Best Of Chicago

Horrible Horoscopes: Scorpio

December 7, 2012 2:00 PM

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THAT GUY knows how to multi-task! (Credit: Bruno Vincent/Getty Images)

THAT GUY knows how to multi-task! (Credit: Bruno Vincent/Getty Images)

By Mason Johnson

Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry). Not your sign? Find more Horrible Horoscopes here.

THAT GUY knows how to multi-task! (Credit: Bruno Vincent/Getty Images)

THAT GUY knows how to multi-task! (Credit: Bruno Vincent/Getty Images)

Scorpio

Scorpio! The world is full of infinite possibilities, your only challenge is finding the time to take advantage of them all!

Have you tried multi-tasking?

For example, I’m writing this article from the toilet.

I often work on the toilet, I call it the “two birds with one stone while going number two” method.

Thanks to modern technology (smartphones!), I can work, tweet, facebook, invest in stocks, play tetris, write craigslist personals and buy ninja swords from Ebay — all from the beautiful comfort of my toilet! And you can too (as long as your 3G/4G doesn’t go out).

In fact, you probably already do.

So get out there and multitask, Scorpio.

Horrible Horoscopes is updated Monday through Friday. Find the latest Horrible Horoscopes here!

Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology. “Sorry for the poop jokes,” is going to be written on his headstone.

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