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Baffoe: Let’s Mock People Attracted To Aaron Hernandez

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Aaron Hernandez.  (Photo by J. Meric/Getty Images)

Aaron Hernandez. (Photo by J. Meric/Getty Images)

Tim Baffoe - clean background Tim Baffoe
Tim Baffoe attended the University of Iowa before earning his de...
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By Tim Baffoe-

(CBS) When I wrote last week about all the bad jokes being made about Aaron Hernandez, I at least understood that such people weren’t attempting to extract anything redeeming about the situation.

Unfortunately, there are many misguided, if not downright reprehensible, people out there lamenting not the impact this murder case will have on their fantasy football team, but instead the incarceration of an updated version of OH AN HE SEXY.

I first came across someone noting not how terrible it is that a man is dead, or even that a promising career is likely over, but rather that hotness has been wasted when I saw this:

Perhaps that’s just a taste of what you can find in Miss Castro’s upcoming book, The Modern Girl’s Guide to the Gridiron. Because I guess women need gender-specific reading to understand the sports things because, like, there’s so much more than those cute tight pants and stuff.

But, hey, isolated ignorance, I thought. Later that day, though, comedian Neil Hamburger began retweeting more and more people who find murder not to be the biggest crime in all this. If you’ve ever wondered how serial killers and other prisoners can get letters from incredibly pathetic strangers promising marriage, this is how. It’s what Tommy Tomlinson wrote about regarding the beautiful women at Rae Carruth’s trial: “It reminded me again of the raw sexual power that a great athlete can have — even one charged with putting out a hit on his pregnant girlfriend.”

For being a detriment to every female who has worked so hard to break down stereotypes in the sports world, these folks deserve a public shaming. So come along as we put the microscope on some seriously misguided people whose parents have failed hard.

Nope. You have many terrible peers below.

No justice, no peace.

Thank you for not jumping to conclusion like THE LAMESTREAM MEDIA.

Excuse me, but we have a little something called due process here in the U.S. of A. He’s not legally a murderer yet. A little respect, please?

James Madison waxed on an issue like this in the Federalist Papers.

This young lady quotes Proverbs 31:25 in her profile. “She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.” I’m not so sure she knows what dignity is.

Another Bible reference in a profile. OH AN SHE HOLY.

Call your congressman and demand new laws on sexiness and incarceration. The government is taking away our sexy freedoms. I could be next!

Tonight on Piers Morgan Live, @BBLONDESPARKLE and @lovelee_ladee debate the role sexiness should play in jail sentences. Plus, birthday girl Claire Forlani talks about frightening people in her confusing Scotch ads. 9 ET/PT. Only on CNN.

There needs to be a fundraising ad campaign for our endangered species. Call Sarah McLachlan.

Well, maybe this is an otherwise intelligent girl who—

Nevermind.

I will go out on a limb and guess you’ll be a working a job that will take a long time to accumulate that bail money.

I know, right? You’d think a murder charge would be a turn off, but not when you’re extremely shallow. Hahaha.

IRONY: 1. a. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
b. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
c. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect.

2. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.

3. Having your stunningly bad tweet favorited by someone named “Pray for Boston.”

I wonder if Odin Lloyd’s loved ones have ever thought, “Well, yeah, Hernandez did kill the man we care about. But he is really fine. Idc idc!!!”

Bad boy in a good way is one charged with manslaughter, just so you know.

I’d make a Ted Bundy joke here, but there’s no chance this girl even knows who Al Bundy is.

Might we interest you in some jury duty, madam?

It’s like he stole my heart, put it in a car, drove it to a remote area, shot it a few times, then dumped it somewhere else and destroyed evidence. <3<3<3

Right? Like only ugly peeps go to tha jailz!

No, we don’t want him to shoot anymore, that’s the thing.

And not go to jail cuz you to fine for dat, gurl!

If you’re into that forcibly-removed-from-bed-and-cuffed sheik.

Is it okay if we don’t care if you choose to enter a relationship in the future that winds up with you murdered?

Or gay. Don’t forget gay.

See?

Do you understand that this might cause some people to lose respect for you?

Oh, okay then.

Because otherwise he’d being worthy of your pious self, crucifix next to your name.

I’m just going to let that avatar marinate with the reader.

And these are just the tip of an incredibly awful iceberg. I couldn’t even include the profane ones. A round of applause for these great people. May they never procreate.

tim baffoe small Baffoe: Let’s Mock People Attracted To Aaron Hernandez

Tim Baffoe

Tim Baffoe attended the University of Iowa before earning his degree from Governors State University and began blogging at The Score after winning the 2011 Pepsi Max Score Search. He enjoys writing things about stuff, but not so much stuff about things. When not writing for 670TheScore.com, Tim corrupts America’s youth as a high school English teacher and provides a great service to his South Side community delivering pizzas (please tip him and his colleagues well). You can follow Tim’s inappropriate brain droppings on Twitter @TimBaffoe , but please don’t follow him in real life. He grew up in Chicago’s Beverly To read more of Tim’s blogs click here.

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