Horrible Horoscopes: Capricorn

By Mason Johnson

Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry).

Capricorn

Capricorn! Love, right? How about it? Throw away your fears of commitment right now -- it's time to get married.

I know what you're thinking. The Moon hates the concept of marriage. The Moon thinks you should stay single. The Moon thinks monogamous relationships are a trap that inhibits freedom.

Well that's all changed! Why? Because international pop star PSY has made weddings (and just about everything else) fun.

Yes, that's right, PSY, along with this lovely couple, have shown the Moon the meaning of love...

Come on, let's go get married.

(Okay, yeah, this horoscope was just another excuse to post Gangnam Style, but it was worth it, right?)

Horrible Horoscopes is updated Monday through Saturday at 12 and 2 pm. Find the latest Horrible Horoscopes here!

Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology.