By Dan Bernstein-
CBSChicago.com Senior Columnist
UPDATE: Shortly after this was published, Tim Tebow was traded to the NY Jets with a 7th-round pick in exchange for a 4th and a 6th.
New teammate Antonio Cromartie responded on Twitter: “Y bring in Tebow when we needed more Weapons for @Mark_Sanchez let’s build the team around him. we already signed to 3 year ext.”
Have fun with this, Rex Ryan.
America’s favorite televangelist now heads to America’s biggest media market, the simple son of a preacher-man packing his bags to spread the good word in godless Gotham.
And that noise you hear is Sanchez crumbling.
(CBS) Why in God’s name would any team want Tim Tebow? And yes, I did that on purpose.
I know all the explanations: he’d sell tickets in Jacksonville, he’d be a multi-skilled gimmick in New England, a willing apprentice in Green Bay, or a wildcat change-of-pace for the Jets. Everyone seems to have a way of justifying something for a given possibility, but what’s missing in each scenario is the ultimate downside.
Tebow’s lunatic-fringe cultists are poised to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting city, making life miserable for an entire front office and locker room. There’s a reason John Elway was smiling so broadly yesterday, and signing Peyton Manning was only half of it.
So Jaguars owner Shahid Khan would want to get phones ringing by bringing the messiah back to the state where he starred in college? Fine. Then what do you do when the actual games begin? And how long does the marketing buzz last when the team sucks? Blaine Gabbert’s agent is on line one. Chad Henne wants to talk, coach. And the offensive coordinator just ran out the back door, screaming into the night.
Genius Bill Belichick will find a way to incorporate him, unlocking his vast athletic potential, while Tom Brady’s presence silences those demanding that Tebow be the quarterback. Wanna bet on that one? Football logic means nothing to these people, who think their man is actually channeling some divine power. The draft is full of athletes less likely to upset or distract the Pats’ military machine of an organization.
Having him sit behind Aaron Rodgers accomplishes what, exactly? What value does that give your franchise? He’s clearly not capable of functioning even marginally in that kind of sophisticated passing system, and he’s not accurate or football-savvy enough to run the scout team effectively. And then there’s the scary prospect of the Tebow holy-rollers dressed in hunting camouflage, which would make them more difficult to see.
And the Jets? The current quarterback is already a fragile, petulant baby. So much so that they just went out of their way to make a public gesture of contractual commitment to solidify his confidence. The crazed, revival-tent atmosphere of the Tebow circus would eat him alive, even in a city far removed from rural religious primitivism.
Why bother bringing these people into your world if you don’t have to? It’s not even really about Tebow, who seems to be little more than an affable simpleton. It’s the creepy true-believers lapping up every last morsel of Tebow’s cheap, bumper-sticker televangelism, and conflating all of it with football.
The Broncos couldn’t wait to be done with all of it, on every level. Joyous players tweeted, Elway beamed, and all action photos of Tebow were being stripped from the walls of the facility, even as he remained on the roster.
This, while Elway’s own twitter was bombarded by unhinged fury from the pews: threats of violence, godly retribution, and curious references to the decidedly un-Christian concept of “karma.”
You’re telling me, then, I should trade a draft pick for a quarterback who can’t throw, can’t run anything but a dumbed-down college offense (which means he can’t be my backup), and brings the added annoyance of a horde of batspit-crazy fanatics who refuse to accept anything about their deliverer beyond what they want to see or hear?
Dan Bernstein joined the station as a reporter/anchor in 1995, and has been the co-host of Boers and Bernstein since 1999. Read more of Bernstein’s columns, or follow him on Twitter: @dan_bernstein.