By Shawn Muller–

A “snake oil” salesman is a person who exaggerates the benefits of their product– when in fact– it has not been proven to have any types of qualities or benefits for it’s user.

Roger Goodell and the NFL front-office…definitely fall under the “snake oil” salesmen moniker, for their ridiculous new attempt to suck the remaining dollars out of the pockets of the people that have made the NFL what it is today.

It is no secret. The Super Bowl has become an event for the rich and powerful, not the everyday working man. Unless you are one of the fortunate few, and get to attend the big game on someone else’s dime, one can expect to shell out $600–at minimum–for one (yes, I said one) ticket. Adding insult-to-injury, the seat will most likely be in the nose-bleeds tucked away in some dark corner of the stadium with an obstructed view. Couple the tickets with travel costs, lodging, and spending money (you are probably going to want something to eat, right?), and the Super Bowl can cost thousands of dollars. How can anyone that doesn’t sit on a gold-plated toilet or use money as a Kleenex to blow their nose, afford to attend such a high-profile event?

What’s that you say? The NFL is going to sell tickets for the incredibly low-price of just $200? That’s not bad at all! Dallas, here we come!

Well…don’t start packing your bags for Dallas just yet, because, if what I just said sounds too good to be true….it is.

In a ridiculous attempt to break the all-time Super Bowl attendance record of 105,985–set back in 1980 at the Rose Bowl– the NFL announced that they would be making tickets available to Cowboy Club Seat season ticket holders to watch the big game…OUTSIDE THE STADIUM!

Yes, you read that correctly!

People need to shell out $800–because interested parties have to buy them in blocks of four–to watch the Super Bowl on giant television sets. But that’s not all. Included in this wonderful little scam the NFL is selling, the gullible morons will also receive a free parking pass, a game program, and a scarf!

Ooooh…a scarf! Count me in!

The sad part of all this, however, is that, if the NFL didn’t think they could sell such a package and increase profits, they wouldn’t be offering it as an alternative to watching the game from inside.

But what does it say about the people who are actually willing to pay for such a sham? If people are that stupid to buy a “ticket” to the game that doesn’t even get them inside the stadium, then I guess they deserve to be taken. If they enjoy throwing their money away, I have some ocean-front property in Kansas that I could sell them too???

I can think of a cheaper way to watch the game. How about enjoying it from the comfort of your own home? You are still watching the game on some fancy HDTV. You will have free parking. You can go online and order an authentic game program for probably $20 (at the most), and you won’t need the stupid scarf because you will be indoors. If the scarf is the deal breaker for you, then follow my advice about the program and buy it online too. And since those attending the outside viewing party will not be allowed to bring coolers with them, watching the game from the comfort of your own home allows a person to consume as many “adult” beverages as they wish.

You will basically have everything all the suckers sitting outside Cowboys Stadium will have…except the debt paid out to the “snake oil“ salesmen of the National Football League.

This idea seems a little more cost-effective, doesn’t it?

Do you agree with Shawn? Post your comments below.

steve muller Muller: Attend The Super Bowl For $200, Not Quite

Shawn Muller

Shawn Muller has lived in Chicago for 7 years. He is a graduate of the University of Wisconsin-Madison and just recently received his certificate in radio broadcasting in October of 2010. Sports have always been a passion of Shawn’s. In his free time, Shawn enjoys spending time with his wife Melissa and 3 year old daughter Ava, catching any live sporting event, and traveling. Check out his radio show, “Grab Some Bench with Muller and Bangser” at

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