NFL Launches 'Counseling Centers' For Bears Fans

By John Dodge

CHICAGO (CBS) -- In an ongoing effort to improve community outreach to under-served cities, the National Football Leauge is launching a first-of-its-kind counseling center to help Bears fans cope in the event of another blowout loss.

"With this new facility, which is open 24 hours a day, fans will be able to come in and talk through feelings of severe depression, anxiety, grief, anger, and hopelessness with our highly trained staff in a supportive, confidential setting," NFL spokesman Greg Aiello, said in an interview with The Onion, which first reported the news.

According to well-placed league sources, the counseling centers were not supposed to be available in select cities until next season.

However, the league went into "rapid response" mode after the Monsters of the Midway gave up 106 points in losses against Green Bay and New England, a source told me. Even the horribly bad team of 1969 gave up fewer points.

Earlier in the week, The Onion erroneously reported that Jay Cutler blames "the punter" for the team's troubles.

While the embattled quarterback did not address The Onion report directly, he did say at a news conference on Thursday that "We've just got to get better and it starts with me."

Further investigation by the CBS 2 interns discovered that most, if not all, Onion articles are fake--although many people seem to think they are real.