By Mason Johnson
How is Chicago seen through the eyes of YouTube? Through hours of research, Mason Johnson attempts to answer that very question as if he’s an anthropologist. Except he’s not an anthropologist. He’s an idiot.
What’s the scariest thing about Chicago? The violence? Dirty CTA seats? Ketchup on a hot dog? Or is it…
… Jan Terri?
That was rhetorical. You weren’t supposed to answer that. The answer is Jan Terri. She is the scariest.
BECAUSE OF HOW WICKED TALENTED SHE IS.
To prove this, here’s a glimpse of her Halloween hit “Get Down Goblin” (note, it starts at about 25 seconds in):
ISN’T IT PERFECT? HASN’T IT TAKEN YOUR EARTHLY HALLOWEEN AND KICKED IT INTO SPACE?
Yeah, it’s pretty great.
I challenge you to find something that isn’t perfect about it.
The black & white was the perfect choice for this spooky piece. It really does a good job of representing man’s duality – good and evil, dark and light, always at odds.
And the music! It’s got a classic pop beat that makes forces you to tap your foot, whether you want to or not. Yet, at the same time, its repetitious beats also make you want to hit the streets and attack every person who comes near you — scratching at faces, kicking groins, biting people if you need to…
This is the perfect feeling for a Halloween song.
I swear, if I hear that fake trumpet sound in this song one more time I’m going to go on a murder spree.
The lyrics! Get. Down. Goblin. What does this REALLY mean?
A goblin is, of course, a grotesque sprite or elf. A little, monster of a being. Who’s there knocking at the door? Could it be Get Down Goblin?
Here’s the thing, if the goblin is at the door, and he is in fact getting down, and you want to answer it, can he really be so grotesque? It’s interesting that Jan took a monster that everyone reviles and hates and gave it the talent of dance. She’s highlighting just how superficial our society is.
What “Get Down Goblin” really means to say, is that sometimes, occasionally, there’s someone at the door. They may not look like much. They may make you vomit a little as you look at them through your peephole. BUT! Regardless! You should let them in.
And get down.
Anyway, who remembers this sweet Backstreet Boys song?
Disagree with Mason’s assessment? Fight with him in the comments section about it!
Mason Johnson, CBS Chicago