"You're the guy..." "No! You're the guy..." Ever notice how hearts look like butts?(Credit: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

Horrible (Love) Horoscopes: Leo & Pisces

Pisces, we all know you’d lie (and lay) your mother right into a shallow grave–telling her everything’s going to be alright as you shovel dirt onto her face–if it meant getting ahead in the world. And Leo, you’re no lion – your roar lacks its bite. You might have a great smile and a tender heart, but you couldn’t scare a Middle Eastern bully if your lunch money depended on it…