By Mason Johnson
UPDATE: You missed it! You missed #SNOWBRAWL2013! See all the amazingness that you missed here:
Wicker Park Fountain
TONIGHT! 8 pm sharp!
Hear that? Those, my friend, are the wails of another poor soul who’s just been hit in the face by a tightly packed ball of snow.
Yes, that’s right, it is upon us: #SNOWBRAWL2013. Like the bloody beginning of Saving Private Ryan, but without the beautiful beaches of Normandy. #SNOWBRAWL2013 will crush the strongest Chicagoans into submission. Were Nelson Algren and Carl Sandburg alive today, their writing might very well be changed forever, transformed from the boisterous prose and poetry we know and love into blank white pages that pale in comparison to the brutal and bitter whiteness that weather and war is about to bestow upon the sorry saps participating in… #SNOWBRAWL2013.
Am I being too dramatic? I am, aren’t I? I’ve crossed a line, haven’t I?
Well it doesn’t matter, ’cause today, that line is covered in snow.
And, if you hadn’t noticed, there’s a pretty decent snowstorm happening as we speak.
If you’re not quite in the mood for a snowball fight, Chicagoist’s videos of last year’s brawl might just convince you to go, ya wuss. (This is peer pressure. Is it working?)
Wicker Park Fountain, 8 pm, see ya there!
Also! I’ve heard it through the grapevine that Piece Pizza invited all #SNOWBRAWL2013 heroes over for some $1 beers after the fight. If you still don’t want to go, there’s something wrong with you…