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Submit To Poem The News

February 11, 2013 6:00 AM

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Pretty sure poetry doesn't look nearly this cool, but we'll pretend.

Pretty sure poetry doesn’t look nearly this cool, but we’ll pretend.

Poetry comes from the heart... (Credit: Mason Johnson)

Poetry comes from the heart… (Credit: Mason Johnson)

By Mason Johnson

To stave of that I-want-to-drive-off-a-cliff boredom that ensnares us all before the weekend, I like to post reader-submitted poems based off CBS news stories every Friday. They are entertaining. They are funny. Some are heartwarming. A few are even good. Most are stupid, but that’s kind of the point (though feel free to submit “good” poems too). You can read Poem the News here. Below are the submission guidelines. Write some poems of your own. Submit them. Become a star (because, you know, poetry’s totally cool and can make you famous, duh).

Submission Guidelines

For next week, readers are welcome to write a poem about any CBS article in existence. Personally, I suggest (and favor poems about) the following articles:

The Truth About Lil Wayne, Sizzurp And Seizures
Police: Woman Bites Spring Break Visitor’s Face For Littering On Beach
Study: Smiling Fighters More Likely To Lose
Experts Say Food May Contribute To Anger, Violent Behavior
Dogs Help North Texas Parents Sniff Out Kids’ Drug Problems
$24K Girl Scout Cookie Order Turns Out To Be Hoax
Study: Women Wake Up Grumpier Than Men
“Blood Facial” Gaining Popularity At Miami Aging Center
Jordany Valdespin Picks Wrong Day To Forgo Cup, Takes Fastball To Nether Region
Dolce & Gabbana To Release Perfume For Babies
Study: Walmart Most Popular Place For People To Fall In Love At First Sight
4-Year-Old Lands On Feet After Falling From 3rd Story Window

Email your poem(s) based on ANY CBS news article to mason.johnson@CBSRadio.com with a subject line that reads “Take these Poemz!” I’ll pick 3 out of the batch to post. Email them no later than Friday, March 22nd by 9am CDT. Realize that the only payment is the fame that comes with being published by the prestigious poetry organization that is CBS.

Mason Johnson, CBS Chicago

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