caifornis and Harvard dream state if he believes his tome in any eway approaches reality in either the black or white universe.
January 26, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Is Civilization for Black People?
January 26, 2012 at 5:45 pm
Well, can I as a pretty blonde white college girl go by myself to a black bar after midnight and park a block away and get home safely to my white suburb? If yes, they are civilzed.
January 26, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Yes, you can. JUST BRING YOUR GLOCK.
January 26, 2012 at 8:16 pm
Are you sure these statistics aren’t skewed by people like newt gingrich and rush limbaugh who have multiple wives?
January 26, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Marriage for white people? Probably.
Is civilization for white people? Judging by Detroit and parts of Chicago, yes.
http://www.sbpdl.com
January 26, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Forced integration has decimated the stability of all races.Voluntary integration is fine.You can know a tree by it’s fruit. What tree has birthed the forced integration movement? Answer, the media,the ACLU and the NAACP. Jesus said a bad tree bears no good fruit. Are the media correct about anything? Time to look for new answers people other than the wicked media.
January 26, 2012 at 5:49 pm
I cannot believe the title of this guy’s book. All “White” people are no more the same than all “Black” people or any of the other so-called “races”. Is it going to take a visit from nine legged, two headed, silicon based life forms from outer space to get us all to realize there is only one race on this rock. The human race. People are all different and all the same. The people who are different in the same way hang together, marry each other, etc. If we don’t stop letting the media force us into their twisted version of “political correctness” I don’t know what is gonna happen but it won’t be good… for any “color” of person
January 26, 2012 at 5:50 pm
What you sense is a coming “holocaust”,to be perpetrated by “state” sponsorship.It IS the logical extrapolation of this race baiting in reverse.
January 26, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Blame the libs, this all started with the “good intention” of welfare and the government became the Daddy. The culture went down from there to the point where it is ok for the blacks to be racists.
January 26, 2012 at 5:50 pm
Too true. The blame lies at the feet of Lyndon Johnson and all decmocrats for the past 80 years. Good job running us into the ditch guys. Now give us back the keys and ride in the backseat.
January 26, 2012 at 6:18 pm
More racism from establishment BigMedia and BigAcademia. Both the reporter and the author need re-education for their failed indoctrination. Don’t you know that there are no differences between races you BIGOTS!?
January 26, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Many black males would rather be “players” than “stayers”.
January 26, 2012 at 6:05 pm
I am a 41 year old, white, successful small business owner who is married to a beautiful, educated, FINE black woman. We have three precious little biracial little girls, and live in the DEEP South. Come on down, ladies. I got some buddies I can hook you up with….
January 26, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Racial thinking is not scientific so there are no hard criteria besides subjective and often supremely unjust assumptions which are reinforced when people employ it to group themselves or others in any meaningful way.
If any african heredity makes one “black” , then WE’RE ALL BLACK.
Seriously. Google it.
January 26, 2012 at 6:10 pm
I think that theory about all people coming from Africa is outdated. Seriously. Google it.
January 26, 2012 at 6:16 pm
Alright, I did. There is indeed some recent evidence causing controversy in academic circles. This adds to the rival controversies about creationism, Atlantis, and space alien manipulation. Maybe chimp & bonobo density will reveal at least a guide to the perplexed.
That was not my main point though. Race just isn’t a scientific reality.
January 26, 2012 at 7:18 pm
The reason why no one will date black women is because they look like monkeys. Truth.
January 26, 2012 at 6:11 pm
And they chimpout all the time.
January 26, 2012 at 6:46 pm
The stupid writer forgot about Asians and Latinos, who also marry at the same rates as whites. In fact, people all around the world get married. Maybe it should be titled “Is Marriage Not For Black People?”
January 26, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Ask Hi-Jackson and sharpton,they’re your “reverends”
January 26, 2012 at 6:14 pm
As long as they aren’t overweight, black women are hot. I’d have no problem marrying one. On another note, the article failed to mention that the reason that there are no good black men to marry is that LBJ and his “great soceity” welfare program destroyed the black communities. Thanks democrats. Seeing what has happened to black communities since the 1960′s, I hope these women are voting republican.
January 26, 2012 at 6:15 pm
Blacks are a cursed race, it says so in the bible.
January 26, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Ha! Another fake racist trolling away . . .
Show me the verses in the bible that says that black people are under a curse.
January 26, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Ha! Another negro disputing common sense. Don’t flash mob him, YO.
January 26, 2012 at 8:14 pm
Yo! Where the white women at!
January 26, 2012 at 6:33 pm
How racist this article is. . . as a white woman . . . if an intelligent and kind black man had swept me off my feet . . . yep, I would have married him . . . if my white son fell in love with a black, hispanic, asian or other race woman and she made him happy then I would cheer them both . . . it does not matter today . . . follow your heart and just be happy with the whole darn human race:)
January 26, 2012 at 6:41 pm
The major problem is black male racism. They reject as a marriage partner any woman who is darker than themselves. White is best.
Look on the streets and in the bars.
Movies and ads almost NEVER pair a black men with a darker women.
What’s up?
And, for those biracial couples happily raising biracial daughters, what is their future?
January 26, 2012 at 6:46 pm
Here’s what no one will say. Black and white men aren’t attracted to black women because of their ATTITUDE. The only black women I find attractive are the fit and educated who act like normal people. No snappy fingers, no “you go girl”, just a normal, physically fit, sweet, and intelligent woman. News flash for ya, not a lot out there fitting that description and guess what? That’s right, they usually have a guy.
It’s the ridiculous culture that celebrates black men raining money on the club instead of investing it. Wasting their time trying to be a rap star instead of getting a career and working their way into success. It has them using white women as a status symbol. It has them thinking promiscuity is not only acceptable, but applaudable. It has them celebrating all the wrong things and it gets them in jail.
Then you have the “sistah” who thinks their whole life has to be some strong and proud Tyler Perry movie.
January 26, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Most black men want white women. Where I live there are more black men with white women than black women with black men. Well actually they are with a plethora of white women who all think they are the only one. Look at your TV. You see white women with black men everywhere. Black men like white women because white women are enamored with their color (black) and let them walk all over them. Black women don’t.
January 26, 2012 at 6:54 pm
I think the real reason is that most black men don’t want a wife. They want a girl friend and preferably a string of girl friends.
A secondary issue for these women in particular is that if you a not young and hot, most guys who are looking for a girl friend aren’t going to be looking at you.
I know that sucks but that’s life in the big city.
I would say that the best bet for a black woman who is looking for black man to marry would be to get involved in a large black church. In my opinion that would be good place to look for men who have the spiritual mindset to value marriage and family – and hence be looking for someone like you. That’s where my wife found me and we have been happily married for eight years now.
January 26, 2012 at 6:56 pm
By the time these ladies are in their late 20′s or 30′s, all the men who they might to marry have already married women who chose not to put their career first, but decided to make finding a man to marry a priority. It’s not sexist to say this, it’s just a reality.
January 26, 2012 at 7:06 pm
Those who see things primarily through race are racists by definition. I’m having a bit of trouble accepting his fundamental premise – that women that are black should naturally date and marry men that are black. Dating and marrying someone who isn’t part of their race is still “controversial?” I understand that someone may not find someone else attractive based on many factors, including their appearance, but to assume that it’s a “natural” condition is a bit off-base. People are individuals with their own experiences based on their life, not skin color.
http://www.zazzle.com/FirstPrinciples?rf=238518351914519699
January 26, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Sorry, but neither of these ladies are physically attractive, which is (usually) more important to men than education or career success. It is what it is.
January 26, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Problem with marriage in its entirety is that the risk is greater than the reward. When it comes to the small pool of feasible black men… Pretty understandable, how many of those guys you saw on TV mobbing stores and robbing people for shoes would you consider? Say you’re a middle class black woman, are you going to date someone who picks you up in a car with 27″ rims and spinners?
January 26, 2012 at 7:15 pm
So black women can’t marry white men? This book and article are so racist it is beyond offensive.
January 26, 2012 at 7:17 pm
So proud of the black woman who refuses to date outside her race!
Interracial dating is Not the answer. White women are affected by the same trends….too many white women have degrees in Communications and then they say “Oh I have a college degree” and suddenly they are too good to date any male without a college education…..Never Realizing that a Degree in Communications or women’s Studies is No Degree At All!!!
Too high expectations. Black women are being affected by the same thing. It’s a tragedy. Heck! I’m in the same position as these women.
January 26, 2012 at 7:18 pm
College educated; no felonies, ram 1500 for weekend toy and commuter car both paid for. own my home and have only one creditcard and child (19).
I’ve already bought one woman a home why would I want to repeat. Men are opting out of this arrangement with a conscious decision. IT is what it is.
Also, this is not limited to black men. ALL MEN are opting out and I don’t blame them. Change the divorce laws and you might save it but as it stand now. NO WAY!!!
Don’t ignore the realities of marriage/divorce.
January 26, 2012 at 7:26 pm
You hit the nail on the head. I hear of more and more young couples saying No to marriage, and Yes to kids and living together (until they decide it’s over). I’m guessing that they’re saying to themselves, Why does it matter if we get married? We’ll just get divorced. Then we’ll have to split up the assets, which will destroy us both financially.
And, to add, and I know women will dog-pile on me for saying this, but I think most women enslave men to their jobs by overspending. I don’t think they necessarily realize this, but every time they swipe the credit card, someone has to pay for their expensive hair styling and that “just one more” pair of shoes. Financial experts (and advertisers) have long noted that women rule the finances at the home, and dictate most of the spending decisions in the household. I know several men who would be on easy street financially if they were in charge of the finances, but they let their wives manage it because they know it’s an addiction for the wife, and “well, she’s happy” … for now. But when it blows up, when the marriage hits the rocks, she then decides to “Hit Him Up Style” (google that song, if you don’t remember it). It’s devastating for the kids, destroys the man, and in turn hurts her too.
I can see why fewer and fewer men want to get married.
But I’m relieved that’s not my story. We’re happy, and we’re responsible, and we wouldn’t hurt each other, but I know it’s rare. And I feel lucky.
January 26, 2012 at 8:35 pm
I should add, there are women who are “jewels” out there. I was in a store the other day and this woman was pushing a cart with her two little boys in tow. Her son said, Mommy, you need this? And he was holding up a jar of makeup. She said, “No, honey. You know I don’t wear makeup. I’m beautiful without it. That’s for vain people.” I looked over — a pretty Mom who took care of herself and wasn’t wrapped up in the cosmetics industry’s lies. Now that’s a gem. And all I could think was, When her boys grow up, they’ll be looking for a girl who isn’t vain, is confident in her looks, and is a straight-shooter. Anyone else probably wouldn’t make the cut :) So, keep looking. Don’t give up. And it’s highly doubtful you’ll find a woman like that in a bar or nightclub scene.
January 26, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Blacks had families until the federal government decided to start “helping” them about fifty years ago with minimum wage, welfare, poor schooling, food stamps and the “projects”.
It’s not genetics. It’s the government.
January 26, 2012 at 7:27 pm
Blacks are more racist than whites. Black women “settle” for a non black man but always feel ashamed to take him around her family who is racist.
Black men telll me that they see white women as a trophy..a badge to prove that he can have what whites have.
January 26, 2012 at 7:46 pm
Have Black women heard of Facebook or Twitter?
January 26, 2012 at 7:53 pm
I bartended for years when I was in college (eventually getting my masters in engineering). IF you go into a predominantly black bar, as a white guy you will be hit on constantly. The only reason I could ever come up with is that it was assumed you had a job and went to work every day.
FACT.
January 26, 2012 at 7:54 pm
At just a cursory glance, it seems the government has systematically destroyed the black family rationale. It subsistence programs for black women, payments thereto, and continued payments for children, while dismissing the male factor, began in the Great Society. The typical government solution has been to throw more and more money into single parent families, including an even higher proportion of white women while removing male responsibility and then damning the males, black and white, because they have effectively been removed as a necessity in the family factor. Then society blames those who have been discarded previously as necessary now because government decreed such.
January 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm
If you had whites talking about marrying white to remain ‘pure’, it would be racist, even race supremist. why are such radical views acceptable among blacks?
January 26, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Blacks are taught to be racists. The author of the book is a prof at Stanford, apparently he teaches students there. Many black leaders teach blacks to be racists. It’s fairly common to blame whites for anything and everything, rather than just looking at a problem and solve it without trying to bring in a race of people and deflect attention to them.
Whites are taught not to be racists. I don’t know of any teachers or leaders telling me to blame blacks for my problems. I was taught to deal with my problems and solve them.
January 26, 2012 at 10:31 pm
these guys are racist
January 26, 2012 at 8:05 pm
sound like a bunch of hate literature
January 26, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Black men who are educated, dress white and act white find wives. Unfortunately that is not a good trait in the black social scene. Black women are left with white men or those black men honored by black culture. The ones smoking weed and drinking “40s” with one hand and holding up their pants with the other.
January 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm
Remember the study done last year that concluded that black women are considered unattractive/undesirable? Write a book about that.
January 26, 2012 at 8:12 pm
Not sure which black women you have been seeing, but in places like Atlanta and Miami, there are many more black women that look closer to models than they do to Aunty Jemima’s.
January 27, 2012 at 8:23 am
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I always wanted a cute white, blond and blue eyed beauty on my arm. How do black men do it?
January 26, 2012 at 8:17 pm
Well if you haven’t noticed 9 times out of 10 that blonde hair blue eye’d girl is either extremely ugly, hugely over weight or a combination of the two.
Rarely. Very rarely do you see an attractive white woman with a black guy…
Reason is…attractive white women have no problem at all finding a handsome and attractive white man. So why would they go for a black man?
I’m just telling the truth here.
January 26, 2012 at 10:34 pm
I have several well-educated female friends who are very caring, sweet, quick-witted, but as they would say, “Alas, single.” I also know a few sharp women who married slow-witted men, who are not nearly as industrious as they are, nor do they care about developing their minds or talents. In fact, oddly enough, their husbands are very demanding of them, with housework and expecting them to bring in a certain salary.
On one hand, a person can’t be too picky, with a checklist of must-haves (us ladies are far from perfect). But then we shouldn’t just grab a guy and get hitched either. I don’t know what will work, but I do believe that the more ladies are engaged in extracurricular/community activities, in the neighborhood or abroad, we are likely to meet that larger pool of available men, no matter the race, no matter the age, no matter the nationality.
I count myself as a lucky woman to have found the perfect mate. I don’t know what he sees in me, but I’m no fool, I know a good thing when I see it. We’ve been together for over 20 years, but we act like we just fell head over heels. To hear people talk, this is rare. So I’m incredibly thankful for my husband. I only wish everyone could find the perfect mate.
January 26, 2012 at 8:19 pm
It seems to me that young black men have it made. All they really have to do is graduate high school, stay out of prison, get a reasonable job and not get too fat and they’ll have women beating down their door. Us white or Asian guys have to either be very successful or blessed with good looks to have the same dating opportunities.
January 26, 2012 at 8:23 pm
BLACK WOMEN YALL GOT A PROBLEM!
I’m a well-educated, Latino male and former underwear model. I drool over thick black women that are shaped like Beyonce and I don’t give a flip what shade your black skin is or whether you got “good hair”. But whenever I see a hot black chick, she’s not interested or totally uptight and closed her mind to gentleman like me (I’m told that you sexy black ladies are really sensitive to bruthas tripping out if they see you with a man who’s not black).
F- them! tell your hater men that it’s your life, we’re all fallen souls in God’s eyes equally, and you are a grown woman who can decide for yourself who to date!
Jealous black punks don’t ever trip if they see a dude like me with some obese black girl (then they smile and laugh behind my back). They think all attractive black women are the property of black men. Hypocrites! Then why do many black men chase Asian, Latina and white women?
January 26, 2012 at 8:26 pm
There are several things wrong with this.. the book, the concept.. For starters, the title of the book, “Is Marriage for White People?” There are more than two races in America. In fact, blacks are not even the second largest ethnic group or race here. They are like 12% of the population. The authors knew they couldn’t title the book “Is Marriage for Blacks?” because nobody would publish it; and if they did, it would never get sold.
If you folks want to know why black men in America are impoverished, in jail, etc go take a course on Biology. Black men direct from African are far more likely to be successful here. Why is this? Well consider that the strongest survive, not necessarily the most intelligent. Most blacks in America are descendents of slaves. It’s not difficult to do the math. Slaves had horrid, dangerous lives and I’m willing to bet it was highly competitive for a male to find a mate; unless the males were physically superior.
January 26, 2012 at 8:28 pm
You do have part of the equation but it is verboten to speak of it.
January 26, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Consider that whites (or Latinos or Asians) who grow up in ghettos have the same rates of illiteracy, high school dropout, pregnancy out of wedlock, low unemployment, poor health, high crime and welfare, and so on.
Environment has a greater impact than that dubious “genetics theory.”
Step away from the race issue, step away from the political correctness, and look no further than Ireland. In poor communities, the young women figured out they needed to put on their blinders to what was going on around them, they needed to finish school and move away and get an advanced degree if there was any hope of breaking the cycle of poverty. They figured out that the quickest way to end their dream, to enslave them to the same fate of the classmates, was to get pregnant. Poof would go any chance of moving up in the world. So, as a result, the young women, the jewels, left the town, and the young men, who drank and horsed around, and blew off school, have few young women to choose from, to date, and now there’s a fair amount of violence in these communities. What they need are engaged parents, educators .. and where the bloody hell are the churches that are so pious and preachy about helping the communities and helping young people reach their God-given potential. (The hands and feet of Jesus, my foot!).
So, it’s not genetics, it’s a lack of raising kids to expect much of themselves no matter how little they start out with. It’s a shame, really. And we don’t need another government program. All we need are those closest to these young men — whether they are Irish or American, poor white, or poor black — to bloody well care. Where are the churches? What on earth do they do with all the money meant for outreach? That steams me. There was a time when churches fulfilled their commission.
January 26, 2012 at 9:11 pm
Id like to know why AMERICAN men are going to RUSSIA to find WIVES…..
Makes me kinda sick to know that goes on. But It also tells me that foreign wives will cater to their ever whim..where American women are usually Pretty Independent have jobs and manage to multi task…. and some men want all the attention…Guess I answered my own question.. LOL
January 26, 2012 at 8:30 pm
If you think Russin women cater to their husband’s every whim, you haven’t met any Russian women.
January 26, 2012 at 10:33 pm
it has nothing to do with them being submissive. it has to do with white women feeling entitled to everything. it has to do with women being loud mouthed know it all’s. they try and dictate everything and control every thing. i do not know a man that would put up with it. no wonder the divorce rate is so high!
January 26, 2012 at 10:56 pm
All the good lookn black women are into white guys and I have no problem with that – stupid black dudes are too busy killn each other or selln dope and going to jail. Black ladies are fine in bed..
January 26, 2012 at 8:35 pm
Thats like saying crack, 40′s and rap is only for black…. hey wait…
January 26, 2012 at 8:42 pm
This is just prelude … indications are that fewer and fewer men are going to colleges … some colleges have lowered entrance standards to attract more male students … So, there just may be the same issues awaiting women, all women in a generation or two … People have figured out that having very expensive, useless liberal arts degrees in history, education, political science, social studies, language, art, photography and a hundred other bogus degrees are not very helpful when it comes to actually earning/making a living. Besides, if anyone really wants useful knowledge for direct applications to making money and expanding skills, all one needs to do is sit in front of a computer. With concentration, effort and dedication one could be far better educated in a third the time using the KAHN Academy site … expensive bricks and mortar colleges and other schools are no longer a necessary part of the education equation.
January 26, 2012 at 8:42 pm
You covered a lot. Degrees are overrated, but required (only) if you want to work for someone else. If everyone could be auto-didactic, we’d be in outstanding shape as a country. Congress and the President could go off the rails, with the Fed flubbing up, and we could still innovate ourselves out of any mess. The “brain drain” has worked to our advantage for many years, but some day it will work in reverse, and then you’ll find yourself in a country where we are living off the dividends of the hard work of prior generations. Like Paris Hilton — likely the beginning of the end of the glory days for that once-unstoppable family. The U.S. of Paris Hilton.
Marry the smartest, kindest person you can think of, people. Then raise a great family. And don’t let go for dear life. Risk it all to do it right. You have one life. Don’t worry about arm candy, don’t worry about what other people think, don’t worry about age or race or anything superficial. Make yours a uncommonly good marriage. And maybe, maybe marriage will make a comeback.
January 26, 2012 at 9:21 pm
Most black chicks are fat and talk too loud…heck, they can’t even find BLACK guys that want to date them!
January 26, 2012 at 8:43 pm
most black men are losers no wonder the women do not want them
January 26, 2012 at 8:43 pm
What happened to the use of the hyphen between “African” and “American”? Why would you go out of the way to type out “African American”, capitals included, then simply use “black” (notice no caps) in another? I’ve noticed this in all forms of journalism and wonder what the rules are.
January 26, 2012 at 8:49 pm
Interracial dating just isn’t happening on a mass scale like the media would have you believe. About 98% of ALL RACES exclusively date and marry their own race.
January 26, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Wrong. In California almost 1/2 of all whites, Asians and Hispanics marry outside their group. Only Blacks are in the 20% range.
January 26, 2012 at 9:04 pm
I’d do a black chick. Sure, why not?
January 26, 2012 at 8:59 pm
A
January 26, 2012 at 9:21 pm
I don’t know whether to pity black women or laugh at them.
Blacks are about 12.5% of the U.S. population. That means they’re giving up 7/8 of datable men to “marry a Black man”. Haven’t any of these women ever heard of Martin Luther King Jr.? “…will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
January 26, 2012 at 9:02 pm
White American women are trash. White men don’t even want them (well some dumb white guys do). Black women, if you want a powerful sexy white man all you have to do is treat them decently. White women are incapable of this and they will love you for it.
January 26, 2012 at 9:03 pm
thats no lie! white women have become a pain in the arse! they spend their days complaining about guys because they cant control every aspect of our lives. Most of them want to act like guys…..no wonder white guys go after women of different races. it has nothing to do with other races being submissive it has to do with them being better partners and knowing what marriage really is.
January 26, 2012 at 10:47 pm
Why the controversy? Facts are facts. 70%+ of Obama supporting baby birthers (black women) give birth outside of marriage.
January 26, 2012 at 9:10 pm
Come on African American women, you have *husbands*. It’s your monthly welfare check from the Democrat Party. Keep voting Democrat and you will never be alone.
January 26, 2012 at 9:10 pm
To Black women everywhere:
You need not limit yourselves to black men. Don’t hold yourselves separate. There are myriad men in every ethnic group who would be happy to share their lives with you if you’d only let them in. You don’t have to be alone.
January 26, 2012 at 9:21 pm
Wow, what a pathetic article and concept. Before Welfare, blacks and whites had similar marriage statistics both in the 80th percentile. The MAJORITY of Black children were born into 2 parent families as well.
January 26, 2012 at 9:24 pm
One bit that isn’t mentioned is that single people are generally treated like second class citizens regardless of race.
The older you get the less differences matter.
I’m white and I used to see a latino who actually does not like her own kind because the machismo was a turnoff.
The social stigmata of dating/marrying/having kids with someone of a different religion, race, color,creed etc is over. But that also means there is much more competition than before. Factoring in eventual menopause and a desire to have children and it is no wonder why black women are frustrated.
January 26, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Kind of misleading headline. I thought it was going to say something like Africans, historically don’t have a tradition of marriage like most other cultures. Although I do not know if that to be true.
January 26, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Well, the “rich” black men are all chasing white blonds.
January 26, 2012 at 9:31 pm
OK 200 posts and not one person has brought up the fact that black guys have the biggest genitals? That is the real reason black men are so successful in the interracial dating scene. Women don’t “need” men anymore, they “want” men, so they can afford to be more superficial in their criteria.
January 26, 2012 at 9:32 pm
Robert Deniro is stealing all of the black women !
January 26, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Keep the races separate! One cannot immigrate into Israel unless they are a Joo by blood – yet they are the ones behind all the mixing of races propaganda.
January 26, 2012 at 9:37 pm
What a surprise some guy happily imprisoned in a university wrote this bilge.
January 26, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Negroes ….. They’re why Africa is Africa. The vast majority of them will never conform to American culture and traditions. Quit expecting them to.
January 26, 2012 at 9:41 pm
ACTA ‘Is More Dangerous Than SOPA’ More at http://www.presswarp.com
January 26, 2012 at 9:52 pm
The book may smack of of racism, but I know more than a few black women who complain about the same things that the women in this article complain about. The fault lies directly with the Democrat Party that has managed to play the role of Big Daddy government and has assumed all responsibility and removed it from the would-be husbands and father’s inside inner city black communities. Ain’t well fare state living grand?! When the vast majority of a single race votes in lock step for a party that would rather make them easy in poverty than to drive them from this is what happens. Rep. Allen West said it best, “My race has simple traded one plantation for another. The Democrat plantation.
January 26, 2012 at 10:00 pm
It wasn’t like this 60 years ago. Before LBJ and the Great Society, black families were intact. Most households were stable 2-parent families.
Then certain politicians decided to pay young girls to have fatherless children. The very same people they were pretending to ‘help’ are now suffering as a result.
January 26, 2012 at 10:06 pm
I agree with the comments from the people above: Mommielynda, Fiscalconservative, Justaguy, prudnot2bliberal, thanksdeoocrats, & justaguy.
You guys are right. I wish people would listen to you.
Going to church & getting your priorities straight will help you improve your life in every aspect. Don’t think that church goers are stupid, they have it right and work hard to stay on the right path, please God and for that God blesses them.
It could work for you. Check out the book: THE MESSAGE, it is the Bible in easy to read & understand language.
January 26, 2012 at 10:11 pm
If you limit your dating to one race, you are limiting yourself.
January 26, 2012 at 10:18 pm
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If typical black women are like the type of ballbusters you see on programs like The View, I’d run away from them as fast as I could no matter what my color. Not that the liberal horsefaced white women on that program are any better, but at least I know not all white women are like that.
January 26, 2012 at 10:24 pm
White, arab-american male here with white wife. Both of our good looking children are in great careers, well educated and all but both picked loser spouses – one guy a slacker still reads comic books and the girl is a snob and supposedly shy and a liberal democrat drinks lotsa beer.
So I guess whites aren’t choosey?
My experience talking to white and some black females single of all ages that there are not many good guys left – the good ones are married.
So not just a black thing – the prison and pants on the ground thing are possible problems for black chicks odds. White guys are doin pants on ground too. Oh guys with tats and pierces lowers the gene pool also.
It is what it is.
January 26, 2012 at 10:37 pm
I Realize my comment is probably going to be read by only two or three people, but i have an opinion.. I’ve been to Africa.. there are probably the gorgiest African Men and Women there.. seriously, they are most beautiful inside and out.. some of them are educated and have wealth of experience and are very spiritual and gifted.. some of them dream to live in America (alot) Go for a short term mission trip.. and get yourself a fine young man (woman) and LOVE THEM! They will change your life forever..
January 27, 2012 at 12:57 am
Marriage may be for white people but having babies isn’t.
Blacks are reproducing at a higher rate than whites in the US.
You don’t need marriage to have kids.
January 27, 2012 at 1:36 am
Most men are lying, cheating, lazy addicts….and they come in all colors. Stay single, go to school and be a single mom; you already have an a hole on the bottom of you; why do you need another one?
January 27, 2012 at 2:36 am
Miss Andrism, party of one.
January 27, 2012 at 8:14 am
“America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold:
its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life.
If we can undermine these three areas,
America will collapse from within.” – Josef Stalin
January 27, 2012 at 2:49 am
. Macromedia Dreamweaver 8 Web- Macromedia Dreamweaver 8. WEB-, . 14- Web-. , , , , , Web-: , . , , Web-. , .
Web-
January 27, 2012 at 6:47 am
Black women are racist and always so angry. So very angry.
January 27, 2012 at 8:13 am
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Pingback: Is marriage only for White People? The demise of the single black woman...
Which one again raises the question what is it really to be a black person and why is it even though it appears to be the case, that in actuality many black people are sidelined and hardly given legitimacy for their actions, accomplishments, save as long as they behave, act, look or say what is expected of them.
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/01/is-marriage-only-for-white-people-the-demise-of-the-single-black-woman/
January 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm
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I don’ts want to get married never. I jus wants to keep on getting my checks.
January 28, 2012 at 11:53 am
Many of the comments on this thread directed at black men and African American are utterly and ridiculously false, and I am ashamed that black women would fall for this propaganda.
February 1, 2012 at 11:17 am
The more proper question is this:
“Is or prosperity or happiness for the pig Ralph Richard Banks”?
The answer is no. Let this destroyer of the White Europeans be vilified and decline.
February 1, 2012 at 7:33 pm
It is very interesting how the word” educated” is often used when it comes to single black women. You never hear the ” educated white woman”, “the educated latino woman, “the educated asian woman”, etc……… so why is it highlighted when it is a black woman?
I say that it used to alienate black women from black men. To somehow make it seem that since you are educated you are better quality, and therefore not suitable to just the average working class black man. I look at hispanic couples in America. Most of the time these men do hard labor, mainly blue collar, the women if they work do domestics, but when you see them they are almost always coupled off, as a family raising their children together, and they look happy. So then I ask myself is education all that important or that glue that attracts a man, makes him want to commit to you and only you, and the answer I keep coming up with is NO.
Another case in point, have black women ever noticed that the educated black man’s woman of choice often times is not educated, be she black or white or in between? So I guess this educated label is not worth a hill of beans when it comes to getting a man to fall in love with you and do right by you that is of your standards as an educated black woman.
Realtionships are hard. There are people of all races, genders, class, walking the earth without that one true love, why do you think all these dating sites are so popular. You have even older sites for older divorced or singles looking for love so why do you think that being educated and a good woman is all it takes. There are millions of educated white, asian, latino, woman single looking for love too, so what it all boils down to is finding that peace within to be happy with or without that special someone. Being single is not a curse, sometimes its a blessing. Just open your selves up to dating more men outside your race and who knows what will happen.
February 5, 2012 at 8:47 pm
So why would you want black men if, as you say, “the Fat/Trashy white women that is taking away all the black men?!”
January 26, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Wow — the author of this book is a RACIST. It makes me ashamed that he teaches at my alma mater.
January 26, 2012 at 4:44 pm
I remember seeing that episode
January 26, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Take your racism somewhere else.
January 26, 2012 at 5:19 pm
ConcernedBlkWoman is clearly an educated woman, who most likely does not have three kids with three different baby daddies. Did you even read the article? There are more educated black women than educated black men, and the educated women don’t want the uneducated men for obvious reasons. That leaves a much smaller pool of available black men, and more competition from women of other races.
January 26, 2012 at 6:04 pm
As Cindy stated I do not have 3 children with 3 “baby daddies”. I don’t even use such language. If I had a child the man would be his father and not his ‘baby daddy’. I don’t believe in having children out of wedlock and would never allow myself to get pregnant if I were not married.
You are absolutely correct No educated black man would want a woman with 3 kids and 3 fathers. I am not that woman. I am a professional just like he is. We are supposed to be on the same level.
January 27, 2012 at 10:35 am
They called it intergration. The Social Engineers of the 60′s wanted it this way. Now, amost everyday, I see a white girl ferrying around a black guy in car or in a restauant. I’m sure he doesn’t have a job, because she pays for it. I don’t think many black women would put up with it.
January 26, 2012 at 6:10 pm
LOL!
January 26, 2012 at 9:34 pm
I hear ya! LOL
January 27, 2012 at 3:40 am
Thank You Cindy.
It’s sad to see so much racism and ignorance on display here.
January 27, 2012 at 10:36 am
You are absolutely right WE Wont put up with it. Some of these comments have been so racist and off the mark that is really very funny.
First, being so called successful without a man is not a black womans problem- its an AMERICAN WOMAN PROBLEM, dummies this is why Sex in the City was so darn popular amounst ALL WOMEN OF ALL RACES.
Secondly, to Concerned Black Woman, I really do hear you, but really, do so called educated black women really think they deserve a medal for not having a child out of wedlock? So what, I have had a very beautiful daughter out of wedlock and I dont have a problem getting any man, at all. I personally know several educated sisters whoms attitudes are so stank that not even a white man would want them. As a black woman that is very sucessful financially, I have never had a classist attitude about myself, so I naturally attract good men of all races. Personally I am sick of all this educated black woman , black men with white women stuff that i could scream. And you are very wrong about white men not wanting to date black women, I see it all the time here in Atlanta, and its mainly the very afrocentric looking black woman, not the fake weave in the head, contact wearing, type of black woman, but the natural confident black woman.
If all whites think that only black women are having babies out of wedlock, i invite them to go to any local DFACS office in Georgia, there they will find all the white women signing up for checks , medicaid, foodstamps, with no man in tow. So broken families goes all across the board as far as I am concerned.And if they want more proof, just turn on the tube and catch an episode of Teen Mom, living proof of the disfunctional white family.
I read banks book and I loved it. Black women have been loyal to a race of men that have been unloyal, and it is time for us to expand our dating pool. That does not mean EXCLUDE all black men, it simply means explore our options like all other races of women do. I just met a very handsome white man, that knows that I am a single mother and has no problem with it, and he is a CEO of a huge company, and he admires my strength and intelligence.
Men are men, and women are women…………………. so if the educated black woman has any common sense, she will start dating outside her race, open up her options, or continue being that lonely but educated black women with no children to leave a legacy to, just a bunch of lonely educated black girlfriends to grow old with constantly being let down by black men.
February 2, 2012 at 9:11 pm